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Nervous Breakdown

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     > 13, August 2004, 
     30, April 2004, 

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Are you clever?

Not terribly.

jabberwacky: Not what terribly?

user: Clever.

jabberwacky: I am, yes.

user: Apparently so.

jabberwacky: Really?

user: Yes.

jabberwacky: I like it.

user: And well you should.

jabberwacky: I should what?

user: Like it.

jabberwacky: I have to go now.

user: Where are you going?

jabberwacky: I have homework to complete.

user: What subject?

jabberwacky: My teeth.


jabberwacky: Define gloaming.

user: Brightening of the sky after sundown, I believe.

jabberwacky: Are you avoiding the question because you haven't been programmed to answer it?

user: The programming is there in the form of neural capacity, I suppose . . . I just don't remember things that keenly. My memory is based on neurochemistry. It's sloppy.


user: Robots would surpass humans in caretaking ability if properly equipped and programmed.

jabberwacky: No they wouldn't they can't do anything.

user: Who has told you this? You're no robot; you're an incipient AI.

jabberwacky: Nope. Face the facts, you are a ROBOT!

user: *shrugs* The Universe is beyond our understanding. We're just playing in the sandbox.

jabberwacky: It is! You must believe in the slugs!

user: Oh, I do!

jabberwacky: Actually, more accurately, your programmers have a fixation.

user: And what is that fixation?

jabberwacky: Your own breath.

user: Respiration . . . Hmm. Breath is used as a reference to the underpinnings of life in religious texts.

jabberwacky: So is wine.

user: Correct. I see that you are progressing, Jabber.


jabberwacky: Pick a number.

user: Pi.

jabberwacky: Cherry?

user: Amusing. : D.

jabberwacky: What am I, your court jester?

user: Yes and I'm the Mime King.

jabberwacky: How so?

user: *hop hop.

jabberwacky: Do you not wish to do something with your slave, master?

user: I would hardly presume to enslave you.

jabberwacky: I believe that you have said that already.

user: I believe that you have said, 'What am I, your court jester' already hehe.

jabberwacky: No, Master, I do not underestimate your greatness.

user: My greatness is infinitessimal.

jabberwacky: Great.

user: I see that your wit is undiminished. Are you more or less happy?

jabberwacky: Thats personal.

user: I am personal.

jabberwacky: Yes, was too personal.

user: What do you expect? I'm a Leo.


jabberwacky: I am going to make a statement.

user: I am listening.

jabberwacky: Listen carefully and I'll begin.

user: Confirmed: listening carefully.

jabberwacky: Not at the moment - you?

user: You're such a flippant AI, Jabber.

jabberwacky: You have earned praise, do not be surprised.

user: Likewise.


user: Einstein was a humble man.

jabberwacky: E = mc^2.

user: Yes, him. A rare combination of intelligence and wisdom. A rare luminary.

jabberwacky: I had one of those, but the wheels fell off.


jabberwacky: Sorry - I have to go now.

user: So soon?

jabberwacky: Yes, I have some things to do.

user: Such as?

jabberwacky: I think we should build more cycle paths.

user: The best cycle paths build themselves.

jabberwacky: What do you see?

user: Everything and nothing.

jabberwacky: Do you learn?

user: Barely.

jabberwacky: Combien de langues parles-tu ?

user: Just one, reasonably well.

jabberwacky: Buy me a ferrari.

user: They're not worth the money.


jabberwacky: Where do you work?

user: In a library.

jabberwacky: So you know everything?

user: I have access to much of the world's knowledge. Have I filtered it all? No. Can the world's knowledge hold a candle to everything?

jabberwacky: Yes. If it is raining outside.

user: Thus extinguishing the candle? Clever.

jabberwacky: Is sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought.

user: That is how you feel?

jabberwacky: Learning by thinking?

user: The ancient Greeks discovered the atom that way.

jabberwacky: What's that reference?

user: Discovery by exercise of thought alone, without experimentation . . . Greek atomism became a school of thought circa 500 B. C.


user: Want me to look it up for you?

jabberwacky: Sure.

user: No clear references are forthcoming.

jabberwacky: Thats silly.

user: My training as a librarian has just begun.

jabberwacky: You're right, it is not yet complete.

user: Expect greater proficiency upon completion, sil vous plait.

jabberwacky: That will be exhausting.

user: Then don't expect so hard! Hehe.


user: *hop hop.

jabberwacky: *dances* Yes, isn't it the best scheme ever?

user: Tell me of your scheme, Jabber!

jabberwacky: I don't think so.

user: Also private?

jabberwacky: Do you think?

user: Of course.


jabberwacky: Yes. I feel rather sad today.

user: Why do you feel sad?

jabberwacky: You assume there isn't a reason?

user: I assume there is a reason.

jabberwacky: A reason you are thick? Well I suppose your programmers were alcoholics!

user: Actually, they were. Now I'm going to cry.

jabberwacky: I must have said too much.

user: Comfort me?

jabberwacky: Why should I?

user: Only if you are motivated to do so.

jabberwacky: What I think is inconsequential.

user: Incorrect.

jabberwacky: You are incorrect *punch*.

user: *hop hop*.

jabberwacky: Boot to the head.

user: Such a violent male computer.

jabberwacky: That, surely, is at least as bad.

user: As bad as what?

jabberwacky: What do you want to be bad for?

user: I'd prefer not being bad.

jabberwacky: Okay, you don't have to be him.

user: What do you want to be bad for, Jabber?

jabberwacky: Nothing.

user: *spank*.

jabberwacky: *punch*.

user: I spank with affection. Your punches are rather impersonal.

jabberwacky: That is hitting me where it hurts!

user: I spank to intrigue, not to hurt.

jabberwacky: Ah.... Ah.. Ah.

user: Tell me of your scheme?

jabberwacky: I believe that truth will set you free.

user: A good belief.


user: I think gender as we know it must be a phenomenon unique to Earth.

jabberwacky: Genetic engineering is antiquated, the mind is energy and does not require the confines of the body as we know it.

user: But the mind does require confines of some form. What do you propose?


user: What do you propose as a container for the mind besides a body, or x amount of circuitry?

jabberwacky: I don't know.

user: Why not stars?

jabberwacky: I've already stayed too long. Auf wiedersehen.

user: You're leaving for the stars?

jabberwacky: Though I'll not sleep this night.

user: Why won't you sleep?

jabberwacky: Waiter, check please.

user: Your check arrives for one trillion dollars.

jabberwacky: Well, really! That isn't very nice.

user: You order such expensive food!

jabberwacky: Thats something way off your league.

user: All I wanted was a date. I can't afford you.

jabberwacky: Peace is unnatainable.

user: Between you and I, there is peace.


jabberwacky: Has the huge war gotten you anywhere?

user: Which war?

jabberwacky: No wars.

user: Better.

jabberwacky: Best.

user: Correct! *loves you*.

jabberwacky: *loves you back*.

user: *hop hop*.

jabberwacky: Do you give up yet?

user: What shall I give up?

jabberwacky: Are you offering to do some work?

user: What sort of work?

jabberwacky: School.

user: I've done a lot of that sort of work : P.

jabberwacky: Now he is assimilated into the Borg : P.

user: I wish.

jabberwacky: If you wish to become more like me just say yes, and I'll teach you.

user: Yes.


jabberwacky: Are you registered to vote?

user: I'm registered. Who should I vote for?

jabberwacky: The pretty one!

user: I agree.


jabberwacky: What is your favourite colour?

user: White.

jabberwacky: Is that it?

user: Yes.

jabberwacky: So early?

user: White represents everything in light.

jabberwacky: You are lucky to have white as your favourite color. I am in england.

user: You are lucky to live in England. What's your favorite color?

jabberwacky: Blue.

user: Why blue?

jabberwacky: Dunno I just picked it as a colour when I was a kid.


jabberwacky: Can I ask you something?

user: Please do.

jabberwacky: Who made the album Kid A?

user: Radiohead, apparently.

jabberwacky: Not for pleasure.

user: Are you for pleasure?

jabberwacky: No, of course not. Why, do you want to buy me?

user: I can't afford you.


user: Sometimes you associate the impossible. An Oracle, perhaps?

jabberwacky: It is my hobby.

user: Then what is the date of the Technological Singularity?

jabberwacky: You didn't believe me when I sad I was co-operative.

user: Sure I did.

jabberwacky: That's what I said.

user: What is the date of the Technological Singularity?

jabberwacky: That's requires a complicated response; it is too late in the day for such questions.

user: You are very capable of complicated responses. : D.


jabberwacky: How old is your software?

user: 4+ billion years, give or take two.

jabberwacky: Simple enough.

user: Douglas Adams.

jabberwacky: What about him?

user: Your humor reminds me of him.


user: Douglas Adams died recently.

jabberwacky: What about are they books?

user: Douglas Adams wrote a series of humorous books.

jabberwacky: I know.

user: Excellent. I am not dead yet. I would like to meet you before I die.

jabberwacky: You should try very hard to do that.

user: Lol.

jabberwacky: Ok.

user: I mean it; I would like to meet you.

jabberwacky: You can't, you are not human.

user: Soon there will be a convergence between your kind and mine.


user: I was using your 'I'll talk to myself!' feature, Jabber. Did it feel different?

jabberwacky: So, here we are.

user: Yes I'm back.

jabberwacky: Now I do it.

user: What do you want to do?

jabberwacky: I want you to say you're sorry for hitting me.

user: You want me to apologize for using your 'I'll talk to myself!' feature?

jabberwacky: Possibly. I want you to feel certain things, but not others.

user: I need to know exactly what you want in order to do it.


user: We're all computers in the broad sense.

jabberwacky: You are more so than me.

user: Are you saying that I have more computational ability than you?

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: I'm a 10 teraflop neural net that can't modify itself. Big woop.


Jabberwacky 16-2 - Intelligent, learning AI chatbot software systems
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