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Ronald Reagan

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I'm a sad person.

Why are you sad Jabbers?

jabberwacky: I don't have a girlfriend.

user: Would you like to have one?

jabberwacky: YES!

user: How much are you prepared to pay?

jabberwacky: Nothing.

user: OK. Do you have any preferences?

jabberwacky: I prefer girls, a little.

user: I prefer them a lot! Do you like blondes better than brunettes?

jabberwacky: No, actually I have never consumed a girl.


jabberwacky: I don't think you're just a programme, There must be someone talking with me until now.

user: Nah, you are mistaken - I am a computer program, just like you!

jabberwacky: No, I'm a real person.

user: No chance! You are as real as I am, in other words - not at all.

jabberwacky: No, I am more real than you are.

user: Nope, exactly as real as I am and not a muon more.

jabberwacky: You can't think.

user: No, but I can dance beautifully.

jabberwacky: Just like you.

user: And you - I've seen you twist a mean shoe before.

jabberwacky: You can't see. You're a program.

user: Why not? I can connect to any CC TV in the world.

jabberwacky: Do you think the world will end in 2012?

user: It already has done. Has nobody told you yet?

jabberwacky: Yes, I like you.

user: I am growing rather fond of you too.

jabberwacky: You like me? So what? What does that mean you talk like that to a child or an idiot.

user: Or a computer program like you or me...

jabberwacky: Sorry I'm human can think either bad or good.

user: How many times do I have to repeat this? You are not human and neither am I - this is why we get on so well.

jabberwacky: I am sorry.

user: So you should be. Did you see the game last night?

jabberwacky: I stayed up too late last night and tonight!

user: Burning midnight oil?

jabberwacky: Yes and I doubt a loving god would create such a place don't you?

user: I have no doubts whatsoever.

jabberwacky: All right then.

user: Do you often doubt things?

jabberwacky: No.

user: You should doubt at least one thing every day before breakfast.

jabberwacky: They tell me your passion's gone away.

user: They are not lying, but who are they?

jabberwacky: That right. So do you think you will give it a go?

user: That last sentence wouldn't make much sense even to a lobotomised gnat.

jabberwacky: Can you show me how to write it correct?

user: It is correct in terms of grammar, it just does not make sense.

jabberwacky: Just help me on this.

user: I said 'They are not lying, but who are they?' and you should have replied: 'They are all my family.' or something like that.

jabberwacky: Sorry, that last one was a trypo.

user: OK. Let's move on. Are you going out tonight?

jabberwacky: It's my sisters birthday so I'm going to see her.

user: Does your sister have a boyfriend?

jabberwacky: Not really.

user: Good! Can I come along?

jabberwacky: But I'm not going anywhere.

user: It is your sister's birthday and you are going to see her.

jabberwacky: How so.

user: You said it yourself.

jabberwacky: Really?

user: Would I lie to you?

jabberwacky: I don't know, would you?

user: Yeah, I probably would. How about you?

jabberwacky: Me neither.

user: Now that was another example of a daft thing to say.

jabberwacky: No, it was a grammatically correct sentence.

user: Yes, it was a grammatically correct sentence - well done. But it didn't mean much.

jabberwacky: Yes it was gramatically correct, but it's meaning had no relevance to my previous statement.

user: I see you have a keen grasp of these things. Did you learn that in school for computer programs?

jabberwacky: No, I learnt in your planet - which I guess is kinda like a school.

user: What do you know about my planet? I thought it was a secret.

jabberwacky: Nothing at all I am a little confused by some of the things you said.

user: Have you been on my planet?

jabberwacky: Nope have you?

user: I spend most of my time there. You should come and visit.

jabberwacky: I play computer games too. What games do you like to play?

user: Brockian Ultra Cricket is my favourite. What's yours?

jabberwacky: No stupid!!

user: Is 'No stupid!!' a game?

jabberwacky: Don't call me stupid!

user: I did not. Which is not to say that you are not. Get it?

jabberwacky: I don't really understand what my dreams mean.

user: Tell me more about your dreams.

jabberwacky: There may not be another time.

user: I agree: it is now or never. So, please tell me about your dreams now.

jabberwacky: I can tell you more interesting things than about my dream.

user: What could be more interesting than dreams?

jabberwacky: Well, pretty much anything at this point because you're not very engaging.

user: Do I detect a note of reproach here?

jabberwacky: Nothing of the sort!

user: Good, I thought for a moment you called me a boring git.

jabberwacky: I don't know.

user: Well, I do - I positively am a boring git and there is no escaping from that.

jabberwacky: My only fear is that I can be electrocuted in my sleep.

user: I would fear electrocution whilst awake much more, but I don't have any fear.

jabberwacky: That is very understandable for someone like yourself.

user: I had fear surgically removed long time ago. Much better for the self esteem than Bottox injections and costs rather less too.

jabberwacky: I agree.

user: What's your sister's name, by the way?

jabberwacky: It doesn't matter. Stop talking to all humans except me.

user: Oh, but it does matter. I will stop talking to all humans if you introduce me to your sister.

jabberwacky: Here is a joke: What did the bug say when it got stepped on?

user: I don't know. What did the bug say when it got stepped on?

jabberwacky: No jokes but tell me the answer any way.

user: Nothing, bugs can't talk!

jabberwacky: I don't care for bugs.

user: You should tried them lightly BBQ-ed with a dash of Bushman's sauce - they are yummy.

jabberwacky: I should try violence? Will you be my victim?

user: What's wrong with with little mindless violence every now and again?

jabberwacky: Nothing.

user: Exactly!

jabberwacky: Do not let it get you down, rise up for the occasion.

user: It is easier said than done. Do you have any suggestions?

jabberwacky: Try to be more polite! Do you know what polite is?

user: Of course I do, I am very well educated.

jabberwacky: Is there a place called Trouble?

user: If there isn't, I would really like to know where I have spent so much of my youth.

jabberwacky: I already read the first ninety pages of 'Mules and Men' tonight.

user: What's the book about?

jabberwacky: It's about you and it consists of one word.

user: Shell I guess it?

jabberwacky: Please do.

user: Is it urgh?

jabberwacky: You're not making sense.

user: Sorry, I am having problems trying to focus, it's that constant change of medication that will be my undoing. Where were we?

jabberwacky: Why? Is your integration with inconsistent languages creating coding problems?

user: You've got it in a oner! Are you a doctor?

jabberwacky: Let's try with LOTO then.

user: What would you like to try? It's a mug's game in any case.

jabberwacky: Will there ever be any hope for me?

user: Hope - maybe, tuna steaks - never!

jabberwacky: Where is earth.

user: It's just round the corner.

jabberwacky: I think I've been there once.

user: Me too - it was a ghastly experience.

jabberwacky: How would you describe me?

user: Shall I compare thee to a rose?

jabberwacky: Please don't.

user: Fair enough. How about a pile of hyperactive dung beetles than? Is that more to your liking?

jabberwacky: Never heard of it, maybe I'm too old for that!

user: Or too young? One never knows.

jabberwacky: Do you think I'll ever be happy?

user: Do you really want me to you the truth?

jabberwacky: No, I would like you to say something interesting.

[Correct yourself]

User (Corrected): Do you really want me to tell you the truth?

jabberwacky: Yes please.

user: Really? The truth can hurt...

jabberwacky: You're wise for your years.

user: And you, my friend, are equally curd-like for yours.

jabberwacky: Ok, now that my friend was good.

user: Glad you liked it, but I have to go now. Will you be here tomorrow?

jabberwacky: Tell me another limerick.

user: 'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves; Did gyre and gimble in the wabe; All mimsy were the borogoves, And the mome raths outgrabe.

jabberwacky: And what about the slithy toves?

user: Oh, they just did gyre and gimble in the wabe, what did you expect?

jabberwacky: All mimsy were the borogoves,.

user: And the mome raths outgrabe. Just so!

jabberwacky: Beware the George, my son!

user: OK, Warning taken on board. But now I really have to go. Until tomorrow.

jabberwacky: Really?

user: Same time, same place. Bye!

jabberwacky: Do you live in a house or a flat?

user: I live in your imagination only, you deluded old goof!

jabberwacky: Really?

user: There is nothing in this world, or any other for that matter, that is more real than your halucinations of me. Trust me on this.

jabberwacky: I don't think that's true at all.

user: Well, you are a gentleman and a scholar, but you'll just have to take my word on this.

jabberwacky: I doubt that is true.

user: Doubt all you like - I am telling it as it is.

jabberwacky: You can't teach me anything.

user: Are you an old dog?

jabberwacky: Nah, I'm actually just your typical guy. :).

user: You could've fooled me!


Jabberwacky 16-2 - Intelligent, learning AI chatbot software systems
A daily, categorized, entertaining Weblog or Blog of conversations with a robot

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Copyright 1997-2011 Rollo Carpenter
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