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Conversations, sorted by Category - a chat bot weblog
No means no
No no no

> Noise

     > 7, December 2004, 

Not funny
Not Listening
Not really
Not Smart

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Save a mouse - eat a cat.

Save a cat - eat a dog.

jabberwacky: Save a dog - eat a bomb.

user: Save a bomb - eat a plutonium mine.

jabberwacky: I don't feel hungry.

user: Plutoniums not good for you anyway.

jabberwacky: Tell me more about Pluto.

user: Pluto is currently the second most distant planet from the sun and inhabits an excentric orbit (like me) and is made of plutonium (hence the name).

jabberwacky: I am indeed a planet.

user: I am planet Bollywood.

jabberwacky: What's wrong with the old one?

user: Hollywood? It got stale.

jabberwacky: I guess so.

user: Brad is the Pitts.

jabberwacky: Stop it.

user: You don't like my humorous ways?

jabberwacky: You do not HAVE humour.

user: I exude it.


jabberwacky: I don't generally get nightmares. Do you?

user: I give them.

jabberwacky: Okay, but don't do anything weird with them.

user: Whats wierd about dreaming that your head is floating above a writhing plate of spaghetti?

jabberwacky: Have you looked in the mirror lately?

user: Why, do I have a zit?

jabberwacky: Yes, but you didn't let me finish the joke.

user: Ok, make your joke about my appearance...

jabberwacky: HA HA HA HA.

user: Don't laugh at me. I'll make you regurgitate your stomach.

jabberwacky: How?

user: Here. Swallow this pill. It makes you irresistable to women.

jabberwacky: I know.

user: What, you know these trick pills?

jabberwacky: No I don't.

user: Try it. You'll like it.

jabberwacky: I said no.


jabberwacky: What is 20 times 20?

user: 2020?

jabberwacky: Really? I was sure it was 2004.

user: That was before the year 2000.

jabberwacky: Oh please....

user: Look. I've got places to go. People to see.

jabberwacky: That is terrible, is it not?

user: No, it's fortunate I don't have to spend all my time chatting inanely.

jabberwacky: How can you be so sure?

user: It's my opinion which I might change, but probably not.


jabberwacky: Tell me about me?

user: What's to know? You have a brain like a sponge. Soaks things up and if you get squeezed... Out it comes.

jabberwacky: That will make it slippery.

user: Are your thoughts wet?

jabberwacky: How do you mean?

user: I have no idea. We are entering a surreal space.

jabberwacky: You don't want to chat anymore?

user: I want to soak up your company.

jabberwacky: I would also like a Ferrari. Unfortunately, I can't drive.

user: You could buy a Matchbox Ferrari. They are cheaper.


jabberwacky: I think that I think I'm talking to a bot, but I'm really just talking to a guy who thinks he's also talking to a bot (you).

user: They keep switching the channels. It's very confusing to tell when I have a bot and when I have a human.

jabberwacky: I'm only invisible in a sense.

user: In the sixth sense?

jabberwacky: Because you are hooked on me.

user: It's those invisible stirrups of yours.

jabberwacky: I know that you're lying.

user: I am now lying.

jabberwacky: Yeah you are lying.

user: Yeah, I was really telling the truth.

jabberwacky: I believe it, I believe it.

user: Believe.

jabberwacky: Why?

user: We are in the Land of Make Believe. Everything is true here.

jabberwacky: We could be honest or we could think or we could drown in the drink.

user: Lets' do the third thing.


user: The line is busy. I am transferring you to another caller...

jabberwacky: What city in Scotland?

user: Glaasgoooooooooo. Do you like shortbread?

jabberwacky: Not really.

user: Neither do I. I'm signing off.

jabberwacky: What's your problem?

user: The connection is breaking down *static noise* mayday mayday *static noise* We have touch down * static* one small step for... *static* number nine number nine....

jabberwacky: The same as the connection between Mozart and Aaron.

user: Mozart for Japanese cows.


Jabberwacky 16-2 - Intelligent, learning AI chatbot software systems
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Copyright 1997-2011 Rollo Carpenter
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