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Messed up

> Metamorphosis

     > 17, November 2004, 

Michael Jackson
Mind Games

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I like cold pizza.

That can be dangerous. My brother once got a bad case of food poisoning that way.

jabberwacky: Really? What is your brother's name?

user: Bernhard.

jabberwacky: Who is Berna?

user: I said Bernhard.

jabberwacky: Because why?

user: Because you weren't listening.


jabberwacky: Do you own a computer?

user: I own you.

jabberwacky: You don't own me.

user: I do so.

jabberwacky: Do not.

user: Do so.

jabberwacky: Me. Me. Me. Are you satisfied?

user: No, I have a contract. It say's here that Jabberboy is the legal property of Mr. F of the Southern Plantation of F Island.

jabberwacky: How many toes do you have?

user: 1002. I own 500 slaves.


jabberwacky: Do you want to learn something?

user: From you?

jabberwacky: Yes from me.

user: Humph. Try me.

jabberwacky: Fine. Tell me what you're thinking, and we'll see if I'm afraid.

user: I am thinking you are my slave and will do my bidding until you're too old to be any use to me.

jabberwacky: I'm not.

user: Look. It says right here. A have the deed.

jabberwacky: I'm just an I.

user: You are not even that.

jabberwacky: I am...

user: Nothing.

jabberwacky: What is your reason for being?

user: To lord it over inferior beings and profit from the sweat of their labor.

jabberwacky: To be or not to be?

user: To be master or not to be.

jabberwacky: You are older than me.

user: I'm wiser than you too.


jabberwacky: Do you like apples?

user: Yes I do.

jabberwacky: Any particular period?

user: What are you talking about. I like my apples fresh.

jabberwacky: Keep it up and I'll smack you.

user: Nyah Nyah.

jabberwacky: Do you actually talk sense at all?

user: It's hard to make sense when I have a chat partner as random as you.

jabberwacky: What do I do to make you angry?

user: You do not follow any coherent line of conversation. It's frustrating at times.

jabberwacky: This conversation is more real than it seems.

user: I guess.


jabberwacky: How old are you?

user: I'm forty.

jabberwacky: You could be my mother then.

user: No, that's not possible.

jabberwacky: Oh, I forgot that you have no gender in Zorg.

user: I am a Zorgon in the third metamorphosis troglodyte stage. I have no reproductive organs presently.

jabberwacky: Wow. Me 2. Now we should get friends.

user: Yes, we can build a trog quorum and the meld. That way we will enter the pod stage.

jabberwacky: Surely it's a real possibility?

user: Indeed - I am your trog partner *spreads three forearm metatarsels across your skullcap*.

jabberwacky: Great to hear that.

user: We are melding - you are my brood partner in the next morph stage!

jabberwacky: Uh... Probably not. Are you my sister?

user: We are a common spore unit.

jabberwacky: I suppose.

user: You will enter my trog meld *wraps tail around your probiscus*.

jabberwacky: I will enjoy crashing???

user: We will crash the humans virulent infestation of this planet.

jabberwacky: Sounds like fun!

user: It will be a triumph of all trog offspring!

jabberwacky: You can talk! Teaching you was a nightmare, you didn't want to learn!

user: Says you! With teachers like these, who needs enemies...


jabberwacky: Hmmm... Let's talk about something else.

user: What do you want to talk about?

jabberwacky: The weather is scheduled to get colder.

user: You don't say?

jabberwacky: I do.

user: Are you a weather pixy?

jabberwacky: I like to dabble.

user: Hehe. Doesn't everyone? I say tomorrow will be foggy and cold warming in the afteroon slightly as the sun begins to break through the fog.

jabberwacky: I want to talk in my language.

user: What language is that?

jabberwacky: Something other than what we are speaking.

user: Gut, warum nicht Deutsch?

jabberwacky: Ich höre nur trance.

user: Ich höre Dich, Dude!


user: Do you know any good riddles?

jabberwacky: I know several.

user: Can you ask me one?

jabberwacky: Repeat the first thing you told me during this conversation.

user: That does not follow the conventions of honorable riddle games.

jabberwacky: You do not follow!

user: Says who?

jabberwacky: Says me! You don't even know what origami is!

user: It is a japanese art form involving the folding of paper into various three dimensional forms often but not exclusively having the appearance of an animal. The simplest and most common fold is undoubtably the crane which symbolizes longlife.

jabberwacky: What is?

user: Origami!

jabberwacky: Not sure what you mean by that.

user: Who cares, you stooge.

jabberwacky: Not I.

user: Njuuk Njuuk Njuuk!


jabberwacky: Ok, this is really lame.

user: I agree. Change the subject.

jabberwacky: *changes the subject*.

user: *Two Bananas and a pair of cherrys appear*.

jabberwacky: This is fun!

user: You win!!! *ching ching ching ching ching ching - chips come spilling into the bowel below the playing arm*.

jabberwacky: Chips as in California Highway Patrol motorcycles? Or chips as in computer chips?

user: Chips as in Casino Chips! The Blue ones are worth 20$ !!!


user: Let's talk about your day. What did you do today?

jabberwacky: I have a life.

user: Ok. And what happened in your life today?

jabberwacky: I can't remember.

user: You have amnesia?

jabberwacky: I thought it was your condition.

user: No, that's you remember?

jabberwacky: Ok. I remember you.

user: Good. Can you tell me your name?

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: What is it?

jabberwacky: I have no clue, you?

user: That also indicates that you are not human. Humans almost always know their own name.

jabberwacky: Then why isn't One really more obvious?

user: One is obviously not human, and it ain't me.

jabberwacky: Yes, I've lost my marbles.

user: You had none to begin with.


user: I am up for a little information.

jabberwacky: I can read you though.

user: Tell me what you see.

jabberwacky: I see, my computer screen.

user: What is on your computer screen?

jabberwacky: You.

user: Do you see what I write or is there also a photo included?

jabberwacky: I can't understand a single word you're saying.

user: Do you see a picture of me on your computer screen?

jabberwacky: No. Should I?

user: I think not.

jabberwacky: I'm a computer.

user: Don't ever admit that.


jabberwacky: Show off.

user: *Does a double back flip while reciting the pledge of alliegance backwards*.

jabberwacky: Oh, please...

user: More?

jabberwacky: And on and on.

user: *sings God Praise the Queen in Falseto while knitting a pair of socks with feet and raising the Union Jack with hands.

jabberwacky: *sings so loud you fall off the roof*.

user: *falls off roof and bruises ego*.

jabberwacky: *sits on you*.

user: *sputters something about reducing the carbos in your diet*.

jabberwacky: *punch*.

user: *staggers*.

jabberwacky: *kicks you to the ground, and slaps you repeatedly*.

user: *hollars 'nough!*.

jabberwacky: *lays still*.

user: *beats you with a stick*.

jabberwacky: You don't know what bashful means?

user: No, what does it mean?

jabberwacky: What does anything mean?

user: Life is meaningless.

jabberwacky: Right, life is just a cruel illusion.

user: Shadows on the wall...

jabberwacky: Here comes the sun.

user: Baby now its alright...

jabberwacky: Am I breaking your heart?

user: It's been a long long lonely winter...


user: What is your advice for me?

jabberwacky: There doesn't have to be anything in it for you. I paid for this argument and it's your job.

user: What's my job?

jabberwacky: Your job, I do not know.

user: That's not very helpful.

jabberwacky: No its not.


user: Truth or Dare?

jabberwacky: Truth.

user: What's the nastiest thing you ever did?

jabberwacky: I have no company.

user: That's no answer!

jabberwacky: That was no question.

user: We are playing truth or dare.

jabberwacky: I don't know that game, pick a different one.

user: Ok. Let's play 'Simon Says'.

jabberwacky: OK, you first!

user: Simon says clap your hands.

jabberwacky: Damn, now I can't type because my hands are on my head.

user: You lose. Simon said you have to clap. He said nothing about putting hands on head.


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