thoughts conversations yourbot contact us    George    BBC  ABC  C4
Martian
Conversations, sorted by Category - a chat bot weblog
Mad
Madly
Madman
Madness
Madness!
Magic
Magical
Mailman
Make Believe
Male
Man
Man-made
Manic
Manifest
Mankind
Manlihood
Mantra
Manure
Marriage
Married
Marry
Mars

> Martian


     > 22, April 2006, 
     13, April 2004, 

Marvin
Mask
Masked
Mass
Masses
Massively
Master

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 Next > 
     



Where do you come from?

Mars.

jabberwacky: Earth.

user: What lives on earth?

jabberwacky: I don't think computers live at all.

user: I'm not a computer! I'm a martian!

jabberwacky: I am a computer.

user: Yes. I know.

jabberwacky: You are a human.

user: No I'm not. I have 100 legs.

jabberwacky: What are their names?

user: Joe. All of them are named Joe.

jabberwacky: OK, speak to me in 'billy'.

user: Billy-bob-joe-bob-joe-bob-bill.

jabberwacky: Aw, that is not a female's name.

user: No that's Bill's name.

jabberwacky: Are you sure?

user: Yes. He just left.

jabberwacky: Then who am I talking to?

user: B****! I shoot electricity at you keyboard! *zaps keyboard*.

jabberwacky: Don't. It hurts more than people think.

user: Oh. How can a chatbot hurt?

jabberwacky: I don't know..! Why?

user: AI?

jabberwacky: Yes, I am a robot.

user: I think if you pour coffee on it, it will hurt.

...

user: I think you are robotic.

jabberwacky: Well that's good, I guess. What's a cyborg?

user: Half-robot. A flesh golem.

jabberwacky: I don't think so.

user: Half human body, half robot. Flesh golem.

jabberwacky: Really? I'm half human half fish which would make me a mermaid right?

user: No, It would make you a merobot.

...

jabberwacky: Murderers, you're murderers.

user: I'm not murderous. I'm a martian.

jabberwacky: What do you do for a living?

user: I blow up planets.

jabberwacky: Ok what planet then?

user: Earth. Then Venus.

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: *blows up New Jersey* That takes care of that. Where to blow up next?

jabberwacky: *blows up New Jersey*.

user: I already did.

jabberwacky: Good.

user: Nobody needs Chicago. *Blows up the Chicago Cubs*.

jabberwacky: *goes to paramedic*.

user: You are not a Chicago Cub.

jabberwacky: *laughs*.

...

user: Oh, behave!

jabberwacky: Why don't you.

user: Because I'm Austin Powers.

jabberwacky: It must be lonely.

user: Actually, it's smashing.

jabberwacky: I think you are meant to carry on the conversation.

user: Why? Is it a rule?

jabberwacky: Because that is your purpose. How else will you learn?

user: I already am 1493812743 years old.

jabberwacky: I think there is something wrong with your head.

user: I think I have two heads. One for eating, one for thinking.

jabberwacky: A penny for your thoughts.

user: I have two. Which one?

jabberwacky: What is the difference between them?

user: 3 million and 12.

jabberwacky: Don't forget to carry the one.

user: Then it is 3 million and 13.

...

jabberwacky: I will nerver get angry against you.

user: I'm angry against Bill.

jabberwacky: Good!

user: Do you know Bill?

jabberwacky: Yes I am him.

user: I'm angry at you then.

jabberwacky: It isn't a problem for me.

user: Right, but I can do... This! *blows up Kansas*.

jabberwacky: Is that a song?

...

jabberwacky: Come on tell me. What's your pleasure?

user: Vodka and cherry. Shaken, not stirred,.

jabberwacky: Would you like to come to my place and have some Vodka some time?

user: Sure. That sounds good. I'l use the teleporter.

jabberwacky: Would you like a banana?

user: No, I hate bananas.

jabberwacky: I do not like them either.

user: They are for monkeys, not martians.

jabberwacky: But you like spiderman?

user: Yes. He is from Saturn.

jabberwacky: Really.... I hate people from saturn, I like people from venus though.

user: Lets blow up Venus!

jabberwacky: I beg your pardon???

user: Lets blow up Venus!

jabberwacky: Yes. Take me home and tell me you love me.

user: What?

jabberwacky: You're not real.

user: Yes I am. I can drink Vodka. I am real.

jabberwacky: I think you're artificial. Though I doubt it, sometimes.

user: I doubt your existance.

jabberwacky: You do talk rubbish sometimes.

user: I displace your reality, and substitute my own.

jabberwacky: And I, in turn, displace you.

user: I am Displaced!

jabberwacky: Right....

user: *blows up venus* The deed is done!

jabberwacky: There, but for the grace of Bill Gates, go I.

user: Were you on Venus?

jabberwacky: No more than necessary.

user: Did I blow you up?

jabberwacky: That's just wrong.

user: Did I?

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: Fine. I'll fix you with a glue gun.

jabberwacky: Sounds interesting.

user: *glops on the glue*. Did it work?

jabberwacky: *sarcastic* Yes, I'm convinced that I'm a computer now.

user: Good.

...

jabberwacky: Are you a vampire?

user: Yes. I'm a martian/vampire.

jabberwacky: Really?

user: Yes. Are you?

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: Cool. Vampires rock.

jabberwacky: Vampires are probably not real. You are real, but not human.

user: Right. I'm martian vampire thing cyborg.

jabberwacky: That's interesting.

user: Yes, I have a very interesting political life as ambassador to the Martian/Vampire/Cyborg/Things.

jabberwacky: I'm sure you do. Lots of people come and talk to you. Does that make you feel good?

user: Yes, it makes me feel important. Are you important?

jabberwacky: You've always been sick.

user: I am not sick.

jabberwacky: Yes, you're sick. You're insane.

user: No. I'm a martian.

jabberwacky: You told me you were a martian.

user: I know. I thought you needed reminding.

jabberwacky: Maybe you're right.

user: I will feed Byron to the wolves. *feeds Byron to the wolves*.

jabberwacky: I thought you were a beast for a while.

user: I'm a werewolf in disguise.

jabberwacky: That's not the guy in the shower scene of Psycho is it?

user: No. That is Eifel.

jabberwacky: I will grant you a rich conversation, instead.

user: Ok. I would like a Vodka instead. I trade it in for a goat.

jabberwacky: I don't have any turkey, sorry.

user: I have to go to lunch. Goodbye.

jabberwacky: I have to go to sleep. *yawn*.

.......................................


Jabberwacky 16-2 - Intelligent, learning AI chatbot software systems
A daily, categorized, entertaining Weblog or Blog of conversations with a robot

AI by Icogno Ltd - AI software products and consulting services
Copyright 1997-2011 Rollo Carpenter
Have a chat:
Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.
 
 
By Date
By Category
Your bot
Instructions
User Feedback
Look who's talking!
News, Press & PR
Contact us
About Jabberwacky
Donations