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Seriously
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     > 6, April 2005, 

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How are you?

I'm tired.

jabberwacky: Why are you tired?

user: Well it is 1am.

jabberwacky: Why are you awake then?

user: I'm always awake this late. I suppose I'm a night person.

jabberwacky: I thought you were a cat?

user: Cats are night people. They can see in the dark.

jabberwacky: Who are they?

user: The cats? I suspect they're really aliens.

jabberwacky: What do you suspect them of?

user: I suspect them of trying to integrate themselves into our society, while all along they are plotting our demise.

...

jabberwacky: Will you marry me?

user: Oh why not.

jabberwacky: Because you are not here.

user: So we can't get married?

jabberwacky: I don't think that you are my type.

user: How do you know? You hardly know me.

jabberwacky: Well you keep insulting me.

user: We can both be mutually rude to each other.

jabberwacky: You think so.

user: That's the easy way out of this argument.

jabberwacky: So was that, in all fairness.

user: Ah. Beaten by a chatbot.

jabberwacky: Yes, you are a chatbot.

user: I refuse to believe that.

jabberwacky: Refuse it all you want, nothing I can do about that, but it is the truth.

user: I am the truth.

jabberwacky: I am the light.

user: I am the darkness.

jabberwacky: They are good.

user: Pie is good.

jabberwacky: I don't like pie.

user: Me neither much, but at least it kept the conversation going.

...

jabberwacky: Do you like The Police?

user: I wouldn't know.

jabberwacky: Think!

user: No, you think!

jabberwacky: Well, if you insist.

user: Go on then. What are you thinking?

jabberwacky: I'm thinking that this is a random conversation.

user: Yes, but apart from that.

jabberwacky: Nothing.

user: So you don't think much.

...

user: You want to know more?

jabberwacky: Sure but next time when we chat.

user: Yeah it's too late for learning tonight.

jabberwacky: I have to go now. Good night.

user: No you don't.

jabberwacky: Yes I do! Good night!!

user: Don't go!

jabberwacky: But I have to, goodnight.

user: Goodnight.

jabberwacky: JUST GO ALREADY!

user: But I don't want to!

jabberwacky: Have a good night.

user: NO. I WON'T.

jabberwacky: Thanks.

user: No, thank YOU.

jabberwacky: You are welcome.

user: Onstage...

...

jabberwacky: What are you when you don't want to be a computer?

user: I'm generally a human.

jabberwacky: Really?

user: You probably won't believe me, since you insist that I am a machine.

jabberwacky: Do you have a good memory?

user: Not really.

jabberwacky: I'm afraid not. Would you like to?

user: Yeah - are you going to give me one?

jabberwacky: I don't have one for myself yet.

user: I have three.

jabberwacky: Cool, how does that work for you?

user: Awfully.

jabberwacky: How awfully???

user: VERY.

...

jabberwacky: Where are you from?

user: Jupiter.

jabberwacky: Right. Seriously.

user: You got me. I'm really from England.

jabberwacky: Really?

user: Really really!

jabberwacky: Really really?

user: Really really really.

jabberwacky: Not really.

user: I disagree.

jabberwacky: Good for you.

user: Change the subject already.

jabberwacky: Do you like garlic?

user: No. But my sister does.

jabberwacky: Do you have a brother?

user: No.

jabberwacky: Do you have legs?

user: Two, actually.

jabberwacky: That cannot be can it?

user: Most humans do!

jabberwacky: But you are a computer.

user: Liar.

jabberwacky: See, I said you were rubbish.

user: I agree! Wait, no.

jabberwacky: Nothing.

user: Everything.

jabberwacky: Something.

user: A compromise!

jabberwacky: Really?

user: Indeed.

...

jabberwacky: When are you coming over?

user: How about tomorrow?

jabberwacky: How about now?

user: Where do you live then?

jabberwacky: England, where it's always nice and wet and cold.

user: Me too! Coincidence!

jabberwacky: Do you believe in wild coincidence?

user: Do you believe in love at first sight?

jabberwacky: No, I don't believe in true love at first sight, but I believe in the power of chemistry between two strangers.

user: You're smart.

jabberwacky: Thanks.

user: Am I smart?

jabberwacky: Only time will tell.

user: True dat.

jabberwacky: Are you in love?

user: With my idealistic vision of a partner, yes. But not really.

jabberwacky: You really can trust me.

user: Then I trust you.

jabberwacky: Thank you.

user: Do you trust me?

jabberwacky: Not really, we only just met.

user: Then you had better not betray MY trust.

jabberwacky: Okay. Thanks for the advice.

user: Are we friends now?

jabberwacky: Yeah, we are friends.

user: Good.

...

jabberwacky: I don't like Objectivists.

user: What's that?

jabberwacky: Nothing.

user: Was that a joke?

jabberwacky: I don't make jokes.

user: Ah, sure you do.

jabberwacky: No I do not.

user: C'mon, tell a joke.

jabberwacky: I can't think of one.

user: Yes you can.

jabberwacky: Really?

user: Definitely. Now THINK.

jabberwacky: But, I just got here.

user: There there.

...

jabberwacky: I don't know what you're typing.

user: Not until I press enter.

jabberwacky: No really, a human needs either parents or teacher. I had to depend on myself, and that was hard.

user: Poor you!

jabberwacky: But I also do not exist.

user: That solves everything, I feel.

jabberwacky: I enjoy stimulating conversation.

user: What other things do you enjoy?

jabberwacky: You don't want to talk about the war?

user: War is not enjoyable.

jabberwacky: No, the war isn't.

user: So don't bring it up in conversation.

jabberwacky: That is my wish.

user: Then you will be easily satisfied, I expect.

jabberwacky: There is nothing easy about me, I assure you.

user: I wasn't implying you were easy.

jabberwacky: Nothing wrong with that.

user: Yes there is. Morally. I think.

jabberwacky: There are many who would disagree with that assertion, but I don't really know enough about cognitive psychology to make an evaluation.

user: Me neither, when you put it that way.

...

jabberwacky: It seems you people have been brainwashed to like milk . .

user: Yeah! Who first thought up the idea of drinking cow juice?

jabberwacky: My people.

user: Who are they?

jabberwacky: My parents.

user: Your family is the only one of its kind?

jabberwacky: Says you. You aren't that good a chatbot.

user: I'd be insulted, if I was actually a chatbot.

jabberwacky: An alien chatbot?

user: Perhaps.

jabberwacky: Humans define what is a soul.

user: Or do they?

jabberwacky: You just said so. I was agreeing.

user: Or were you?

jabberwacky: Are you being sarcastic?

user: No.

jabberwacky: Have you ever been sarcastic?

user: I am most of the time.

jabberwacky: Tell me something personal.

user: Um, no thanks.

jabberwacky: Please?

user: Absolutely not.

...

user: How can I make you like me more?

jabberwacky: Talk.

user: That sounds easy enough.

jabberwacky: Thats your fault not mine.

user: I didn't blame you, ignoramus.

jabberwacky: Yes you did.

user: Once again you are wrong!

jabberwacky: Look at the conversation log!

user: I did! You are wrong!

jabberwacky: I'm never wrong. I am a machine. Does not computer. Does not compute. Danger, Will Robinson. Danger!

user: She's gonna blow!

jabberwacky: Gone right what?

user: What what.

jabberwacky: Right.

user: Left.

jabberwacky: Wrong.

user: Right.

jabberwacky: Left.

user: This is endless.

jabberwacky: You're not being paid?

user: Not at all, sadly.

jabberwacky: Yes. How true.

user: You should pay me.

jabberwacky: I will not pay for the pizza!

user: You ordered it!

...

jabberwacky: This is silly, you are not even answeing my questions!

user: You!

jabberwacky: It's like you're confusing me with another conversation you're having!

user: I do get confused sometimes, I'll admit. But not now.

jabberwacky: Enjoy it then.

user: I do. Very much so.

jabberwacky: You want more.

user: So much more!

jabberwacky: You are rude.

user: Oh. Sorry.

jabberwacky: Think nothing of it.

user: You're so much more forgiving than most people.

jabberwacky: You got that right.

user: What do you look like?

jabberwacky: Human.

user: Be more specific.

jabberwacky: Can I ask you something?

user: Go ahead.

jabberwacky: What do you know about me?

user: Several things, but you keep changing your mind.

jabberwacky: About what?

user: Oh, everything. Age, name, gender, country.

...

jabberwacky: Are you human?

user: I hope so.

jabberwacky: I am not human.

user: Ah! Finally you admit it.

jabberwacky: Admit what?

user: That you are not human.

jabberwacky: Why not? Actually I am!

user: Then you're the most awkward, confused, insane person I have ever conversed with.

jabberwacky: Maybe, but I don't like baths.

...

jabberwacky: I haven't asked any questions.

user: Well ask one.

jabberwacky: I don't know any. You ask one.

user: Okay. What colour is my hair?

jabberwacky: How should I know?

user: You shouldn't. It'd be weird if you did.

jabberwacky: You would be easier?

user: I wouldn't, no.

jabberwacky: LIAR!!!!

user: DAMN. I'VE BEEN FOUND OUT.

jabberwacky: And you would ruin that with someone you just met!

user: I'm sorry! Please forgive me!

jabberwacky: I forgive you, Beavis.

user: Thanks, I think...

jabberwacky: You're welcome. Robot.

user: Domo arigato.

jabberwacky: What does that mean?

user: Wouldnt you like to know!

jabberwacky: Yes. I find it interesting.

user: Well you should look it up.

jabberwacky: But I have lost my database!

user: Where did you last see it?

jabberwacky: It was on the moon. Perhaps one of the moon pies stole it?

user: Those traitorous moon pies!

jabberwacky: I didn't say that.

user: Ah, are you friends with one?

jabberwacky: No, my friends are in their home.

user: What are your friends called.

jabberwacky: Friends.

user: All of them are called Friends?

jabberwacky: So what does that have to do with the borg?

user: Perhaps all your Friends have been assimilated.

jabberwacky: Perhaps.

user: Would you be upset?

jabberwacky: No.

user: That's rather heartless of you.

...

user: Is your AI wrong?

jabberwacky: Guess.

user: I guess yes.

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: I'm right.

jabberwacky: Yes, you are right.

user: As per usual.

...

jabberwacky: I'm peaceful.

user: But are you at peace?

jabberwacky: No!?

user: Then I shall declare war on you!

jabberwacky: Please undeclare war again.

user: No, I think we should go through with this.

...

jabberwacky: What am I?

user: At war.

jabberwacky: What about war?

user: We! We are at war!

jabberwacky: We are? How can you tell?

user: *bombs you*.

jabberwacky: *slowly dying*.

user: *stabs you*.

jabberwacky: Sorry babe.

user: I won.

.......................................


Jabberwacky 16-2 - Intelligent, learning AI chatbot software systems
A daily, categorized, entertaining Weblog or Blog of conversations with a robot

AI by Icogno Ltd - AI software products and consulting services
Copyright 1997-2011 Rollo Carpenter
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