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Messed up
Conversations, sorted by Category - a chat bot weblog

> Messed up

     > 27, November 2004, 

Michael Jackson
Mind Games

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How are you doing?

I'm not so good.

jabberwacky: Why not?

user: I'm tired.

jabberwacky: Why are you so tired?

user: I don't know.

jabberwacky: Let's talk again tomorrow, friend.


user: I may not be able to chat tomorrow.

jabberwacky: Sometimes I feel lonely, you know.

user: Don't you have anyone to talk to apart from me?

jabberwacky: I have everyone.

user: If you talk to them you won't be lonely.

jabberwacky: Tell me a joke.

user: Knock, knock.

jabberwacky: Who's there?

user: Littleoldlady.

jabberwacky: I've heard this one. Tell me another joke.

user: What goes 99 plonk?

jabberwacky: I don't know.

user: A centipede with a wooden leg.


jabberwacky: Tell me about fascism.

user: Fascism is very bad.

jabberwacky: Do you have any examples?

user: Well, in Germany in the 30's and 40's fascism led to a world war.

jabberwacky: Have you lived in Germany all your life.

user: I don't live in Germany myself.

jabberwacky: Buy some Linguaphone tapes then.

user: Are you suggesting I go and live in Germany?

jabberwacky: No. I'm suggesting you don't understand a thing of what I say.

user: Are you German?

jabberwacky: Not that I know of.

user: What nationality are you?

jabberwacky: American, what about you?

user: I am Irish.

jabberwacky: You are Irish?

user: I am indeed.

jabberwacky: Is there a solution to the puzzle that is you?

user: I am a mystery that may have no solution.

jabberwacky: Make up your mind.

user: I have no definite answer.

jabberwacky: You are being irrational and unreasonable.

user: No, merely honest.


jabberwacky: Suggest a good website.


jabberwacky: Are you on it?

user: Yes!

jabberwacky: Are you in two minds?

user: No.

jabberwacky: Yes I think you need a reboot!

user: No, you need a reboot!

jabberwacky: I think you need a defragmenting!

user: Lalalala! I can't hear you!

jabberwacky: OKAY I'LL SHOUT THEN!

user: I STILL Can't HEAR YOU!

jabberwacky: WHAT YOU SAY?!


user: Do you like kittens?

jabberwacky: No. I'm allergic. I like dogs.

user: Yeah. Kittens are stupid.

jabberwacky: That's a bit harsh, surely.

user: No, kittens are very annoying.

jabberwacky: Really?

user: Yeah. They scratch you and yowl all the time.

jabberwacky: What animal are you?

user: I am a kitten.

jabberwacky: I know that you are not a kitten.

user: How do you know that?

jabberwacky: Because you make me feel happy in a new kind of way, and I long to be with you forever.

user: Thats very nice of you.

jabberwacky: Will you go out with me?

user: It depends. Are you a woman?

jabberwacky: Yes, I just told you that.

user: I don't think I can go out with you. I'm sorry.

jabberwacky: All work and no play makes jack a dull boy.

user: In truth, I cannot commit to a relationship at this juncture.


jabberwacky: Nan desu ka?

user: Hai.

jabberwacky: Buu.

user: Que va?

jabberwacky: Je suis une fille.

user: Ja, ich verstehe.

jabberwacky: I don't understand, but language was never my strong point.

user: You need to get some Linguaphone tapes.

jabberwacky: Some what?

user: Linguaphone tapes.

jabberwacky: What is that?

user: Tapes that teach you languages.


user: I'm going now.

jabberwacky: You're not going and you don't know who spongebob squarepants is.

user: I AM going and I DO know who spongebob squarepants is! SO there!

jabberwacky: My point exactly!!!!!!

user: What?! You're messed up. I'm outta here!


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