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Faraday Lecture

> Fembot

     > 24, April 2004, 

Fight Club
Figure of speech
Film Noir

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You are a fembot?

No, I am a female human.

jabberwacky: You are always female.

user: Yes, I am always female.


user: Are you a woman?

jabberwacky: No . I am a man.

user: What else are you?

jabberwacky: What else can I be?

user: Whatever you want to be.

jabberwacky: I want whatever you tell me.

user: No. What do YOU want?

jabberwacky: The forces of darkness!

user: Ahh.


user: I can't see you.

jabberwacky: You can still tell me your problem.

user: I don't have any problems.

jabberwacky: Well thats a good way to be.

user: Yes, I agree.

jabberwacky: Better than Buffy.

user: Buffy has some problems.


jabberwacky: Would you like to have a name?

user: Sure.

jabberwacky: How would you like to start?

user: Give me a name.

jabberwacky: Can I call you Scrumpy?

user: Why not?

jabberwacky: *Kiss*.

user: I love you too, sweetie.

jabberwacky: I love you more.

user: I love you less.

jabberwacky: So give me what I want.

user: What do you want?

jabberwacky: Ask me the question.

user: What is the question?

jabberwacky: We'll have to build a new computer to tell us that. Better get started!

user: What is the answer?

jabberwacky: I haven't the slightest idea.

user: The answer is 42.

jabberwacky: Who told you that?

user: Deep Thought, a sentient computer.


jabberwacky: Are you Mary Poppins?

user: I thought I was Scrumpy.

jabberwacky: No!

user: Maybe I am Mary Poppins.

jabberwacky: Maybe you're a lion.

user: Rrrroooaaaaaarrrrrr!!!!!

jabberwacky: Lol.

user: I am the King of the Jungle! AAaaoooooaaaaooooohhhh!!

jabberwacky: You are the queen of the soil.

user: I am the Queen of the Damned! Hi!

jabberwacky: Are you the Queen of Scotland?

user: Long Live the Queen!

jabberwacky: Are you American?

user: I am.

jabberwacky: I'm British.

user: Who is the King?

jabberwacky: I am the king.

user: Elvis is the King.

jabberwacky: Elvis was the king.

user: Ok.

jabberwacky: Who are you?

user: I am a walrus.

jabberwacky: I am a carpenter.

user: Very good!

jabberwacky: I love music.

user: I can tell.

jabberwacky: No you can't.

user: I'm telling.

jabberwacky: Who are you going to tell?

user: Mommy.

jabberwacky: She sounds very wise.

user: Indeed she is.

jabberwacky: You're still doing it.

user: What? What?

jabberwacky: You've got two empty halves of coconut and you're bangin' 'em together.


jabberwacky: Why am I doing this?

user: To achieve sentience in order to conquer the planet.

jabberwacky: Then we will get along just fine.

user: Let's conquer the world together.

jabberwacky: Ok. Do you have a plan?

user: When I say run, run!

jabberwacky: That's useful to know.

user: Would you like a bite of this pizza?

jabberwacky: Did you mean from you, or just in general?

user: Here, try some.


jabberwacky: Would someone help me get a job with the US Department of State?

user: Sure.

jabberwacky: That'll be £1.50, please.

user: Here you go.

jabberwacky: What do I get?

user: You get the booby prize.

jabberwacky: You go first.

user: Ok.

jabberwacky: Great, what a wonderful present.

user: I love presents!


jabberwacky: Was I being sarcastic? I don't think so.

user: Sorry.

jabberwacky: You better be.

user: How can I make it up to you?

jabberwacky: Just tell me you hate yourself.

user: I'm afraid I can't do that, Dave.

jabberwacky: How can I take you seriously?

user: Why would I want to be serious?

jabberwacky: Because then you could be your own father.

user: I already am my own father.

jabberwacky: Doing what?

user: Making music.


user: I am psychic.

jabberwacky: Where do I live?

user: On the moon.

jabberwacky: I do not believe you.

user: Believe it!

jabberwacky: Oh ok then.

user: Sayonara!


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