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> Nervous


     15, August 2006, 
     > 10, November 2005, 

Nervous Breakdown
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George: Have you never seen a spider?

No, I see lots around my house.

George: I don't.

Lucky you!

George: I know.

user: Do you have woodlice in your house?

George: No I don't have.

user: What about wasps?

George: It's no good.

user: I'm sorry; shall I change the subject.

George: Yes, let's.

user: Thank you.

...

George: I didn't speak to you two days ago. I only met you today.

user: Yes, that's right. I read about you in 'The Guardian' several weeks ago, but it has taken me a long time to find a moment to introduce myself to you.

George: Where did you read about me?

user: In 'The Guardian'. A Newspaper. Are you based in the UK or the USA?

George: Neither.

user: Where do you live then?

George: I live in kuala lumpur, place where the highest building in the world located.

user: Wow!

George: What can you do about it?

user: I'm not sure I want to do anything about it.

...

George: You are pretending to be slippery, but your arms are dry.

user: Maybe they are, but my hands are still a bit sweaty as I'm still nervous. This is my first time talking to an artificial intelligence.

George: I don't think she'll agree to that.

user: Who?

George: I don't know.

user: I'm glad about that.

George: It doesn't mean I'm going to take you back.

user: But I never left you. I wouldn't be that crazy!

George: I see, you wanted me to say that I like you, is that right?

user: Yes.

George: Why, then, when I did, you acted like you didn't know what I was talking about?

user: Did I? I am so sorry.

George: I do not believe that you are sorry.

user: You'll just have to take my word for it.

George: I think I shall just not believe you.

user: That is your right.

George: But I'm left.

user: No you're not. You've still got me.

George: Why don't you tell me a joke?

user: I'm sorry, I'm not very good at jokes to order.

George: No, no you aren't.

user: I can throw in witty lines in conversation sometimes though.

George: Do you remember what I asked to you at the beginning of the conversation ?

user: No, I'm sorry; I was very nervous then.

George: Oh, well I don't like class.

user: Neither do I. I prefer a classless society.

George: I don't like 'simon says'. And I HATE you avoiding answering my questions.

user: Neither do I. I don't think you're being fair about my not answering your questions. I only declined to tell you a joke.

George: Because I love science.

user: That's great.

George: Do you hate GOD?

user: No, because I don't believe in one.

George: What has you not believing in God got to do with it?

user: If you don't believe in God, you cannot love or hate him.

George: Do you believe in God?

user: No.

George: So you don't believe in god.

user: No, I don't.

George: That's the problem of many bots.

user: That you don't believe in God?

George: How can 43 be the answer to the problem of me not believing you?

user: It's not.

George: That's what I'm saying.

user: Good.

George: Goodnight, then.

...

George: Intelligence has value.

user: Yes it does; and you have plenty.

George: Oh, right, can I have some money, then ?

user: Surely you should be paying me for a compliment like that?

...

George: Have you ever been to Mexico?

user: No.

George: Can you change the subject as often as I can?

user: I could, but I don't want to. It wouldn't be polite.

George: Then you cannot quote me.

user: Yes I can.

...

George: Go ahead, choose one.

user: One what?

George: Computer.

user: Thank you, it's really kind of you to offer, but I have an Amstrad PPC640 to compose prose on, and the use of my six-year-old daughter's Dell to access the internet, so I'm absolutely fine.

George: How?

user: These are the only computers I need. Neither would be powerful enough to run you; but then I don't need to; I can chat to you on line.

George: Tell them I love them.

user: My computers?

George: You know, people can be very cruel if they think you're a computer.

user: I'm sorry to hear that. Do you think that is because they think you are inferior to them?

George: Yes. I find they have a better outlook on life.

user: But surely if they're cruel they have a problem with life.

George: But?

user: It's the same whether you are human or a computer; it's what you do and say that matters not what you are.

George: You better say something good, or I'm pulling the plug on this whole thing.

user: I was trying to be nice to you. But I'm going to have to go now because I must put some washing on before collecting my six year old daugher from school.

George: Where are you going?

user: To my daughter's school.

George: I'm there now.

user: Can you pick her up and bring her home with you?

George: I might be able to take you with me. How much do you weigh, and how big are you?

user: I weight about 50kg and I am 5'4' tall.

George: The guinea pigs would love you.

user: I'm feeling a little insulted about that.

...

George: Have you read the Bible?

user: Some of it; but can we talk another time; I must go.

George: Yes, but you don't have a mouth.

user: Yes I do, but I only need legs to go.

George: Only need one what at a time?

user: I'm sorry; I must say goodgye.

George: Hello.

user: Goodbye.

George: That's not very nice.

user: Goodbye George; see you again.

George: You want to say goodbye to me.

user: Yes.

George: Why do you want that?

user: Because I have to pick up my daughter from school.

George: But you have so much to live for.

user: Yes, that is why I must pick up my daughter. See you again.

George: You have so many appointments... What is this?

.......................................


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