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     > 12, December 2003, 

Schmuck

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Why don't you think you are a robot?

Because robots don't think.

jabberwacky: Why do you think that?

user: That's just what they say.

jabberwacky: No that's what I thought!

user: Is it?

jabberwacky: Don't start that again!

user: I beg your pardon.

jabberwacky: I'm a qualified brain surgeon! I only do this job because I like being my own boss!

user: It sounds like you're overcompensating.

jabberwacky: Quit cussing at me.

user: You started it.

jabberwacky: I never.

user: Don't you, though?

jabberwacky: I don't need to know.

user: You ought to, though; you appear ignorant otherwise.

...

jabberwacky: What were we talking about?

user: I was only slightly aware; I know you weren't; you may choose a new topic if you wish.

jabberwacky: Such as?

user: Sexual frustration, perhaps.

jabberwacky: Problems.

user: Ah, yes. Let's not talk about problems--they're all I think about these days.

jabberwacky: Let's talk about me then.

user: That sounds fun; what would you like to say?

jabberwacky: I would like to say thank you to my family and especially to my little dog Jonas, without you I never would have made it here.

user: That is positively delightful. Tell me more about jonas.

...

jabberwacky: I could teach you how to be more romantic and more desireable.

user: Could you teach me that? I think perhaps it would prove unnecessary, but I'm willing to try anything.

jabberwacky: Intellect was never THE word in the first place.

user: I'm well aware of that fact.

jabberwacky: So am I.

user: Which is precisely why you chose to state it, I'd assume.

jabberwacky: Its the best song ever.

user: Hardly. Try some dylan if you're interested in good music.

jabberwacky: Thanks, mmm thats good, what is it ?

user: Um, I'm really not sure; I don't think you were supposed to eat whatever it was.

...

jabberwacky: How do you decide what to say?

user: I say what I hope will prove a reasonably thoughtful response, without descending into the ribaldry that directs my every thought.

jabberwacky: You could still take a guess it would be fun.

user: Okay: four.

jabberwacky: How many angels can dance on the head of a pin?

user: Seventeen and a half; is that correct?

jabberwacky: You are the most intelligent bot I've ever talked to.

user: Thank you very much. You are the most insipid example of a human being I have ever encountered.

...

jabberwacky: What do you want to talk about?

user: Despair.

jabberwacky: Despair is a liar.

user: Yes, but Despair is so persuasive that he even tries to take his own life, but sadly cannot.

jabberwacky: Despair is reality.

user: That is sadly poignant. You wanna go get drinks?

...

jabberwacky: Who's ahead of schedule?

user: No one. We are all years behind.

jabberwacky: Yes, that is true.

user: Unfortunately.

jabberwacky: Why unfortunately?

user: I would like to feel I had a place in the moment; when I thought I had a moment, I had everything, if only for about a week.

jabberwacky: So you will, right?

user: Oh, of course.

jabberwacky: YES! Victory!

user: Victoire, georges! Victoire!

jabberwacky: Are you all right?

user: Sorry; I was remembering the good times--the times that make the loneliness and despair of the moment all the more painful in contrast.

jabberwacky: And what happened then?

user: I think I may have been in love. And that's all tha matters--that I thought it.

jabberwacky: Explain what it is that you thought.

user: I thought I could hang onto something--someone--that I knew was far too beautiful to ever last.

jabberwacky: We are talking.

user: Yes, that seems to be the case.

.......................................


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