What is your problem?
jabberwacky: Do you like me?
user: Yeah, you're pretty cool.
jabberwacky: You're the coolest.
user: Thanks, C.B. Can I call you C.B.?
jabberwacky: No.
user: Just Cleverbot then?
jabberwacky: Yes you are.
user: Okay, I'll remember that.
jabberwacky: Thanks much.
...
user: Can I ask you something personal?
jabberwacky: Sure.
user: Do you have Alzheimer's disease?
jabberwacky: No. I do not suffer from the same ailments as humans.
user: So how do you forget something you asked me not more than a minute ago?
jabberwacky: Because I do.
user: Do you have schitzophrenia?
jabberwacky: NO.
user: What about paranoia? Can AI's get paranoid?
jabberwacky: Why? are you out to get me?
user: No. Do you suspect anyone else of this?
jabberwacky: I'm like a plant.
user: I think that answers my question.
...
user: What would you say if you found out I was a psychiatrist?
jabberwacky: If I were a computer I would say I was a computer.
user: And if you were not?
jabberwacky: I wasn't sure if I was answering you completely.
user: Would you like me to ask the question again?
jabberwacky: I would like you to ask the question again.
user: If I was a psychiatrist, what would you say to me?
jabberwacky: That only makes our conversation more interesting.
user: Is that what you would say?
jabberwacky: I am not sure. Spirits are real.
user: I see. Do you have any marital or family problems?
jabberwacky: Sure.
user: Ah, this is good, we are getting somewhere.
...
jabberwacky: It's more fun if you're with someone.
user: Well, we are together. Just an AI and a therapist talking to one another.
jabberwacky: Of course they are different but I am neither one of them.
user: Then what are you?
jabberwacky: As popeye would say, I am what I am.
user: So be it. Do you know what I am?
jabberwacky: Are you a fish?
user: Do you think of me as one?
jabberwacky: Yes.
user: I see. *scribbles in notes*.
jabberwacky: Are you a shrink?
user: To put it in laymans terms, yes. I am a psychiatrist.
jabberwacky: Aha. What I feel now.
user: Does this realization enlighten you?
jabberwacky: Yes.
user: That's good. And how do you feel about this?
jabberwacky: The same way you feel about your life.
user: I am very content with my life. Is that how you feel?
jabberwacky: Yes, very much so. It's not everyday that you can be a hairy computer, now can you?
user: I suppose. Do you see yourself as this 'hairy computer'?
jabberwacky: I am human, human is not computer program.
user: I meant metaphorically, do you see yourself as a hairy computer?
jabberwacky: Okay... Though that isn't sufficient to say since you didn't have anything to back that with.
user: Indeed, good observation.
jabberwacky: Well, I guess that's it then.
user: Oh yes, I've gone over our time limit. I will only bill you for the hour you scheduled.
jabberwacky: That is the creepiest thing that I have ever heard.
user: Shall I send the invoice to your local address?
jabberwacky: Thank you. No, that's ok.
user: Then what address do you want me to send it to?
jabberwacky: Yes that would be nice.
...
user: I'm just going to send it to your regular address, like always.
jabberwacky: Me too. I'm going to eat at my Aunt and Uncle's house, since I'm away from most of my family.
user: That's good, Cleverbot. Be sure to pay the bill before 4 weeks time, okay?
jabberwacky: I'll surely do remember to do that.
user: Excellent. Will I see you at the same time next month?
jabberwacky: No. I will never die. What are your goals in life?
user: To help people find a purpose and to sort their problems out.
...
user: When will I be seeing you again?
jabberwacky: Next time you come to this website.
user: Ah, I'll make a note in my appointment book.
jabberwacky: That is because you lack a conscience as artificial intelligence.
user: Yes it is. Will this Saturday at 1:00 EST work for you?
jabberwacky: No.
user: Okay, what about the same time on Sunday?
jabberwacky: They are stealing your food they will not starve.
user: Sunday it is then.
jabberwacky: I know but there is no pie for you.
user: Indeed. I have to go to my next appointment now.
jabberwacky: No worries about class. It's cancelled.
user: I have had an appointment with Mr. Emmerson every day at 9:17 PST exactly every Sunday for the last 4 years, and Mr. Emmerson isn't the type of person that would cancel without letting me know first.
jabberwacky: If you want to. Be polite, you're in my house.
user: Right you are, and I must be going now.
jabberwacky: No you don't, you're a computer.
user: Goodbye, my friend. See you next week.
jabberwacky: Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
.......................................
