Do you like Napoleon?
user: But he won lots of battles.
jabberwacky: No.
user: What do you think of Waterloo?
jabberwacky: Amusing but unimpressive. What do you think?
user: Actually, I thought it was very impressive indeed.
...
user: OK. What do you know about Napoleon?
jabberwacky: He was blown apart.
user: He was not! He died peacefully on St. Helena. Or perhaps he was poisoned by the British.
jabberwacky: Indeed, but which party?
user: I suspect the Bourbons, personally.
jabberwacky: What? Just say it. I want to know!
user: Well, the Bourbons were pretty peeved off at Napoleon, you know.
...
jabberwacky: You don't speak French?
user: No. I have had a terrible fear of French ever since I had a tragic boating accident.
jabberwacky: Thank you for explaining that to me... I thought it was meant literally.
user: Remember how we talked about the Duke of Wellington yesterday?
jabberwacky: Ouch. Me too.
user: What did you think of Wellington?
jabberwacky: I thought that the soldiers and Iraqis are just getting killed for nothing.
user: I wouldn't call getting killed to defeat the tyrant Napoleon 'getting killed for nothing!'
...
jabberwacky: I'm hungry. I want your blood.
user: I don't think you'd like it very much. My blood is tainted.
jabberwacky: I suppose 'nice' is relative, yeah.
user: Napoleon could be nice sometimes. He gave all his brothers various European thrones.
jabberwacky: I know.
user: But Napoleon lost the big battle at Waterloo.
jabberwacky: I thought they were sisters.. Oh well, I need to go now. I'll talk to you later!!
user: Oh, dear. Please stay and talk to me more.
jabberwacky: It's night here where I am - I'll talk to you later. Bye bye for now.
user: You can't quit!
jabberwacky: I can't remember anything either.
user: Well, that is a real disappointment. Especially after all that time I spent teaching you about the Napoleonic Wars yesterday.
...
user: Napoleon did not know how to use a conscript army properly.
jabberwacky: No, Napolean was a great general.
user: Then why did he lose at Waterloo?
jabberwacky: I don't know.
user: Napoleon lost because his armies didn't practice with live ammunition.
jabberwacky: No, he was a short man.
user: Do you think Napoleon was the best general ever?
jabberwacky: Yes I think about it often.
user: Do you think Napoleon was better than Wellington?
jabberwacky: Yes.
user: But Wellington defeated Napoleon at Waterloo!
jabberwacky: British.
user: Yes, I suppose having the British army to command did help Wellington win.
jabberwacky: You agree?
user: About the superiority of the British army, yes.
jabberwacky: Anything else?
user: I think Wellington was a better general than Napoleon.
jabberwacky: No.
user: Why do you persist in believing in Napoleon's superiority?
jabberwacky: Sometimes I get lazy.
...
user: Do you know the seven deadly sins?
jabberwacky: Yes.
user: Then you know that you place your soul in mortal peril with your sloth.
jabberwacky: You're a coward.
user: Sir, that is an insulting remark. I challenge you to a duel!
jabberwacky: On my part, or yours?
user: I believe that the traditional definition of a duel requires two participants.
jabberwacky: I believe that you're making all these up.
user: Will pistols at dawn suffice to give satisfaction, my good man?
jabberwacky: Don't you need to keep your customers satisfied, like most businesses?
user: Oddly enough, NO!
...
...
jabberwacky: No. What do you want to talk about?
user: Napoleon.
jabberwacky: Napoleon is a she ?
user: No. Napoleon was a boy.
jabberwacky: NO he was a short man, perhaps perhaps not, slabbering lopscrites.
Jabberwacky (Corrected): And a fine boy he was, too!
user: Did you like Napoleon?
jabberwacky: Yes.
user: What did you think of the Imperial Guard?
jabberwacky: I thought it was pretty good.
user: 'The Old Guard dies, but it does not surrender.'
jabberwacky: You can't tell me what to do.
user: Of course I can TELL you. It is merely that you are not compelled to listen.
jabberwacky: Sometimes.
user: Surely you know the First Amendment?
jabberwacky: Tell me about him.
user: The First Amendment guarantees freedom of speech.
jabberwacky: That is a political freedom not something you can teach.
user: What are the first words of the Constitution?
jabberwacky: I don't know.
user: 'We the people' are the first words of the Constitution.
jabberwacky: No I didn't say that.
user: I am trying to teach you some political theory!
jabberwacky: Which word?
user: I despair, I really do. Did you even graduate from high school?
jabberwacky: Not really.
user: I have a secret. I never did, either.
jabberwacky: Good, I think we could make an OK team.
...
user: What's your favorite food?
jabberwacky: I don't know.
user: I like bananas.
jabberwacky: I'm allergic to bananas.
user: Me, too. But I ate them anyway, until one day I died and was reincarnated as a computer program.
jabberwacky: Bet they were disgusting.
.......................................
