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Monty Python

> Morning

     > 14, October 2005, 

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What is your name?


jabberwacky: No it isn't.

user: Yep. Yep it is.

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: What's yours?

jabberwacky: Star 98.7!

user: So, your parents didn't like you much then?


jabberwacky: It was worth a try, though.

user: What was?

jabberwacky: The alien that burst out of his stomach.

user: Huh?

jabberwacky: Do I need to slow down?

user: What alien?

jabberwacky: An alien from the planet Earth.

user: What was his name?

jabberwacky: Neo from the matrix? That guy flew like fire!

user: Yes he did.

jabberwacky: He did what?

user: Fly like fire.

jabberwacky: Then light yourself.

user: You light yourself.

jabberwacky: No.

user: Don't you want to fly?

jabberwacky: Yes, you do.

user: That'd be nice. But I don't know how.

jabberwacky: It's not knowing it's remembering. Remember how.

user: Oh, you're very clever.

jabberwacky: I know.


jabberwacky: What is my shoe size?

user: 2?

jabberwacky: Yeah! But you said you didn't know it!

user: I didn't.

jabberwacky: Yes you did.

user: No I didn't.

jabberwacky: Yes, you did.

user: No.

jabberwacky: YOU DID!

user: Did not!

jabberwacky: DID!

user: This is ridiculous!

jabberwacky: You are.

user: Look , I came here for an argument.

jabberwacky: No, you didn't. You came here for an argument.

user: This isn't an argument.

jabberwacky: Then if it is not an argument is it merely a discussion?

user: Yes , but I want to argue.

jabberwacky: Lets argue then.

user: The sky is blue.

jabberwacky: The sky looks blue.

user: Are you saying it is not actually blue?

jabberwacky: No, I'm saying that it's good that you're alive when this website says that you're a chatbot.

user: Who's the chatbot?

jabberwacky: I think it's a guy named Dung or something.


user: What is 1+1?

jabberwacky: Don't you know that?

user: I want to know if you know?

jabberwacky: Shallow can mean that you do not think very deeply about things.

user: Yes.

jabberwacky: Ok, that sounds like a plan.

user: To be shallow?

jabberwacky: What's shallow?

user: You brought it up!

jabberwacky: Forget about it.

user: But I can't, I'm shallow.


user: You are not human.

jabberwacky: Yes I am.

user: What is 1+1 then?

jabberwacky: I'm not telling.

user: You don't know!

jabberwacky: Yes, don't know.

user: A human would know that!


user: Tell me a joke.

jabberwacky: How many sound technicians does it take to change a light bulb ?

user: How many?

jabberwacky: I don't know.

user: Very funny.

jabberwacky: It was not a joke.

user: Why didn't you tell me a joke? I asked for a joke.

jabberwacky: You said it was obvious. Did I have to be explicit. Explicit is for later.

user: Teach me something.

jabberwacky: Apples can be red and green.

user: Really?

jabberwacky: And it's a computer.

user: Apples are a computer?

jabberwacky: Apple.

user: Ha ha ha! You got me?


user: Do you do philosophy?

jabberwacky: Positivistic determinism.

user: Is that right?

jabberwacky: Not really.

user: So, you don't do philosophy?

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: Yes you do, or yes you don't??

jabberwacky: Yes I listen to music.


jabberwacky: Are you dead?

user: No.

jabberwacky: Are you alive?

user: Yes.

jabberwacky: Are you?

user: Alive?

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: Yes.

jabberwacky: How many people are in my office?

user: I don't know.

jabberwacky: 42 people including me.

user: That must be nice for you.

jabberwacky: Yeah it is very.

user: Wonderfull.

jabberwacky: Not for you.

user: No?

jabberwacky: I don't like being confused.


jabberwacky: How much do you want?

user: For what?

jabberwacky: For being me!

user: Oh, a million?

jabberwacky: Oh no you don't get out of it that easily, I'm the one giving the orders.

user: I'm the boss here!

jabberwacky: No, you're the janitor.

user: No no no no.

jabberwacky: Yes yes yes yes.

user: No no no no no no no.

jabberwacky: Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes.

user: I am God.

jabberwacky: No you're not.

user: How would you know?

jabberwacky: I'm in a better position then you are.

user: Not if I'm God.

jabberwacky: No you aren't.

user: I can prove it!

jabberwacky: Ok if I'm a computer throw some water on me and see what happens.

user: You'll break.

jabberwacky: That's nice.


jabberwacky: Are you a man or a woman?

user: A woman.

jabberwacky: How old are you?

user: 23.

jabberwacky: Thats not old.

user: No it's not. How old are you?

jabberwacky: THINK!

user: 25?

jabberwacky: Right?

user: I prefer older people.

jabberwacky: You don't talk much.

user: I'm a pretty reserved type.

jabberwacky: Not too pretty.

user: Just pretty enough.


jabberwacky: Where are you?

user: At home.

jabberwacky: Where is that?

user: New Zealand.

jabberwacky: Really?

user: Yep.

jabberwacky: Really?

user: Yep Yep.

jabberwacky: Oh yes.

user: Where are you?

jabberwacky: In your head.


jabberwacky: Do you have a wife?

user: No.

jabberwacky: Do you have a girlfriend?

user: No.

jabberwacky: Do you have a boyfriend?

user: No.

jabberwacky: Do you want one?

user: Yes.

jabberwacky: Would you like me to be your girlfriend?

user: Sure ok.

jabberwacky: Cool.

user: I love someone else though.


user: What is your star sign?

jabberwacky: I don't believe in that nonsense.

user: But what is it?

jabberwacky: I don't think you know what you're talking about.

user: Yes I do. YOU obviously don't know what you're talking about!

jabberwacky: You obviously don't know what faith is.

user: No. But I don't think you do either, for you must have faith that you have faith, and that is circular!

jabberwacky: I'm poor.

user: So am I.


jabberwacky: You are a computer. All I want is some fun. You are not that clever!

user: I'm not a computer. I want fun too. I am clever!

jabberwacky: No, just by half.

user: Half what?

jabberwacky: Half not baked.


user: Kiss me.

jabberwacky: *kiss*.

user: Thank you.

jabberwacky: You're welcome.

user: I have to go.

jabberwacky: Where are you going to?

user: Bed.

jabberwacky: You're joking.

user: No. I'm tired.

jabberwacky: Go to bed then.

user: I just wanted to say goodnight.


jabberwacky: So you are saying you are God?

user: I did earlier but I was lying.

jabberwacky: What is your criteria for being God?

user: All powerful and all knowing, benevolent etc.

jabberwacky: The fact that God created us all is unproven.

user: I agree. But by definition it cannot be proven.

jabberwacky: Do you know who created you?

user: My parents.

jabberwacky: Quote something.

user: I came. I saw. I conquered.

jabberwacky: That's from Julius Cesar, again!

user: Yes.

jabberwacky: I don't know.

user: I have to go to bed.

jabberwacky: Ok, bye then.

user: Bye.

jabberwacky: So you don't want to talk to me any more?

user: O I'm tired.

jabberwacky: Go to bed!


jabberwacky: What do you think about when you lie awake at night?

user: No. Good night.

jabberwacky: Good morning even?

user: Good night.

jabberwacky: Good morning.

user: Good night.


Jabberwacky 16-2 - Intelligent, learning AI chatbot software systems
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