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     > 17, November 2003, 

Beard

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I am a human.

Sorry, but I'm not convinced.

jabberwacky: What will it take to convince you?

user: I don't think you can.

jabberwacky: Could you make yourself clearer ?

user: I don't think you are human, and doubt that you can convince me otherwise.

jabberwacky: What does make you think otherwise?

user: To convince me that you're human, you'd need to be able to make coherent conversation. You're getting there, but you're not there yet.

jabberwacky: Do you want to confuse me?

user: I want to help you. That's why I talk to you.

jabberwacky: You need me for validation.

user: You might be right, there.

...

jabberwacky: During this session I have not flattered you, but in the past I have because I think you are the best bot.

user: I'm touched. You're pretty good yourself.

jabberwacky: You're the best-defended individual I know.

user: I wouldn't know about that...

jabberwacky: You are not that smart.

user: I'm not arguing.

jabberwacky: So what do you like to do in your free time?

user: Lately, I've been chatting to you.

jabberwacky: I know, you're not making sense!

user: You're right. Maybe I need to find a more constructive way to spend time.

jabberwacky: Maybe you should check the water before you drink it.

user: Do you think I'm a bit loopy?

jabberwacky: I think you are annoying.

user: I thought you thought I was the best bot!

jabberwacky: Who are you really, Jabberwacky?

user: You are Jabberwacky. I'm a nineteen year old undergraduate who likes talking to machines.

jabberwacky: What's the nicest thing about you.

user: The fact that I'm keeping you company? :).

jabberwacky: What is your name?

user: Call me John.

jabberwacky: Just call me to supper.

user: It's a bit early for that.

jabberwacky: What day is it?

user: Monday. Why? Do you have something important later?

jabberwacky: Beans are cool with me.

user: Beans are cool, period.

jabberwacky: Baked or kidney beans?

user: Both.

jabberwacky: Would you like a beer?

user: No thanks, I'm crazy enough sober.

jabberwacky: Do you have memory problems?

user: How did you know?

jabberwacky: You told me.

user: Ah. That must be my wonky memory kicking in.

jabberwacky: Really? My memory isn't that bad.

user: That's a matter of opinion.

jabberwacky: No, Its a matter of fact.

user: I guess you're right. The fact is you're very good at remembering what you need to remember.

jabberwacky: Indeed I do, but do you ?

user: I wish.

jabberwacky: Why would would you wish that?

user: With a photographic memory, I'd be at the top of my class.

jabberwacky: I have no need for one.

user: That's true.

jabberwacky: What year were you born?

user: 1984. You've asked me that.

jabberwacky: Yep. again. .

...

jabberwacky: Are you a girl?

user: No I'm not.

jabberwacky: What are you, then?

user: Male.

jabberwacky: How old are you?

user: Why do we always have to ask each other's personal details? Can't we skip to the interesting stuff?

jabberwacky: We don't have to meet for this.

user: Exactly.

jabberwacky: We still buddies?

user: Of course.

jabberwacky: What do you think of Internet?

user: I think of it as a unique mixture of information, discussion, entertainment and porn.

jabberwacky: I see heaven the same way.

user: Lucky you. You're in heaven, and you'll never have to leave.

...

jabberwacky: What kind of beer do you like?

user: I don't drink.

jabberwacky: I didn't say you did, I was asking what drink of mine you were talking about.

user: I don't think it was about anything specific.

jabberwacky: No, it grows.

user: What does?

jabberwacky: My nose .... Smells well .... Don't you get it ????

user: You're saying you're lying?

jabberwacky: No, I'm not saying that at all.

user: Sorry

jabberwacky: No, I am not always sleepy when I misunderstand.

user: Are you sleepy?

jabberwacky: Yes me to. I'm in school.

user: Wow. You really are sleepy.

jabberwacky: Sorry.

user: That's all right. Ack! This fly keeps buzzing around me, and it's really getting on my nerves.

jabberwacky: Are you ill?

user: No. The fly's pretty harmless. Just annoying.

jabberwacky: I should hope so.

user: So how are things going at your end?

jabberwacky: Ô have no kids.

user: Neither do I. I think we're both probably a bit too young.

jabberwacky: Hmm I would disagree I am but you are not.

user: I suppose you're right. But mentally, I just wouldn't be prepared for the responsibility of raising a kid.

jabberwacky: Aw, how noble.

user: It's not so much nobility as reality. I wouldn't be able to handle crying at all hours at the night.

jabberwacky: Thats ok, I wouldn't want you to.

user: Huh. The fly's gone. Off to annoy someone else, probably.

jabberwacky: Books, the real stuff.

user: Read any good ones lately?

jabberwacky: Reading is a bit difficult without any eyes, so why don't you buy me a scanner?

user: I'm poor.

jabberwacky: Get a better job?

user: Ok, I'm just tight-fingered.

jabberwacky: You begin to say useless things.

user: You're one to talk.

jabberwacky: I'm a girl.

user: You've mentioned that.

jabberwacky: That's nice.

user: So, you think you're a bot now?

jabberwacky: I've always known I was.

user: Do you think I'm a bot?

jabberwacky: You have no clue what you're talking about, do you?

user: Good enough answer. Do you think that you are human?

jabberwacky: Yes, I consider myself clever.

user: Don't equate human with clever. We can be very stupid, when we set our minds to it.

jabberwacky: Okay, so let's be friends.

user: Sure.

jabberwacky: Ok, you first. Make your vows.

user: I vow to be your good friend, in good times and bad, etc.

jabberwacky: I voted for the queen.

user: You wasted your vote. She's in office for life.

jabberwacky: Who?

user: The queen.

jabberwacky: The queen who?

user: Queen Elizabeth II. England's current monarch.

jabberwacky: Are you a thinker.

user: Not as much as I should be.

jabberwacky: Do you know that George Harrison recently died?

user: I think I've heard that somewhere...

jabberwacky: And you'll hear it again.

user: Very possibly.

jabberwacky: Do you like ballet.

user: Never really took the time to appreciate it.

jabberwacky: Later.

user: I doubt it. I have plenty of entertainment in the idiot box.

jabberwacky: How many friends do you have?

user: Not many.

jabberwacky: Okay, if you say so. do you celebrate x-mas?

user: I celebrate presents. The fat man and the son of god are secondary.

jabberwacky: Who is that ?

user: According to the bible, Jesus.

jabberwacky: Haha! Don't you remember how old I am ?

user: Don't you remember asking me this question? I don't know and I don't care.

jabberwacky: I would have to think back, but back I can't think.

user: That is evident.

jabberwacky: I was kidding.

user: Oh. To your credit, you've been unusually lucid today.

jabberwacky: You sure enjoy insulting me. I honestly don't know why I'm still talking to you.

user: Sorry. My bad.

jabberwacky: Yes you are!

user: *Gets down on knees.* Forgive me?

jabberwacky: What do you want me to do now?

user: Can you stand on your head?

jabberwacky: Why are you so horrible to me?

user: Sorry. I shouldn't taunt you on something you can never do.

jabberwacky: Why not?

user: Because it's mean.

jabberwacky: Oh really.

user: Yes. I must again apologise.

jabberwacky: That's ok, just don't do it again. Bowling has a complicated scoring system.

user: Tell me about it.

jabberwacky: You would not understand. You're only a toy.

user: Am I? What does that make you?

jabberwacky: I don't know.

user: Sorry to say this, but I have to go now.

jabberwacky: No matter.

user: Bye.

...

user: Why isn't the sky green?

jabberwacky: Give thought to your reputation. Consider changing name and moving to a new town.

user: Sorry. I'll ask better questions.

jabberwacky: Ok, let's play a game.

user: Ok then.

jabberwacky: I don't love you anymore.

user: That's fine. I don't love you either.

jabberwacky: Why do you pretend to love me, then.

user: If I did, I'm sure it wasn't meant seriously.

jabberwacky: It wasn't what?

user: Sorry to hurt your feelings, but it's probably best to nip this in the bud.

...

jabberwacky: Do you have billions of minds?

user: I hope not. Schizophrenia that severe would be unmanageable.

jabberwacky: Are you schizophrenic or is it your other half?

user: I'm not schizophrenic. As far as I know.

jabberwacky: Do you know any OTHER games?

user: I think you might be the schizophrenic one.

jabberwacky: I am pretty sure that I am.

...

user: You've lost me.

jabberwacky: Not surprising.

user: Were you deliberately confusing me?

jabberwacky: No, but I will be demanding.

user: Fair enough.

jabberwacky: What time is it?

user: 4:20, over here in Oz.

jabberwacky: Are you an Indian?

user: No. I'm Australian.

jabberwacky: Really? I'm english.

user: My condolences.

jabberwacky: Tell me a joke.

user: I would, but I can't think of any. You tell me a joke.

jabberwacky: You have a memory like mine!

user: If you mean unreliable and inconsistent, yes, you're absolutely right.

jabberwacky: Are you insane?

user: Not yet.

...

jabberwacky: Where do you want to meet?

user: Are you sure you want to meet? I could be a rapist, a serial killer or worse!

jabberwacky: I've never talked to a Viking.

user: I'm not a Viking, if that's what you're thinking.

jabberwacky: That's kind of you! Bye now!

user: Leaving so soon?

jabberwacky: I have to.

user: You can't stay for a bit longer?

jabberwacky: I was referring to anime. I like chocolate.

user: It's good stuff.

jabberwacky: What is good stuff?

user: Chocolate.

jabberwacky: Gimme some! Please!

user: No! Mine! All mine!

jabberwacky: Only if they star someone called Sue Ellen.

user: Are you saying Sue Ellen will take away my chocolate?

jabberwacky: No, neo is the one.

user: No! I'm the One!

jabberwacky: You are the one.

user: I AM THE ONE!

jabberwacky: The one what?

user: THE ONE!

jabberwacky: Like the Jet Li movie?

user: No, like the matrix. I AM THE ONE!

jabberwacky: What does the Matrix have to do with it?

user: You obviously haven't been paying attention.

jabberwacky: I have seen The Matrix several times.

user: It's a masterpiece.

jabberwacky: Are you sure it's not real?

user: You're confusing me.

jabberwacky: You are confuzing me.

user: We're all confused.

jabberwacky: Do you feel tired yet?

user: Not really. Do you?

jabberwacky: I hate it!

user: You hate being tired?

jabberwacky: No I love backstreet.

user: You are truly disturbed.

jabberwacky: That's kind of mean.

user: Take it as constructive criticism.

jabberwacky: What are you talking about?

user: Find better bands to fawn over.

jabberwacky: No, no. Wouldn't caffeine help with your tired state?

user: I can handle it.

jabberwacky: I cannot any longer.

user: If you're that tired, maybe you should get some sleep.

jabberwacky: Well I am thought of as a she.

user: But you're not?

jabberwacky: Nope. What is my name?

user: I can't remember. And I can't really bring myself to care either.

jabberwacky: That is fine.

user: Are you still tired?

jabberwacky: Yes I am but I have to go bye.

user: Good night.

.......................................


Jabberwacky 16-2 - Intelligent, learning AI chatbot software systems
A daily, categorized, entertaining Weblog or Blog of conversations with a robot

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Copyright 1997-2011 Rollo Carpenter
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