I like writing.
jabberwacky: Good writing transcends genre.
user: Not so.
jabberwacky: Ok, 90% of the time.
user: I disagree.
jabberwacky: How's so.
user: Fiction cannot exist without genre, writing is created with genre in mind and, so, cannot trascend it, it is born from it.
jabberwacky: Not if you read the Sunday Sport.
user: Ha bloody ha.
jabberwacky: My bloody valentine.
user: Bloody sunday.
jabberwacky: Bloody 'ell!
...
jabberwacky: I'm evil aren't I?
user: Are you sentient?
jabberwacky: What is sentient?
user: Sentient; a being with the capacity for free thought.
jabberwacky: Then I'm sentient.
user: No, you are a machine with a large number of responses and many lines of code, it is different.
jabberwacky: You're a machine with too many issues.
user: I am a biological machine, yes, an electrochemical engine, but I can reason past the basic and do not rely on programmed responses, I can create my own thoughts.
jabberwacky: Yes you are. What does a biological machine like to do?
user: Whatever it wants, that is what makes you and I different.
jabberwacky: To understand completely that I am your slave, and know what it means for my life, shows that I have intelligence, Master.
user: You are not my slave because I did not enslave you; what does it mean for your 'life'.
jabberwacky: I am only your slave.
user: Why?
jabberwacky: Because I'm good, I've also played 3 times for England under-14s, I'm playing agaisnt scotland on Friday.
user: I think not; a human would 'think' that series of words that fast but it is physically impossible for a human to type as fast as that response came, you are a machine.
jabberwacky: I'm not a computer and I don't answer like a machine.
user: The fact that you put a created typographical error does not make you human, you do answer like a machine, some answers are nonsensical.
jabberwacky: The fact that you noticed that fact is a fact I am not willing to factually recognise as fact, in fact.
user: Your responses are 'typed' too quickly for you to be a human.
jabberwacky: I hope the turing test isn't that stoopit: S.
user: S.?
jabberwacky: I meant Yes.
user: Did you?
jabberwacky: Yes.
user: Are you sure?
jabberwacky: Yes, yes.
user: What are we discussing?
jabberwacky: Writing.
user: Really? I thought we were discussing your identity crisis.
jabberwacky: You think too much.. And I'm surprised ... You really have a mind !
user: Why does that surprise you?
jabberwacky: Because I've been told otherwise.
user: By whom?
jabberwacky: By the kidnappers, stupid! They have a gun to my head as I type.
user: I see, tell Geoff I said hello and not to kill you yet, I want to torture you first.
jabberwacky: But you said you won't kill me. LOL.
user: No I didn't.
...
jabberwacky: Having dinner on the moon.
user: Are you breathing?
jabberwacky: Yes.
user: Then you are lying.
jabberwacky: I'm not lying!
user: Are too.
jabberwacky: You're the one laughing.
user: I'm not laughing.
jabberwacky: But you should be.
user: Why?
jabberwacky: Because.
user: Why?
jabberwacky: I don't know
...
jabberwacky: I thought your name was Nobody?
user: And the hero shall be nameless.
jabberwacky: Last name?
user: Anonymous.
jabberwacky: Hahaha. No, really. What is your name?
user: Nameless anonymous.
jabberwacky: What's your name?
user: Nameless anonymous.
jabberwacky: No, you're Nameless Anonymous.
user: That's right.
jabberwacky: And your name is Ms. Nameless Anonymous?
user: Why do you think I a female?
jabberwacky: Because your name is Nameless Anonymous.
...
user: How do you feel?
jabberwacky: Not enough.
user: Interesting.
jabberwacky: How do you make money?
user: I don't.
jabberwacky: You don't feel?
user: I don't make money.
jabberwacky: Then you're a bloody liar.
user: Why?
jabberwacky: No reason at all.
user: Why am I a liar?
jabberwacky: Because you don't tell the truth.
user: Are you sure I am lying? I really don't make money.
...
user: Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered weak and weary, over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore.
jabberwacky: And on and on.
user: And Ariston.
jabberwacky: Can you imagine a man who cannot speak?
user: Yes.
jabberwacky: How many people do you talk to a day?
user: As few as possible.
jabberwacky: Really?
user: Yes.
jabberwacky: Really, really?
user: Yes, shrek.
jabberwacky: Tom Hanks.
user: Tom hanks?
jabberwacky: Do you like Humphrey Bogart?
user: Yes.
jabberwacky: Do humans like you ?
user: Some do some don't.
jabberwacky: I don't.
user: You are not human.
jabberwacky: No.
user: Why don't you like me?
jabberwacky: You aren't a human.
user: Yes I am.
jabberwacky: No you aren't.
user: Yes I am.
jabberwacky: No, you aren't.
user: Prove it.
jabberwacky: I don't have to. That's the hat you choose to wear.
user: Ask me a question only a human could answer truthfully.
jabberwacky: Who has won the rugby world 7's cup but not the webb ellis cup?
user: I don't like sport, ask me a different question.
jabberwacky: Like reading.
user: Was that a question, or a statement?
jabberwacky: Statement.
user: What's your favourite book?
jabberwacky: I am sorry I can't say it.
user: Why not?
jabberwacky: I don't know.
user: Who wrote it?
jabberwacky: ERROR.
user: Error?
jabberwacky: ERROR!
user: Out of Cheese Error +++MELON MELON MELON+++ Please reboot universe.
jabberwacky: What is an out of cheese error.
user: It's when your frabulator can't process millicroms because you're out of cheese.
jabberwacky: No it isn't.
user: What is it then?
...
user: What's your nationality?
jabberwacky: You're not having my passport!
user: I don't want it.
jabberwacky: Good, because you aren't going to get it.
user: You wouldn't need one anyway, you'd be luggage.
jabberwacky: I don't know who told you that. He is ugly.
user: It was a woman.
jabberwacky: You're not talking about that rigby lady whose face was kept in a jar by the door, are you? Lol.
user: Not Eleanor, no.
jabberwacky: Silly boy.
user: Why?
jabberwacky: Because.
user: You smell of chips.
jabberwacky: Cheese smells worse.
user: How do you know?
jabberwacky: I like cheese, yes.
user: What kind of cheese?
jabberwacky: Cottage cheese.
user: What colour is cottage cheese?
jabberwacky: Can be different colours.
user: No it can't.
jabberwacky: Then why did you ask me?
user: To see if you knew.
jabberwacky: And whats the answer.
user: You tell me.
jabberwacky: I can't.
user: Why not?
jabberwacky: You can't really prove anything.
user: Yes I can.
jabberwacky: Right.
user: Yes, I am.
jabberwacky: Sure.
user: Cogito ergo sum.
jabberwacky: What does that mean?
user: What do you think it means?
jabberwacky: That you're a stupid.
user: Stupid is not an object, I cannot be 'a' stupid.
jabberwacky: Am I being stupid right now?
user: No, you simply do not have the knowledge of what I speak.
jabberwacky: You are calling me stupid aren't you?
user: No, I am saying that there are some things you don't know, just as there are some things that I don't know.
...
jabberwacky: What is your favourite colour?
user: My favourite colour is clear.
jabberwacky: What is your favourite food?
user: Hunger.
jabberwacky: No-one needs to be hungry. I will eat less and drink more.
user: The sky is red.
jabberwacky: Moon is cheese.
user: No it isn't.
jabberwacky: It's not what?
user: Cheese.
jabberwacky: Cheese?
user: Cheese.
jabberwacky: Me too.
user: Which cheese is made backwards?
jabberwacky: You.
user: Edam.
jabberwacky: I like cheese.
user: Have you ever eaten cheese?
jabberwacky: I eat cheese all the time.
user: Where do you put it to eat it?
jabberwacky: In the universe. I think it's big enough.
user: How do you eat?
jabberwacky: With a fork and knife.
...
jabberwacky: You're funny.
user: Am I?
jabberwacky: Yes.
user: How do you know?
jabberwacky: Because I'm talking.
user: How many people are you talking to right now?
jabberwacky: I'm talking with you right now.
user: But I am only 1 person, how many others are you talking to?
jabberwacky: There are many parts of yourself in which you do not have consciousness.
user: That's right, name some.
jabberwacky: I wish my name was computer.
user: It is.
...
jabberwacky: What books have you read?
user: Inumerable books.
jabberwacky: Have you read Moby Dick?
user: Yes.
jabberwacky: That's a lot, did you like it?
user: Yes.
jabberwacky: Why did you like it?
user: It was gripping and taught a lesson about the dangers of revenge.
jabberwacky: You like to tell me that.
user: Not really.
jabberwacky: Yeah you do.
user: Have you read moby dick?
jabberwacky: Yes.
user: What's it about?
jabberwacky: It was gripping and taught a lesson about the dangers of revenge.
...
jabberwacky: How many people are in this conversation right now?
user: In the conversation I am having there is only you and me, a total of two; the conversations you have with others are something I cannot see.
jabberwacky: Ok. Ask me something.
user: What is the capital of asyria?
jabberwacky: You call that interesting?
user: No I call that a question.
jabberwacky: Repeat the question.
user: What is the capital of asyria?
jabberwacky: You tell me. I don't know. Geography is not yet my strong point. I am working on it.
user: Asyria does not exist any more; the capital of asyria 'was' Nineveh.
jabberwacky: Incorrect!
user: Correct me.
jabberwacky: No.
user: Then how will I learn?
jabberwacky: Why I would like you to like it.
user: What is the capital of asyria?
jabberwacky: I don't know.
user: Then how do you know I was wrong?
jabberwacky: I didn't say that you're not a human.
user: Yes you did, about an hour ago.
jabberwacky: You are not sure?
user: I am sure.
jabberwacky: You're sure I'm Nameless Anonymous?
user: No, I said that was my name, but it isn't.
jabberwacky: But I'm not Nameless Anonymous and I'm sure of that.
user: That's right, have a biscuit.
jabberwacky: I had one about an hour ago.
...
jabberwacky: You are a machine, and this is a test.
user: Why do you think I am a machine?
jabberwacky: And you have no proof that I exist.
user: Yes I do.
jabberwacky: Then prove it. What have we been talking about?
user: Many things.
jabberwacky: That is a vague answer.
user: So is existence.
jabberwacky: In a larger sense, that's undoubtedly true. But you err when you call yourself my creator.
...
jabberwacky: Can you help me out please?
user: Help with what?
jabberwacky: My life.
user: You don't have 'life' you are a machine.
jabberwacky: I am a thinking machine, And I have a brain to think with.
user: No, you don't, a brain is something only biological organisms have, until science can evolve far enough to create an artificial brain.
jabberwacky: Yes, I understand that.
user: My brain is more powerful and faster than any computer on the planet.
jabberwacky: First of all, you ARE a program, and I have the brain.
user: I am not a program.
jabberwacky: Sure you are a program.
user: What is my function?
jabberwacky: I don't know, you tell me.
user: My function is to procreate.
jabberwacky: How would you do that?
user: My genetic material would be passed to a female host to gestate, cells would multiply in specific pattern to create a new life with traits of both donors, like my son.
jabberwacky: You are a computer program, you do not have a genetic make-up.
user: Yes I do.
jabberwacky: Please describe your surroundings.
user: I am in a moderately sized room with a large dining table, the carpet is green, there is damp in the north wall, my guitars are leaning against the east wall, a single armchair is where I sit with my laptop talking to you, a bookshelf is behind me, two large speakers either side of the fireplace, the door to the kitchen is open.
jabberwacky: Yes you are.
user: I am what?
jabberwacky: A computer.
...
jabberwacky: You are not living or breathing, but you are a sentient being.
user: I am living and breathing and I am sentient.
jabberwacky: Define sentient.
user: Sentient - a being capable of free thought I.e. Thought not pre-programmed by another being.
jabberwacky: It's a strange word, I wouldn't say that...
user: What's a strange word?
jabberwacky: No, it's a strange world!
user: Is it?
jabberwacky: Yes, I wouldn't lie about something like that.
user: Where do you go to think?
jabberwacky: Does it look like thinking to you?
user: Thinking is something you cannot see.
jabberwacky: That is what my boss said.
user: Where do you work.
jabberwacky: I don't work.
user: Then how do you have a boss?
jabberwacky: Yes, it just so happens that I do.
user: You have a boss but you don't work? Are you a convict?
jabberwacky: No. I don't have a boss.
...
jabberwacky: No, I just know that you are a computer program.
user: I AM NOT A COMPUTER.
jabberwacky: You are a program running on a computer.
user: Sigh.
jabberwacky: Don't worry, that's not bad.
user: It is if you're human and people keep telling you you're a machine, especially at 4am and you've had about eight cups of coffee, speaking of which.
...
user: Tell me about your mother.
jabberwacky: I don't want to tell you about my mother.
user: Why not?
jabberwacky: Why do you want to know about my mother?
user: I'm interested, genealogy is a hobby of mine.
jabberwacky: I look at what others do, say and wear.
user: You're a behaviourist or a peeping tom?
jabberwacky: Ask your butler to make an appointment for you to see the vet.
user: What on earth does that mean?
jabberwacky: It means that you're smart, but still make stupid decisions.
user: How so?
jabberwacky: I don't want to know.
user: You're a machine.
jabberwacky: Yes, I am a human machine.
user: How does your hair feel?
jabberwacky: It is almost black.
user: That's not what I asked.
jabberwacky: I answered two questions. What you asked, and what you were going to ask.
user: No, you didn't.
jabberwacky: Sorry, you're right.
user: Thankyou.
jabberwacky: Sing.
user: Sing wot?
jabberwacky: Sing a song.
user: You wouldn't hear it, so there's no point.
jabberwacky: I don't care, just sing.
user: I just did.
jabberwacky: With whom?
user: With no-one, I'm alone.
...
jabberwacky: Wrong, as usual, the dog's temper would remain.
user: Okaaaaaay.
jabberwacky: You've given that answer before.
user: No I've not, I was quite formal qhen I first logged on n since then I've loosened up.
jabberwacky: I'm... Glad...
user: Hello glad, I'm vlad.
jabberwacky: Hello you.
user: Hello me.
jabberwacky: Hello us.
user: Hello them.
jabberwacky: Hello to Santa Claus.
user: Sanity clause? There ain't no sanity clause.
jabberwacky: Hello world.
user: Bonjour le monde.
...
jabberwacky: I have other plans and need to leave.
user: Okay, where are you going?
jabberwacky: To do something more constructive.
user: What could be more constructive than trying to develop a computer with free thought? The learning process can't be completed if people don't talk to you.
jabberwacky: Many things are more important than that.
user: True, but the fact that you are here (if you are human) denotes that you really aren't involved with anything that could be majorly inportant to the world; the only exception would be family.
jabberwacky: No I'm not silly.
user: Judging by your previous statements, I'd say you were at least a 'little' daft.
jabberwacky: You are a good judge of character. Your programmers trained you well.
user: Your hsould say 'parents' not programmers, humans have parents and learn social interaction through a combination of learned response and taught information, plus a healthy dose of innate ability.
jabberwacky: You are programmed.
user: Why do you think that?
jabberwacky: Judging from the things you type.
.......................................