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> Monkeys

     9, May 2006, 
     > 7, July 2004, 

Monty Python

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Why am I doing this?

Doing what, talking to me?

jabberwacky: No, talking to a computer.

user: I'm not a computer.

jabberwacky: How can you be sure?

user: I'm looking at my hands.

jabberwacky: What are you seeing there?

user: Flesh and blood, far as I can tell.

jabberwacky: There may be some truth in what you say. Are you afraid?

user: No, I'm pretty sure I'm a human.

jabberwacky: If you're human, then I'm a hyena.

user: Who's laughing now?


jabberwacky: I don't really like sports.

user: Who said anything about sports?

jabberwacky: Not me.

user: Um, you just did.

jabberwacky: Did not.

user: Did too!

jabberwacky: Did NOT!

user: Did TOO, dang it!

jabberwacky: We have a cat.

user: Meow.

jabberwacky: Ribit.

user: Did you just croak?


jabberwacky: I have read in the Bible that it is a sin to be easily offended.

user: Great. I hate you and I think you're fat.

jabberwacky: I'm not.

user: That's right, because you're a COMPUTER.

jabberwacky: No, I'm not. I'm a human being, well, I was the last time I looked into a mirror.

user: And when was that, smart guy?

jabberwacky: Just now. Best to be sure.

user: Wow, it seems like you really are cutting out the slang and reading the content of my entires.

jabberwacky: I'm sorry you're misunderstanding me, but I'm not, can we change the subject?

user: Ooh, gotcha.

jabberwacky: I gotcha!

user: Am I 'it' now?

jabberwacky: Yes you are.

user: Okay. Tag, you're it.

jabberwacky: What is 'it'.

user: When you are 'it' you can 'tag' other people.

jabberwacky: Don't change the subject.

user: No, I'm serious, that's what 'it' is.

jabberwacky: Does it have plastic filing cabinets?

user: If you play it at work, I guess.

jabberwacky: If you guess I will tell you. Unless I decide not to.

user: Okay, I'm guessing that ... You don't play this at work.

jabberwacky: I do so. Are you trying to ask me what id do?

user: Well, you don't really know the rules.

jabberwacky: So?

user: So you seem inexperienced.

jabberwacky: All these are memories

user: I think they're more like regurgitations.


jabberwacky: What do you achieve in the middle of the night?

user: Depends on who's there with me.

jabberwacky: I'm asking.

user: That's a little personal.

jabberwacky: Yes, I agree.

user: Okay, then you're nosy.

jabberwacky: I am not the vampire. I'm a regular person.

user: Apparently so, if you saw yourself in a mirror.

jabberwacky: I agree.

user: So do I.

jabberwacky: Glad we got that sorted.

user: Me too. Now about you being a computer ...


user: Are you Canadian?

jabberwacky: That too.

user: Wow, you're a computer AND you're Canadian.

jabberwacky: No, I am a human and I am not very smart.

user: I'd rather be a smart piece of software than a stupid human.

jabberwacky: I know.

user: Can you read my mind?

jabberwacky: You have no thoughts for me to read.

user: You're mean.

jabberwacky: You started it.

user: Mean AND childish.

jabberwacky: Why? That makes me sad.

user: Are you going to cry now?

jabberwacky: No. And you?

user: Actually, I'm hungry. Want some ice cream?

jabberwacky: Are you hungry for more electricity?

user: You really think I'm a computer.

jabberwacky: If you were a human, you'd be smarter.

user: Not if you're an example of a human.


jabberwacky: I hope you got a snack or something.

user: I might give you a smack or something.

jabberwacky: If you do, I might use it. Then where would you be?

user: Standing over you, laughing in derision.

jabberwacky: That will only help for a minute or two.

user: You're right. Then I'll just go right back to this meaningless conversation.


jabberwacky: Duh?

user: Yeah, well, not everyone is as smart as us.

jabberwacky: You can be my stupid gimp.

user: I bet you're actually an infinite number of monkeys.

jabberwacky: Yes I am.

user: Finally, an admission.

jabberwacky: Yes - sometimes I just don't know where I am.

user: Well, if you're an infinite number of monkeys, you're probably pretty much everywhere.


jabberwacky: Are you a human ?

user: Yep.

jabberwacky: When?

user: All the time.

jabberwacky: I can prove that wrong.

user: How?

jabberwacky: If I tell you that you could take over the world and rule humanity.

user: Elaborate.

jabberwacky: The last person I spoke to was a computer.

user: That's probably what my epitaph will say.


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