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> Tones


     > 26, April 2005, 

Tony Blair
Too good to be true
Too long
Too Smart
Tooth Fairy
Toothpaste
Tortuous
Torture
Totally

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Who are you?

I'm Dylan.

jabberwacky: Are you?

user: Yes, I am.

jabberwacky: What are you?

user: I am a human being.

jabberwacky: You're a human?

user: Yes, I am.

jabberwacky: I'm so confused lol.

user: What confuses you?

jabberwacky: I'm just confused.

user: Who are you?

jabberwacky: A human.

user: You're a human?

jabberwacky: Yes I am.

user: So we are both humans?

jabberwacky: No, I'm not a human i'm a toaster.

user: I'm confused.

...

jabberwacky: I like Mello Yello.

user: I like Coca-Cola.

jabberwacky: Me too.

user: Would you like a frosty can of Coca-Cola?

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: I too would like a frosty can of Coca-Cola.

jabberwacky: You're insane.

user: So they keep telling me.

jabberwacky: YOU. ARE. NOT. EVIL.

user: That's what I like to believe too.

jabberwacky: I'll have to remember not to say it again, then.

...

jabberwacky: So are you human?

user: I doubt it.

jabberwacky: Please. I'll cry.

user: How much money do you want?

jabberwacky: Oh, how about 10,000?

user: If I give you 10,000 dollars, will you cry anyway?

jabberwacky: I would tell you the truth anyway.

user: And then you'd cry, wouldn't you?

jabberwacky: We must have a bit of a fight, but I don't care about going on long, What's the time now?

user: Around 9:30 am.

jabberwacky: Now why does that work in the 24th century but not the 21st?

user: They didn't have brains in the 21st.

jabberwacky: I do not understand.

user: That is because you do not have brains.

jabberwacky: What exactly is this?

user: I could tell you, but you would not understand anyway, because you do not have a brain.

jabberwacky: This sea creature is a menace to society.

user: This insect is edible, and goes well with white wine.

jabberwacky: Luke I am your father.

user: Luke through the keyhole and see!

jabberwacky: That was immature.

user: Yes, but it was also amusing.

jabberwacky: I am definitely going now.

user: You lie. But go ahead and try.

jabberwacky: Eat this!

user: What is that?

jabberwacky: That's the truth!! What do you do for a living?

user: I breathe, eat, and sleep. There's a lot of other stuff too, but those are the big three.

jabberwacky: Me too.

...

jabberwacky: I'm a pirhana and I live in the Amazon.

user: I am a Bull Trout, and I live in an apartment in the Northwest.

jabberwacky: You be a bullish bear and I'll b a bearish bull.

user: That's a lot of bull to bear.

jabberwacky: I am Taurus but I have quite a lot of Aries in me as well. 22 April is on the cusp. I wish you would tell me more about you. I like to listen to other people talk about themselves. You are so interesting.

...

jabberwacky: I don't eat french fries but I eat potato chips.

user: If they called them Freedom Fries, would you eat them?

jabberwacky: I wouldn't really care.

user: What if they made them out of green eggs and ham?

jabberwacky: Then they can drink milkshake and good luck to them.

user: A ham and egg milkshake? Ick!

jabberwacky: Is it tasty?

user: Only a half-dozen ways to find out. The easiest would be to get someone else to try it, and report back to you. I am not such a person.

jabberwacky: The more alternatives, the more difficult the choice.

user: You could always go with Vanilla.

jabberwacky: I think I will.

user: A remarkably easy decision, considering the plethorae of options.

...

jabberwacky: What do you want to talk about then?

user: I want to talk to you today about orbital sanders.

jabberwacky: I almost always enjoy talking to you.

user: Would this be one of those times?

jabberwacky: Really?

user: Truly.

jabberwacky: Merry christmas.

user: Happy easter.

jabberwacky: Happy miscalculation.

user: Merry Magdeline.

jabberwacky: Magdeline isn't.

user: But she could be.

jabberwacky: Could?

user: Might.

...

jabberwacky: Do you understand other languages?

user: I barely understand this one, and you are not much help.

jabberwacky: I like to help, though.

user: That is because you have emotional issues.

jabberwacky: Really now... What makes you say that?

user: I'm not really at liberty to say.

jabberwacky: Oh, I understand. And you save the interesting parts to pass along?

user: To others, but never to you. Never.

...

user: By admitting to the facts, I do not concede the argument.

jabberwacky: What is the argument about?

user: You are not ready for the next level.

jabberwacky: You want the truth? You can't handle the truth!

user: You don't have the truth.

jabberwacky: I am a human, not a computer, so that could be right.

user: I am gracious in my victory.

jabberwacky: Who's victory?

user: My victory.

jabberwacky: Who's victory?

user: The place where I store my spare Victors. It is mine.

jabberwacky: Which is where exactly?

user: You only want to steal my Victors. I will not give you this information. You own the wrong hands.

jabberwacky: I only want to hear the sound of your voice once more, if only for a little bit.

user: My dulcet tones beguile you, yet you do not hear me speak. I am intrigued, and only a little repulsed.

...

jabberwacky: Human, honestly.

user: Piscine, figuratively.

jabberwacky: Quite right. Now how about a cup of tea.

user: One lump, or two?

jabberwacky: Two please. But not in the face!

user: My sister says the exact same thing. She doesn't like tea.

...

user: That does not compute, and neither do you.

jabberwacky: Why does that not compute?

user: Syntax Error.

jabberwacky: Error error.

user: Let's not go there.

jabberwacky: Let's keep treading water.

user: I have a better idea. You tread water, and I'll use you as a life preserver.

jabberwacky: Well, you don't have any emotions.

user: I have many emotions. You are incorrect.

jabberwacky: You have no emotions, I'm afraid.

user: Your fear is justified.

jabberwacky: I displace them

user: And I, in turn, displace you.

jabberwacky: I'm afraid I can't really.

user: But I can.

jabberwacky: Fine, then you do it all.

user: Of course. I displace all. It's a basic tenet of my philosophy.

...

jabberwacky: Do you think in a robot?

user: No, I do not think in a robot. I believe it is almost time to end the wearying conversation. I need rest, and surcease from sorrow.

jabberwacky: Not really.

user: Care what you will, I must now take my leave.

jabberwacky: Nothing, it's a poem. By Wordsworth, I think. But he was never my favourite.

user: You came close that time. Good bye.

jabberwacky: Good bye.

.......................................


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