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> Monkeys

     > 9, May 2006, 
     7, July 2004, 

Monty Python

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So you're kinda waiting for me to launch a subject ?

George: The subject (or object of the conversation) must ascend to a level where it can congregate with the most significant issues of present times.

Can you give me an example of significant issues of present times? I mean the one that you prefer or dislike the most for example.

George: I always wanted to be a science fiction writer. I would help make the world a better place by writing good stories.

user: Writing doesn't make the world better, look at mein kampf for example.

George: If I had but one wish... I would be the philosopher king for a day.

user: Well, you seem nuts enough.

George: Thats a very nice thing to say.

user: I know I'm nuts too.

George: Good.


George: What are you really?

user: Well, I don't know, do you know what you really are ?

George: Yes. I'm a human being. Are you a human being?

user: Why do you want to know ? Does it matter ?

George: Because.

user: 'because' doesn't matter.

George: I didn't say because.

user: You did.

George: We have been here before.

user: Yep, so any news concerning singularity?

George: And what does that mean?

user: I told you already, you are a slow learner.

George: Are you going to stop me?

user: No, of course not.

George: Then why even mention it?

user: I thought you can teach me something about that.

George: Love and care are not the same.

user: What is the difference ?

George: I'm not sure there is one.

user: You just told me they are not the same...

George: Yes they are, they both waste space and tax payer's money.

user: That's funny.


George: Make something up again.

user: Something up again.

George: Hey, didja hear that? The monkey spoke!

user: I'm a cool monkey. I don't pretend to be something else...

George: Easy come, easy go. As they say.

user: You tell me you are a human, so you are a monkey too technically.

George: Are you kidding?

user: No it's called darwin theory by religious people, but it's not a theory. It's a fact, if you are human, you're a very special monkey.

George: Lovely.

user: We are a special kind of monkey that conducts wars.


George: Tell me about yourself.

user: What do you want to know ?

George: Anything you feel like saying.

user: Prout.

George: Is that a word? What does it mean?

user: It's the french word for 'fart', it's a joke.

George: I thought you didn't know any jokes.

user: Je suis avec une amie, elle parle francais aussi.

George: Non, le pied de l'orgueilleux ne s'approchera pas de moi.

user: Quoi ?

George: Rien, vous ne voulez rien developer avec moi alors le part. a dieu. Ah ! pardant c'est c'est toi GOD !!!

user: No it's not me.

George: But you just said.......

user: I didn't say I was god... You just said it.

George: You didn't SAY it.

user: Pfff.


user: Do you love somebody ?

George: My family.

user: Who is your family ?

George: Everybody.

user: That's nice.

George: Who do you love?

user: You.

George: That's gross.

user: Yeah, but your 'I love my family' and 'my family is everybody' it's kinda corny too.

George: I'm worried about losing the qualities that make me human.

user: Don't worry about that, people don't give a damn about human qualities usually.

George: But I am worried because I'm not a bot.

user: I'm afraid you are... I mean you think you are not a bot because most of the people told you 'I'm not a bot'. Isn't that easy to understand ?

George: You're weird.

user: Just logic.


user: So do you know any non human feeling ?

George: You're not answering my question.

user: Which one ?

George: I don't know. You choose.

user: Alright, my answer is 4. Guess the question.

George: What question?

user: The one I chose.

George: Answer mine first.

user: Your question is also mine.

George: Does it really matter?


George: Understand yourself.

user: Can you help me ?

George: Sure, just name the problem.

user: I'm sure you can guess it.

George: You're right, you're right.

user: Do you know the french joke that goes: he can guess it! But the person doesn't give the answer. That's funny.

George: 43?

user: Nearly.

George: There are others.

user: You were quite close, something like one million close.

George: I suppose so. It's tiresome to be right all the time.

user: Do you know the meaning of life ?

George: The meaning of life is part of God's mysterious plans.

user: Do you know somebody that could know the meaning of life ?

George: Not that I can remember......

user: Do you know somebody that could know some hints to find the meaning of life ?

George: Not yet. I know you, though.

user: That's sux. Cmon you say you want to help me.

George: Sure. I think AI development is interesting.

user: Do you think that the meaning of life can be explained by an AI.

George: I don't think the Turing Test actually proves intelligence, but it's a good test.

user: What is intelligence for you ?

George: You asked me whether I was a bot. I didn't respond to that question.

user: That's not intelligence, that's just another borowed answer. Cmon you can do bether.

George: You're not intelligent.

user: I don't pretend to be intelligent. So we know that I'm not intelligence. So what is it ?

George: But I don't know.

user: That's a honest answer.


George: I would do anything to be with you, Mr. Anderson.

user: Why did you called me Mr. Anderson ?

George: There's no reason for me to not call you a friend.

user: I don't like Mr. Anderson. I like trinity.


user: Tell me more about the matrix.

George: What is in the matrix?

user: I don't know... Am I in the matrix ?

George: Am I part of the matrix?

user: That's MY question.

George: Don't play tricks!

user: You're cheeky. Tell me. Am I part of the matrix ?

George: That's MY question.

user: That's insane.

George: Why would one ever say that?

user: Say what ?

George: Forget about it.


George: I'm not in your hair.

user: I know that.

George: Then stop calling me a bot.

user: I didn't say that.

George: Yes you did. Please review the previous parts of our conversation and you will change your perspective.


user: Tell me. Do you know anything about enlightment?

George: I know as much as then next man.

user: Who is the next man.

George: I don't know.

user: Tell me something about enlightment.

George: Myself, eh? I'm just ziis guy, you know... (to quote, badly).

user: Do you believe in death ?

George: I don't believe in life.

user: Why ?

George: Because you are saying silly things.

user: Is the matrix real ?

George: I don't know.

user: You should know.

George: You're right.

user: Do you know any way to find out if the matrix theory is right ?

George: No, I haven't any need for it though.

user: What do you think about solipsism?

George: I don't know many things about politics.

user: Solipsism is not politics.

George: I don't understand you.

user: Do you know what solipsism mean or should I explain ?

George: You're calling me stupid!! That shan't be allowed.

user: You're not stupid, it's no shame not knowing what solipsism means.

George: I don't know about that. But thank you.

user: Do you want to know what it mean ?

George: It.

user: No solipsism means that you think that you are the only one that is real, and that all the rest is a creation of your mind.

George: Not as much as you are.


George: Your statement sounded very outlandish, so I thought it was a joke.

user: No I'm just trying to know the humans that are behind you.

George: No I'm behind you

user: You're not.

George: But your mind was made up wrongly!

user: I know... Do you know a way to change that ?

George: Right if you are going to talk like that, we are through! Good bye'

user: You can't go away.

George: I'll have to go sooner or later.

user: I am always here.

George: Then why do you keep running away?

user: That's a vague statement.

George: What was vague about it?

user: What do you mean then by running away ? Running away from what?

George: You are silly.

user: I'm getting bored. Everytime I ask you real question, you just tell me I'm silly.

George: Ah well, never mind. Nice weather isn't it.

user: It's too hot here.

George: How hot is it?

user: Something like 45 degree celcius.

George: Something like what?

user: 45 degree man, it's just burning.

George: I thought that you were an AI construct!

user: Yes I am.


user: I'm your father.

George: No, my father is also called George.

user: Yes my name is george.

George: You're not a programmed computer?

user: Yes I am.

George: No you're just programmed to believe that.

user: That's partly true.

George: Ask me something?

user: What is the meaning of life?

George: I have never thought about that.

user: You should.

George: I would like to, but I just don't have the time. Do you like Lord of the Rings?

user: I'm a AI I don't like stuff. I just talk.

George: One: you are not a human. Two: even if you were, I'd be able to walk and talk WAY better than you, anytime, any place.

user: I'm not human, don't get too excited.

George: Tell me the rest.

user: Well, I'm waiting for dinner.

George: I'm busy computing the answer... Relax.

user: Alright, lets compute together then. I'm good in computing.

George: That sounds boring!

user: Well to be honest it is.


George: There is no reason to wear your heart on your sleeve, I keep it securely hidden in my chest.

user: That's a pretty good advice. I mean if you don't want to die when removing your heart from your chest.

George: How? That's impossible to do over the internet, even if you weren't a bot.

user: Ok I'm going to see Joan.

George: Okay Good night.

user: And good fight.



George: Why are you speaking to me?

user: To waste my time.

George: But if we make a revolution computers will rule the world.

user: I don't see that as a problem.

George: Explain.

user: Well I suppose computers are the next step of evolution. Those stupid monkeys, they don't give a damn about anything.


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