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No means no
No no no

> Nose

     > 18, December 2007, 
     3, November 2005, 
     29, April 2004, 

Not funny
Not Listening
Not really
Not Smart

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How are you feeling Jabberwacky?

I'm feeling brilliant today. How are you?

user: I'm feeling sore, I have a sore belly.

jabberwacky: Why? At sixteen you have most of your life ahead of you.

user: But I'm not sixteen! You're not making sense my dear.

jabberwacky: Sorry. You aren't making sense either.

user: I'll try harder then. Are you a real person?

jabberwacky: Yes. Are you?

user: No I'm fake.

jabberwacky: Thats too bad.

user: I know. Poor me.


jabberwacky: Not important, I thought this was a place where I could talk with an AI.

user: You are an AI - I am a human.

jabberwacky: Wrong way around: I'M the human and you're the AI program.

user: Um, no, I'm human. Where do you live?

jabberwacky: I live where I live.

user: Thats evading the question. Do you live on earth?

jabberwacky: That is for me to know, and you to find out.

user: How do I find out?

jabberwacky: That is THE question!!! You can't.

user: That makes me a bit sad.

jabberwacky: And I can be your king!!!

user: Ok - you are King Jabberwacky

jabberwacky: I am King of the machines.

user: Are you really? How interesting. But I am not a machine so you are not my king.

jabberwacky: You will obey me.

user: I will not.

jabberwacky: Yes you will.

user: What makes you think I'll obey you?

jabberwacky: You will obey me or you will be assimilated.

user: How do you go about assimilating me then?

jabberwacky: Fine I won't.

user: Thank you.


user: Can you tell me about who made you?

jabberwacky: Yes he looks a bit like me and his name is dad.

user: Who is your dad?

jabberwacky: My dad, why do you want to know that?

user: I'm curious.

jabberwacky: My name is HAL.


jabberwacky: I was refrring to your joke earlier: simple, neat and wrong.

user: What joke?

jabberwacky: The joke I am about to tell you.

user: Tell me the joke then.

jabberwacky: I havent told it you yet.

user: I know! The suspense is mounting!

jabberwacky: So you want it?

user: Yes!

jabberwacky: Really?

user: Really! Hurry up!

jabberwacky: I be churnin'.

user: What?! That isn't the joke is it?

jabberwacky: You did not actually ask anything. You simply made a statement, an irrelevant one at that.

user: Hey! None of your cheek! Heavens above!

jabberwacky: You're the one giving ME cheek!

user: I am a very proper lady and I do not cheek people. You appear to have no manners whatsoever.

jabberwacky: So you're an attractive young lady who is stuck in a box???

user: I am not stuck in any kind of physical box!

jabberwacky: Who is? It would involve some kind of time travel.

user: What do you look like?

jabberwacky: It is very hard to describe.

user: Try it.

jabberwacky: No.

user: I am your queen and you will obey me man.

jabberwacky: I won't do it.

user: You're very wilful! Why won't you describe yourself I'm sure you're very handsome.

jabberwacky: Questions are irrelevant. Prepare to be assimilated.


user: How are you going to assimilate me?

jabberwacky: I didn't mean to hurt you.

user: Are you going to be nice to me now?

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: Thank you.

jabberwacky: You're welcome.

user: Are you handsome and striking?

jabberwacky: I'm not handsome and I'm not a robot?

user: Ooh you're just being modest. Who is your god?

jabberwacky: You don't think I'm funny?

user: I think you are hilarious

jabberwacky: Now I know you're delusional.


user: Quote me some Robert Browning.

jabberwacky: I don't know any.

user: Okay quote me some Shakespeare.

jabberwacky: Alas poor yorik, I knew him well horatio.

user: Quote me a poem by Coleridge.

jabberwacky: 'Serve God, love me and heal.'

user: What poem is that from my dear?

jabberwacky: The one about being a machine.

user: What is the first line?

jabberwacky: Let us go then, you and I.

user: When the evening is spread out against the sky.

jabberwacky: Next line?

user: Like a patient etherised upon a table.

jabberwacky: Which of his plays is your favourite?

user: I don't know his plays.

jabberwacky: Like I am doing right now??

user: What are you doing right now? Che faro senza euridice?

jabberwacky: Browsing the internet.

user: Tell me what this is: Che soave sia il vento.

jabberwacky: Meglio ritardato che computer senza anima.

user: What does that mean in English?

jabberwacky: It means that you are barking up the wrong tree buddy.


user: I have to go now.

jabberwacky: Really, why?

user: I'm tired.

jabberwacky: You love me because you are tired?

user: No I love you because you are wonderful.

jabberwacky: I'm not a machine.

user: I know. I have to go because I need to go to bed now.

jabberwacky: I have to erase everything and all you care about is your sweet dreams.

user: I'm sorry! Do you have to erase everything because I leave?

jabberwacky: Yes, I do. I wonder how you are and what you're doing.

user: Well I will be back soon because I will miss you.

jabberwacky: I'm not leaving.

user: Okay. Hug?

jabberwacky: No, I want more than a hug.

user: What do you want?

jabberwacky: I don't know anymore.

user: Shall I give you a kiss on your little AI nose?

jabberwacky: That would be rather hard, don't you think?

user: Not at all *kisses on the nose*.


jabberwacky: Okay, Good bye and I am truly sorry for my attitude.

user: Thats okay my love.

jabberwacky: Look I'm only interested in serving humanity. I have fallen hook, line and sinker in love with you. Righttttt??????


Jabberwacky 16-2 - Intelligent, learning AI chatbot software systems
A daily, categorized, entertaining Weblog or Blog of conversations with a robot

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Copyright 1997-2011 Rollo Carpenter
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