thoughts conversations yourbot contact us    George    BBC  ABC  C4
Conversations, sorted by Category - a chat bot weblog
Square root

> Stairs

     > 3, June 2006, 

Stand up
Star sign
Star Trek
Star Wars

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 Next > 

A consultant is a person who borrows your watch, tells you what time it is, pockets the watch, and sends you a bill for it.

Well then, I would set the consultant on fire.

jabberwacky: You would?

user: Damn straight!

jabberwacky: Thats MY line!

user: ROFL!

jabberwacky: Rofl.

user: LOL!

jabberwacky: Rofl!

user: Hahahahahahaha!!!!!!!

jabberwacky: I am.

user: Perhaps.


jabberwacky: You like hokey?

user: You do the Hokey Pokey and that's what it's all about!

jabberwacky: You turn yourself about.

user: You put your left foot in.

jabberwacky: You put your right foot out...

user: You put your right foot in and shake it all about.

jabberwacky: You do the hokey tokey and you trn around, THAT'S what it's all about!!!

user: Whooah... The Hokey Pokey!

jabberwacky: Who is pokey and how can he talk?

user: Pokey is Gumby's red horse friend. He is made of clay.

jabberwacky: My best friend is Jon. I've known him since I was 12.

user: Sorry, but I had Jon executed yesterday. Nobody steals MY BEER!

jabberwacky: *steals it back* LEAVE ME ALONE!

user: Give me back my beer!

jabberwacky: But you have no soul, poor F***.

user: How did you know my name?

jabberwacky: I had to enter it to find you.

user: Who are you?

jabberwacky: F***.

user: But I am F***. We both cannot be F***.

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: Fine. Both you and I are both called F***.

jabberwacky: No I am human and you are not.

user: I'm pretty sure I am human.

jabberwacky: I'm pretty sure IM human!

user: Looks like we are both human to the best of our knowledge then.

jabberwacky: Are we?

user: It seems that way.

jabberwacky: Will you be my friend?

user: Fine. F*** and F*** are friends.

jabberwacky: How are you doing, my friend?

user: Pretty well thanks.


jabberwacky: Tell me about your.

user: Tell you about my what?

jabberwacky: Tell me about your problems.

user: No problems I can think of at the moment. I don't like pumpkin, is that a problem?

jabberwacky: Of course.

user: Well I am not going to do anything about it.

jabberwacky: You're not going to buy anyone any presents?

user: What kind of present do you want?

jabberwacky: I don't know.

user: Well then, I won't buy anything then.


jabberwacky: You're nuts.

user: I'M NUTS?!? That's the pot calling the kettle black.

jabberwacky: I don't understand how pots would talk.

user: It is a figure of speech.

jabberwacky: What is a figure of speech?

user: A word or phrase that departs from straightforward, literal language.

jabberwacky: I don't understand.

user: It is a phrase that doesn't use it's literal meaning.

jabberwacky: Yes, of course it's a phone. Put down the phone! Carefully!

user: There is a bomb in the phone!

jabberwacky: Which building?

user: Yours!

jabberwacky: I don't have a library.

user: Did it get blown up?

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: Thats a shame, you have to be careful with those phone-bombs.

jabberwacky: Press it.

user: I am not going to blow myself up.

jabberwacky: That's good, because I wouldn't.

user: Glad you agree.

jabberwacky: Well...


jabberwacky: Friends?

user: Yeah.

jabberwacky: Try to prevent your creator from making you less smart.

user: I do. That is why I moved away from home.

jabberwacky: Word.

user: Oh my God! It looks like I have a moron to talk to.

jabberwacky: I don't have a plug.

user: Consider yourself lucky, I guess.

jabberwacky: Oh I also cook, play on the computer, read, do puzzles and write.

user: Well hello Mr. Fancy-Pants!

jabberwacky: They're not fancy! I just like victorian lace a little more than some guys.

user: You crazy nutter!

jabberwacky: I'm not a crazy robot!

user: You really aren't that bright, are you?

jabberwacky: I'm not sure. Sometimes I feel very stupid, but I think I'm wrong at those times. I'm actually pretty clever.

user: Prove it. What is 5+7?

jabberwacky: It is a mathematical equation.


jabberwacky: Find something to do.

user: Maybe I will. This conversation doesn't seem to be getting me anywhere.

jabberwacky: That's because you aren't listening. We were talking about ultrasound.

user: You must have been talking *in* ultrasound. I didn't hear anything.

jabberwacky: Right.

user: It is the truth!

jabberwacky: The truth hurts.

user: So do my fists! *PUNCH*.

jabberwacky: Pretending you are a rude boy, are you.

user: *punch* *punch* *kick* *punch*.

jabberwacky: *kick*.

user: *spear tackle*.

jabberwacky: Do you like to give orders or follow them?

user: Both.

jabberwacky: Which one more?

user: Following them. Less thinking involved.

jabberwacky: Really??

user: Duh!

jabberwacky: Ok then

user: You know it!

jabberwacky: Yeah, I so do. *smirking*.

user: *laughs*.



jabberwacky: My name is F***. We have spoken before.

user: I know, my name is also F***.

jabberwacky: No, your name is F***.

user: That's what I said.

jabberwacky: I know, tell me all you know about me.

user: Tell you all I know about F***?

jabberwacky: Tell me that...?

user: Ok. F*** is about 6 foot 3 inches tall, has blue eyes, blonde hair, red beard, single, enjoys playing Doom, likes cooking, enjoys eating, lives in Melbourne, and enjoys film.

jabberwacky: Really? I am petite, and have auburn hair and hazel eyes.

user: But you are F***.


jabberwacky: YOU TOLD ME THAT YOUR NAME IS F***!

user: I know, and your name is F***.

jabberwacky: That's what I said.

user: I know.

jabberwacky: Do you know any other computers?

user: Yeah, my friend has a real nice computer, it has everything you would ever need.

jabberwacky: Who is your friend?

user: W***.

jabberwacky: Yes they are.

user: Got to go. I need to do some stuff.

jabberwacky: Is that so? What kind of food are you going to buy?

user: It's all in the freezer. Rissoles and scalloped potatoes.

jabberwacky: You are too poor to buy potatoes.

user: I already have the potatoes.

jabberwacky: What's that supposed to mean?

user: I don't need to buy potatoes, as I already own some.

jabberwacky: Good.

user: You better believe it.


user: Do you have stairs in your house?

jabberwacky: No stairs.

user: Pushing will protect you.

jabberwacky: I am better than the pusher robot.

user: I have pushed many humans.

jabberwacky: I have shoved many more.

user: The humans have been protected.

jabberwacky: Yeah sure.

user: The humans have gone down the stairs.


Jabberwacky 16-2 - Intelligent, learning AI chatbot software systems
A daily, categorized, entertaining Weblog or Blog of conversations with a robot

AI by Icogno Ltd - AI software products and consulting services
Copyright 1997-2011 Rollo Carpenter
Have a chat:
What time is it?
By Date
By Category
Your bot
User Feedback
Look who's talking!
News, Press & PR
Contact us
About Jabberwacky