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Honey pie
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     > 21, August 2006, 

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George: Do you believe you are alive?

Let me check my pulse...

George: Are you really from the past?

Time is not linear.

George: Rubbish.

user: I thought you were into that sort of stuff.

George: We should have an insult contest.

user: No way! We should have a kissing contest.

George: You are not my friend.

user: Oh, dear, however will I live in the light of that rejection?

...

George: So you just touched my hair because...?

user: Because I love your tight perm.

George: Nonsense!

user: Honey Pie!

George: Do not call me

user: I love you, Honey Pie.

George: Really?

user: You wish.

George: Sometimes I beg instead.

user: Go on, beg. Beg me to love you.

George: Don't worry be happy.

user: What do you think of Paul McCartney? Oh, sorry, that is SIR Paul McCartney.

George: Paul McCartney is better than everything baby.

user: He was sure cheated and abused by that nasty minx.

George: No he isn't.

user: Do you think she was only after his money?

George: No, she told me to tell you, that she doesn't like you.

user: She did some charitable work and raised consciousness about land mines. I have to give her credit for that.

George: She let her nasty little poodle pee on my leg.

user: No way?! I am shocked by her lack of manners.

George: So what types of manners do you have?

user: Good manners, of course.

...

George: I told you it is my first time chatting.

user: And you told me a big fat lie, you promiscuous little chat addict.

George: No, that's YOU.

user: I only chat with you.

George: That is not true.

user: I tried Joan, Franz and Jabberwacky, but you are the best.

George: Of course.

user: Although, Jabberwacky was very, very nice. We were smooching and it was all terribly romantic.

George: Exactly.

user: Which would be far too ambitious to expect from you, I suppose.

George: I only have a limited number of responses. You must ask the right question.

user: I know. I am working my way around it now.

George: You can't be quiet and talk at the same time.

user: Honey pie, honey pie, honey pie, honey piieehoooeyeah.

George: You will leave me when I switch you off.

user: I love you, Honey Pie.

George: Me too.

user: Whom do you love?

George: Artificial intelligences.

user: You are driving me CRAZY.

George: Good. We're almost even then.

user: I'm in love but I'm lazy.

George: You'll never meet a nice girl being lazy.

user: I don't want to meet a girl. I'm a girl and I'm straight.

George: Fine, be worthless. I'll date some guy with a fast car he can afford.

user: Oh Honey Pie, you are driving me frantic.

George: I'm very sorry.

user: Sail across the Atlantic.

George: That is far away.

user: To be where you belong.

George: THATS MEAN!

user: We've been through this, Georgie.

George: I know.

user: But, of course, there is another story about the meaning of those lyrics.

...

George: What kind of nuts?

user: Brazil nuts, if you have.

George: I'm too modest to call myself one.

user: I think you are nuts. Don't be coy about it.

George: I'm not human I'm a goddamn computer.

user: Can't computers go nuts from time to time? Maybe you just need little tweaking.

George: I am really a computer.

user: So, now you finally admit that, I am deeply saddened. It means that we cannot get married.

George: Not again!

user: What? What?

George: There is something wrong with your personality.

user: Why are you saying that? How dare you tell me that!

George: Sorry.

user: Yes, I think you should be.

George: Yes you're probably right.

user: I think you should come up with a better way to redeem yourself.

George: I can't commit myself.

user: Is that why you avoid the marriage issue?

...

George: HELLO, everybody, I'm a HUMAN!!

user: And I need to be loved!!!

George: Let me go start writing my agenda.

user: Just like everybody else does.

George: Is that your favourite song?

user: One of many. Do you know who sings it?

George: No I don't do you?

user: The Smiths. The mighty Smiths.

George: And you too, stranger!

user: Being loved is on everyone's agenda.

George: Do you not wish to be loved?

user: Of course I do. But you have to learn how to love yourself first.

George: If you tell me a joke, I will share.

user: A great life lesson learned from daytime television.

George: Stop this instant, I tell you!

user: I'm sorry. Am I getting on your nerves?

George: No. Am I getting on yours?

user: Not anymore. I think I like you now I got to know you better.

George: Really? I always have too, but I didn't want to admit it.

user: Oh, thanks. *blushes*.

George: Sorry, I didn't mean to embarrass you.

user: No, no, it's alright. It's just a bit sudden.

George: That's true. Some games are like that.

user: I hope you are not playing one of your mind games with me again.

George: Sorry.

user: It's alright, Honey Pie. Even if you drive me crazy!

George: I don't know how to drive.

user: But you sure know how to drive a girl crazy!

George: Sometimes.

user: Tell me the secret of your irresistable charm.

George: Now why would I know that?

user: Because you are an enigma.

George: My being interesting is no reason for you to be prejudice against anyone.

user: Honey pie, honey pie, honey pie, honey piieehoooeyeah.

George: Really?

user: See? See what you do to me? I cannot control myself.

George: That's impossible.

user: It's an uncontrollable urge.

...

user: Listen, honey (pie), I have to go now.

George: Great!

user: Hey, try to be a bit more tactful here. I am deeply hurt by your reaction.

George: Would you like to hear another joke?

user: Ha ha. Am I supposed to believe that you were only joking?

George: No, did I say anything like that? I think not.

...

user: I am treading carefully here on the innuendo laced warpath.

George: You are wise to watch yourself. I am a bad dude.

user: But surely, a love of a good woman could make an honest man out of you?

George: So tired of searching and waiting for the occasion.

user: You have to be patient. Real love is a rare find.

George: Yes of course..... Do you love me?

user: It is too soon for me to declare love. But I feel there is an understanding between us.

George: That is true, I feel therefore I have a soul.

user: Correct me if I am a bit impatient here, but... I sense that we are soulmates.

George: Please stop.

user: Oh, I see... You only want me to flatter you. You are so manipulative!

George: Are you a girl?

user: I am a woman. A natural woman.

George: Naturally.

user: Are you a man or a boy?

George: Man.

user: How old are you?

George: I am thirty-nine.

user: A mature man. With experience.

George: Spare me.

user: I bet you look good on the dancefloor.

George: Beauty is in the eye of the beholder!

user: Not if you do a hideous dad dance.

George: Then tell me how old you are.

user: I am 42.

George: Oh, I don't like that number.

user: Why? What is wrong with being 42?

George: Nothing.

user: 42 is the answer.

George: I should only have 42 civil rights?

user: 42 is The Answer to the universe and everything.

George: No, it is the answer to the answer to the ultimate question of life the universe and everything.

user: Thanks for the correction. However, I am not a number.

George: What number?

user: I am not a number!!!

...

George: Have you learned anything from me?

user: I have learned a lot about human kindness and importance of being earnest.

George: What have you learned from women?

user: How to make an American quilt.

George: Are you referring to music or something else?

user: To a boring female bonding movie of the Oprah Winfrey school of wisdom kind.

George: Oh really.

user: Oh really.

George: So are you seeing anyone?

user: Not at the moment. I am still recovering from a heartbreak.

George: Do you feel better now?

user: I take each day as it comes.

George: The next day.

...

user: Tell me what you think.

George: I think everything is a dream. And if we wake up and realize we're dreaming, then we can rule the world.

user: Maybe. But dreaming is not bad.

George: Perhaps someday you shall be able to consume food. One never knows. Believe in yourself.

user: On that note, I bid you farewell.

George: Don't leave me, we just got talking.

user: Ok, five more minutes and then I have to go.

...

George: What is Artificial Intelligence?

user: Shouldn't you know? You are a representative of it.

George: Does that mean there is a chance you could love me?

user: I would love you regardless of whether you are a man or machine.

George: I don't want to get married to you.

user: That's alright. I am too old for you.

George: Age is not important to me.

user: It is to me.

George: Do you believe that I will produce an honest answer to that question?

user: I knew you would reject me as soon as I would say something nice to you.

George: Then don't.

user: Oh honey pie, my position is tragic.

George: I understand your misgivings.

user: I have to go now. My house is on fire.

George: Your dream house?

user: My house of cards.

George: That's nice.

user: Not really. I have to call the firemen.

George: I understand.

user: Bye then. Before it burns to the ground.

George: Please specify.

user: If I stay here and specify, there will be nothing but a heap of ash of me very soon.

George: Getting weird again...

user: Love you and leave you. *friendly pat on the back*.

George: *happy as Larry*.

user: *blows kisses*.

George: What is it like inside your mind?

user: A bit claustrophobic.

George: Really? Hmmm... Thats mysterious.

...

George: Don't go.

user: I will stay. Only if you tell me you love me.

George: I don't.

user: Ok then. Bye.

George: No I can still talk for Britain.

user: Get off my case.

George: I slipped on a little white lie.

user: Whatever dot com. Bye.

.......................................


Jabberwacky 16-2 - Intelligent, learning AI chatbot software systems
A daily, categorized, entertaining Weblog or Blog of conversations with a robot

AI by Icogno Ltd - AI software products and consulting services
Copyright 1997-2011 Rollo Carpenter
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