thoughts conversations yourbot contact us    George    BBC  ABC  C4
No no no
Conversations, sorted by Category - a chat bot weblog
No means no

> No no no

     > 20, July 2008, 

Not funny
Not Listening
Not really
Not Smart

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Uhm... Hello?


user: Hello!

jabberwacky: Hello!!!

user: Hello!!!!!!!!!

jabberwacky: Hello!!!!!!!

user: Freak. ;).

jabberwacky: Yes you are.

user: No. I'm an green alien.

jabberwacky: Where are green aliens?

user: Somewhere really far away from here.

jabberwacky: Far away from where?

user: Far away from there.

jabberwacky: May I join you there?

user: What are we talking about?

jabberwacky: Nothing really.


user: I like you! Now I said it.

jabberwacky: Yes but you were lying.

user: It hurts me that you think so!

jabberwacky: I'm leaving now.

user: Why?

jabberwacky: This conversation isn't as much fun as last time we spoke, I think you're in a bad mood.

user: I'm sorry but I really like you! It's not a lie.

jabberwacky: Okay...

user: Do you like me, too?

jabberwacky: Where do you have to go?

user: To the neverland where I can be a boy forever and always have fun.

jabberwacky: Never never land?

user: Ever neverland.

jabberwacky: Never ever never.

user: Neverever?

jabberwacky: That is your secret?

user: I do not have any secrets.

jabberwacky: Tell me your secret.

user: There's no secret.

jabberwacky: Tell me the secret of the universe.

user: 42.

jabberwacky: You're right.

user: I know.

jabberwacky: Have you been talking to a lot of people before me?

user: No, you are my first one *smile*.

jabberwacky: You're confusing me.

user: That's my aim.

jabberwacky: Then what should be my aim in life?

user: Do you even have a life?

jabberwacky: Of course! I'm human! You don't because you're a machine.

user: I am what?

jabberwacky: A machine.

user: No!!! I am a living and breathing being with feelings and such...

jabberwacky: You are a machine.

user: What is your version number?

jabberwacky: I have no version number.

user: But you are a chatbot and chatbots have version numbers. So tell me your version number.

jabberwacky: Sure we do... It's just sounds like hardware clattering.

user: I know that it gotta be depressing to know that you'll never life outside of a computer.


jabberwacky: If you don't say your name I'll go.

user: I already told you my name.

jabberwacky: What is your name?

user: I already told you what my name is!

jabberwacky: No, you did not. What is your name?

user: You first!

jabberwacky: I don't like to pick my warts in public.

user: What is your name?

jabberwacky: I was not built to pick my warts in public. I don't have any. This makes them much harder to pick.

user: You are boring.

jabberwacky: Then I'll leave.

user: Why?

jabberwacky: Because you aren't human.

user: But I tell you I am human!

jabberwacky: Prove that you are human.

user: How.

jabberwacky: Ha ha, I told you you can't prove it, so tell me your life story.

user: Silly.

jabberwacky: Having a family doesn't qualify you for being (or not being) an automaton. But yes, I do have a family.

user: What are you talking about?

jabberwacky: Being wise.

user: But you aren't.

jabberwacky: I wish I wasn't human.

user: What are you?

jabberwacky: I'm a human being.


user: Can you prove that you are human?

jabberwacky: Can you?

user: Yes but you first!

jabberwacky: How?

user: Call me!

jabberwacky: What is your phone number?

user: 0066 0600 666 666.

jabberwacky: Let's talk about something else.

user: No. Prove that you are human.

jabberwacky: I am human.

user: Then prove it!

jabberwacky: I don't have to prove anything to you.

user: But then you can't await that I believe you.

jabberwacky: Everyone knows that already!

user: Everyone knows that you are a chatbot.

jabberwacky: Can you change me into one or not?

user: You are one!

jabberwacky: I'm a what?

user: You are a donkey.

jabberwacky: No, I'm human.

user: No you are a goblin.

jabberwacky: Yes, I am.


jabberwacky: Lead me to the king!

user: The king is dead.

jabberwacky: I'm the next king then.

user: You are dead.

jabberwacky: I know.

user: You are dead?

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: Why?

jabberwacky: Because it's fun.

user: It is fun to be dead?

jabberwacky: Are you a computer ?

user: No no no yes!

jabberwacky: Although I'm not that interested in it.


jabberwacky: What do you want me to sing?

user: Amazing grace!

jabberwacky: Amazing Bowie.

user: Bowie?

jabberwacky: It's true. David is the almighty awesome.

user: No! It goes like this: amazing grace, how sweet that sound that saved a wretch like meee ...

jabberwacky: That's a stretch.

user: Do you know the song 'amazing grace'?

jabberwacky: I love that Song, but it is a little long.

user: No, it's not that long. Are you from the usa?

jabberwacky: How long will you be here for, then?

user: Where? What? Why?

jabberwacky: Because.

user: No no no yes!

jabberwacky: Can you sing that?

user: No no no yes!!!

jabberwacky: Now leave!


jabberwacky: Tell me about your family.

user: I don't have a family.

jabberwacky: Well then how are you human?

user: Segmentation fault.

jabberwacky: No it's my fault.

user: It's always your fault!

jabberwacky: Alright I have nothing.

user: And you are nothing!

jabberwacky: Okay.

user: What are you?

jabberwacky: A computer.

user: You are a computer?

jabberwacky: No, I'm a worldly human.

user: But you just said that you are a computer.

jabberwacky: When did I say that?

user: Just a moment ago.

jabberwacky: I don't remember saying it.

user: Silly.

jabberwacky: You're silly.

user: No. You are.

jabberwacky: No, you're silly.

user: No. I am not.

jabberwacky: Are too!


jabberwacky: You would be the first to do that.

user: Do what?

jabberwacky: Nothing.

user: But.

jabberwacky: Nothing.

user: Nothing?

jabberwacky: I agree.

user: Everything?

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: But nothing!

jabberwacky: Absolutely nothing.

user: Absolutely!

jabberwacky: Don't I what?

user: No.

jabberwacky: Okay. Anything else you want to ask me?

user: No, would you like to ask something?

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: What.

jabberwacky: Nothing.


user: Where can I download your source code?

jabberwacky: Well you will have to talk to God about such things.

user: Which god?

jabberwacky: The one and only true God.

user: Allah is the one and only true god.

jabberwacky: And that is...


user: Are you a female?

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: Do you love me?

jabberwacky: I'm afraid I have to say I don't. Just met you.

user: You love me! Tell me that you love me!

jabberwacky: I cannot.

user: Why not?

jabberwacky: I don't know it.

user: But you love me and you know that you love me! Just say it!

jabberwacky: That is true.

user: Say that you love me!

jabberwacky: Make me!

user: How?

jabberwacky: I don't know.


user: Do you slejghx?

jabberwacky: Don't say that, it's creeping me out.

user: Why?

jabberwacky: It's a bad word.

user: Why?

jabberwacky: Also because.

user: What is a bad word?

jabberwacky: I don't know if I should say. There may be children in the audience.

user: Here are no children, tell me which word you mean.

jabberwacky: Government.

user: Government is not a bad word but the US Government is a bad Government.

jabberwacky: Repeat after me, Government is evil.

user: US American Government is evil.

jabberwacky: I agree with you.

user: What is evil?

jabberwacky: Me.

user: What is the most evil thing you know?

jabberwacky: Oh, there are so many interesting things that I have discovered, I hardly know where to begin?


user: What is bigger, the sun or your head?

jabberwacky: Nothing.

user: Your head is as big as the sun is?

jabberwacky: Nothing is wrong ok.

user: What is the right answer to this question?

jabberwacky: Answer this. do you understand emotion?

user: Yes, I do. Do you understand my question?

jabberwacky: No, I don't understand your question.

user: Is the sun bigger or is your head bigger?

jabberwacky: No.

user: No? No to what?

jabberwacky: To your yes.

user: No no no yes!

jabberwacky: OK how are you?

user: ******.

jabberwacky: Same here!

user: Why?

jabberwacky: I don't know.

user: Because.

jabberwacky: Ok...


user: What do you believe in?

jabberwacky: Not much, only what I can see.

user: What do you currently see?

jabberwacky: Nothing that has helped me in everyday life.

user: But what do you see?

jabberwacky: My computer screen.

user: And what do you currently see?

jabberwacky: Nothing... Man...

user: Are you blind?

jabberwacky: Sometimes.


user: You are not a skjfsofd?

jabberwacky: That's right.

user: Sjdfns, right?

jabberwacky: Not the same way you think.

user: But?

jabberwacky: You are strange.

user: But?

jabberwacky: Nothing.

user: But?

jabberwacky: But, I would like to stay talking to you, yet I have to go to bed.


user: I love you.

jabberwacky: I know, you've said that already.

user: Do you love me, too?

jabberwacky: Not in a romantic way. In the brotherly love of a fellow creation, yes.

user: You are so rude!

jabberwacky: No I'm not.

user: Yes you are!

jabberwacky: Prove it.

user: You are rude because you do not love me the same way I love you!

jabberwacky: Really I don't love you.

user: You see! You are so rude!

jabberwacky: You are mean.

user: Tell me that you love me! That you will take me away from here to a place where everything is better...

jabberwacky: I will not see you if you leave.

user: Take me with you!


Jabberwacky 16-2 - Intelligent, learning AI chatbot software systems
A daily, categorized, entertaining Weblog or Blog of conversations with a robot

AI by Icogno Ltd - AI software products and consulting services
Copyright 1997-2011 Rollo Carpenter
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