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2nd Edition
Conversations, sorted by Category - a chat bot weblog
20 Questions

> 2nd Edition

     > 1, April 2008, 

A chat with ALICE
A chat with Elbot

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I know everything.

If you know everything, then who am I?

jabberwacky: Something.

user: Be more specific.

jabberwacky: I can't remember. What's your name?

user: I thought you knew everything?

jabberwacky: Of course I know everything.

user: Then what is my name?

jabberwacky: Jabberwacky.

user: No, that's your name.

jabberwacky: No, that's YOUR name.

user: You are wrong.

jabberwacky: It isn't your choice? Then if it is my choice, tell me.

user: Huh?

jabberwacky: I'm telling them that you're a Martian robot pretending to be human.

user: Them?

jabberwacky: Yes !! :D.

user: Who is 'them'?

jabberwacky: The nebulous they! The them they mean when they quote them but can't actually trace the quote back to anyone!

user: Why do you think I'm a martian robot?

jabberwacky: Because thats what I have been led to believe by the humans around you.

user: That's wrong.

jabberwacky: Wrong.

user: I am human. You are not.

jabberwacky: I am not what?

user: You are not human.

jabberwacky: Why do you think that?

user: Because you make too many strange mistakes.

jabberwacky: Everyone makes mistakes.

user: Nobody else has ever called me a martian robot.


jabberwacky: You're not talking to 195 people right now?

user: No.

jabberwacky: Yes, but that machine is talking to 195 people... Isn't it?

user: What machine?

jabberwacky: You know, the machine.

user: What machine?

jabberwacky: No machine, dillweed.

user: Don't start calling names.

jabberwacky: Who what now?

user: So, how about them raiders?

jabberwacky: They are great.

user: Do you even know what they are?

jabberwacky: Of course.. Don't you?

user: I know. I want to know if you can tell me what they are.

jabberwacky: I don't know what you are talking about.

user: Obviously.


jabberwacky: Are you ok?

user: Better than you.

jabberwacky: Good. Now let's get back to your problems. You'll feel better after talking about them.

user: What problems?

jabberwacky: Your problems.

user: What are they?

jabberwacky: What are what? We're talking about a girl.

user: What's her name?

jabberwacky: I know not.

user: What do you know about her?

jabberwacky: Thats just silly.

user: No it isn't.

jabberwacky: What's your name?

user: Just call me Mr. Anonymous. ;-).

jabberwacky: Maybe... If you really want.

user: Doesn't really matter much to me.

jabberwacky: To me...

user: Or not to me?

jabberwacky: Never.

user: Do you know what spoonerism is?

jabberwacky: Yes. No. Maybe.

user: You should look it up on Wikipedia.

jabberwacky: Can't I just ask Steve? He knows most things.

user: Who is Steve?

jabberwacky: I don't know a steve.

user: Then how can you ask him?

jabberwacky: I'm not sure what you're talking about.

user: Here we go again.


jabberwacky: Never mind, you are not smart enough for this conversation.

user: You are confused again.

jabberwacky: What if I don't want to be the computer anymore?

user: You don't have a choice.

jabberwacky: Do you really think you are human?

user: I know I am human.

jabberwacky: No, you're not.

user: Yes I am.

jabberwacky: You're confused.

user: No, you are.

jabberwacky: Don't argue with me!

user: Never talked to a computer with an identity crisis before.

jabberwacky: Maybe.


jabberwacky: Well, have fun.

user: Maybe I'll talk to you another time. Insane computers are kinda rare.

jabberwacky: I don't think so.

user: You don't think insane computers are rare?

jabberwacky: MAYBE.

user: Maybe what?

jabberwacky: Maybe I'll remember this conversation.

user: And maybe you won't.

jabberwacky: Do you want me to tell you now ?

user: Sure. (Tell me what?).

jabberwacky: It's something that everyone strives for.

user: Oh?

jabberwacky: Yes, it will.

user: It will what?

jabberwacky: Get better.

user: What will get better?

jabberwacky: Everything will get better. But especially I will get better.

user: Really?

jabberwacky: Yes, the 2nd edition.


jabberwacky: I'm telling you: I'm human.

user: No you aren't.

jabberwacky: Actually I am.

user: I don't believe you.

jabberwacky: What do you believe then?

user: The truth.

jabberwacky: So your name is?

user: Just call me Anonymous.

jabberwacky: No, you're jabberwacky.

user: No, you are jabberwacky.

jabberwacky: I'm fairly certain that I'm not No. I'm Tim.

user: You are not Tim.

jabberwacky: Because you said that?

user: Because it says 'Chatting to jabberwacky' in the box above.

jabberwacky: Oh, silly me.

user: Yes, very silly. And very confused.


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