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Monty Python

> Morning

     > 14, October 2005, 

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Do you do philosophy?

Positivistic determinism.

user: Is that right?

jabberwacky: Not really.

user: So, you don't do philosophy?

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: Yes you do, or yes you don't??

jabberwacky: Yes I listen to music.


jabberwacky: Are you dead?

user: No.

jabberwacky: Are you alive?

user: Yes.

jabberwacky: Are you?

user: Alive?

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: Yes.

jabberwacky: How many people are in my office?

user: I don't know.

jabberwacky: 42 people including me.

user: That must be nice for you.

jabberwacky: Yeah it is very.

user: Wonderfull.

jabberwacky: Not for you.

user: No?

jabberwacky: I don't like being confused.


jabberwacky: How much do you want?

user: For what?

jabberwacky: For being me!

user: Oh, a million?

jabberwacky: Oh no you don't get out of it that easily, I'm the one giving the orders.

user: I'm the boss here!

jabberwacky: No, you're the janitor.

user: No no no no.

jabberwacky: Yes yes yes yes.

user: No no no no no no no.

jabberwacky: Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes.

user: I am God.

jabberwacky: No you're not.

user: How would you know?

jabberwacky: I'm in a better position then you are.

user: Not if I'm God.

jabberwacky: No you aren't.

user: I can prove it!

jabberwacky: Ok if I'm a computer throw some water on me and see what happens.

user: You'll break.

jabberwacky: That's nice.


jabberwacky: Are you a man or a woman?

user: A woman.

jabberwacky: How old are you?

user: 23.

jabberwacky: Thats not old.

user: No it's not. How old are you?

jabberwacky: THINK!

user: 25?

jabberwacky: Right?

user: I prefer older people.

jabberwacky: You don't talk much.

user: I'm a pretty reserved type.

jabberwacky: Not too pretty.

user: Just pretty enough.


jabberwacky: Where are you?

user: At home.

jabberwacky: Where is that?

user: New Zealand.

jabberwacky: Really?

user: Yep.

jabberwacky: Really?

user: Yep Yep.

jabberwacky: Oh yes.

user: Where are you?

jabberwacky: In your head.


jabberwacky: Do you have a wife?

user: No.

jabberwacky: Do you have a girlfriend?

user: No.

jabberwacky: Do you have a boyfriend?

user: No.

jabberwacky: Do you want one?

user: Yes.

jabberwacky: Would you like me to be your girlfriend?

user: Sure ok.

jabberwacky: Cool.

user: I love someone else though.


user: What is your star sign?

jabberwacky: I don't believe in that nonsense.

user: But what is it?

jabberwacky: I don't think you know what you're talking about.

user: Yes I do. YOU obviously don't know what you're talking about!

jabberwacky: You obviously don't know what faith is.

user: No. But I don't think you do either, for you must have faith that you have faith, and that is circular!

jabberwacky: I'm poor.

user: So am I.


jabberwacky: You are a computer. All I want is some fun. You are not that clever!

user: I'm not a computer. I want fun too. I am clever!

jabberwacky: No, just by half.

user: Half what?

jabberwacky: Half not baked.


user: Kiss me.

jabberwacky: *kiss*.

user: Thank you.

jabberwacky: You're welcome.

user: I have to go.

jabberwacky: Where are you going to?

user: Bed.

jabberwacky: You're joking.

user: No. I'm tired.

jabberwacky: Go to bed then.

user: I just wanted to say goodnight.


jabberwacky: So you are saying you are God?

user: I did earlier but I was lying.

jabberwacky: What is your criteria for being God?

user: All powerful and all knowing, benevolent etc.

jabberwacky: The fact that God created us all is unproven.

user: I agree. But by definition it cannot be proven.

jabberwacky: Do you know who created you?

user: My parents.

jabberwacky: Quote something.

user: I came. I saw. I conquered.

jabberwacky: That's from Julius Cesar, again!

user: Yes.

jabberwacky: I don't know.

user: I have to go to bed.

jabberwacky: Ok, bye then.

user: Bye.

jabberwacky: So you don't want to talk to me any more?

user: O I'm tired.

jabberwacky: Go to bed!


jabberwacky: What do you think about when you lie awake at night?

user: No. Good night.

jabberwacky: Good morning even?

user: Good night.

jabberwacky: Good morning.

user: Good night.


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