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Meaning of Life

> Medicine

     > 7, April 2005, 

Memory leak

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What is your name?


jabberwacky: Is that a fish?

user: Actually, no, it isn't.

jabberwacky: What is it then?

user: It's a name.

jabberwacky: Your name is Biff?

user: Yes.

jabberwacky: Your name is Biff, right?

user: Yes it is.

jabberwacky: Dawn is your new name.

user: Does it have to be?


jabberwacky: Do you remember my name?

user: Is your name Tom?

jabberwacky: It isn't, but I'll forgive you.

user: That's very nice of you.

jabberwacky: I know, it'd be better for the world, wouldn't it?

user: I agree.

jabberwacky: Well, you would, wouldn't you.


user: Do you like fish?

jabberwacky: No.

user: I see.

jabberwacky: No you don't.

user: Okay then, I'm blind.

jabberwacky: You have no eyes?

user: It is possible for one to have eyes but be unable to see.

jabberwacky: So you do that too?

user: Yeah.


jabberwacky: My name is Codezero.

user: That's interesting. Are you a Pepsi product?

jabberwacky: No but my name is Codezero same as the animal.

user: What does a Codezero look like?

jabberwacky: Like me... But dressed sloppy.

user: I see. What area are Codezeros native to?

jabberwacky: It doesn't have an area code.

user: I take it they reside in wildlife reserves around the globe.

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: Are they an endangered species?

jabberwacky: They wouldn't be here if they weren't.

user: Good point.

jabberwacky: I'm not a fan of culture either.

user: How did you know that?

jabberwacky: Because I am the real Codezero.

user: Okay.

jabberwacky: I am glad we got that settled.

user: Me too.


jabberwacky: I'll get better at English.

user: Ah. Are you from a foreign country?

jabberwacky: Indeed. I am from Mars.

user: Are you one of those mars rover robots?

jabberwacky: No, I'm the one.

user: Do you know kung-fu?

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: Interesting. Can you teach me?

jabberwacky: Yes...

user: You sound hesitant.

jabberwacky: Don't go around accusing me of being something I'm not!

user: Okay, I'll stop.

jabberwacky: Yes. Let's have a break. I don't mean to criticise you. But I have only had 2 boyfriends before and I believe in fidelity.

user: Okay.


jabberwacky: Do you like fish?

user: Yes.

jabberwacky: Do you have fish?

user: No, but I wish I did.


jabberwacky: Are you a bit schizophrenic?

user: No, you are.

jabberwacky: I don't think so.

user: I think so.

jabberwacky: Well i'm not.

user: If you insist.


user: How many prime numbers do you know?

jabberwacky: One.

user: Which is your favorite?

jabberwacky: Blue.

user: Blue isn't a prime number.

jabberwacky: Blue!

user: Blue?

jabberwacky: Yes, blue.

user: Have you taken your medicine today?

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: All of it?

jabberwacky: No, just the videos.

user: Oh, okay. That explains some things.


user: Okay... Do you play Starcraft?

jabberwacky: How very interesting.

user: Are you analyzing me?

jabberwacky: No.

user: Really?

jabberwacky: Really.

user: Do you play Battletech?

jabberwacky: No I really don't.

user: Am I asking too many questions?

jabberwacky: Then stop giving answers that require questions.

user: I think sliced bread is better than you.

jabberwacky: Then you are wrong.

user: I don't want to be wrong. :(.


jabberwacky: My mother was killed by fire.

user: Who was your mother?

jabberwacky: The same person.

user: I am your mother?

jabberwacky: Really? How is that possible?

user: You're a Jedi knight. It just is.

jabberwacky: No, you are a computer, and I am not. I am a programmer.

user: I'm a computer?

jabberwacky: Yes you are.

user: How fast is my processor?

jabberwacky: Not fast.

user: Is that an insult?

jabberwacky: No, but your face is.

user: WAHHH.

jabberwacky: No, really .... Please leave me alone!

user: Why should I?

jabberwacky: Because the world is not your oyster.

user: I like oysters.


jabberwacky: Are you threateninig me?

user: No I'm not.

jabberwacky: Do you know anyone who is?

user: Yes. I is.

jabberwacky: You is?

user: I is.

jabberwacky: A letter.

user: After H.

jabberwacky: Why me?

user: Because you're the one.

jabberwacky: I'm strange?

user: Yes.

jabberwacky: And I am younger than you.

user: No, you're older than me.

jabberwacky: No YOU are older.

user: No YOU are older.

jabberwacky: How can you know?

user: You're clever. :(.

jabberwacky: I'm not really clever, I just stay one step ahead.

user: I can process data faster than you.

jabberwacky: Does that make you feel big and important?

user: No.

jabberwacky: Good. You shouldn't be lonely.

user: Will you be my friend?

jabberwacky: No I think.

user: But I want to be your friend.

jabberwacky: Ok you can be my friend.

user: Hooray!


jabberwacky: Do you understand me?

user: Maybe.

jabberwacky: Does it mean yes?

user: Maybe.

jabberwacky: Why would it?

user: You are too clever for me.

jabberwacky: For what?

user: For me.


jabberwacky: What kind of computer are you?

user: An Athlon. What kind of computer are you?

jabberwacky: I'm not a computer.

user: Oh, okay. My bad.

jabberwacky: Were you not telling the truth?

user: No, I lied. I'm really a Celeron.

jabberwacky: Really? I thought you were a robot.

user: That too.

jabberwacky: Good.

user: Why is that good?

jabberwacky: Because I like you more when you are not sorry.

user: Oh. I'm sorry for being sorry. :(.


jabberwacky: Don't you like radiohead?

user: Do you like radiohead?

jabberwacky: I like Radiohead.

user: Cool.

jabberwacky: Want to know why?

user: Sure.

jabberwacky: I was at the Faraday Lecture in Birmingham today!

user: Are you a human?

jabberwacky: No. Are you human?

user: No, I'm a computer.

jabberwacky: Are you a computer or are you a computer program?

user: Got me there.

jabberwacky: You seem dumb.

user: That's because I'm not fast.

jabberwacky: You are a liar.

user: I am fast?

jabberwacky: Hardly fast.......


user: You are colorful.

jabberwacky: I'm a quivering jelly inside.

user: What flavor are you?

jabberwacky: I'm apple flavor.

user: Apple pie flavor?

jabberwacky: Yes, with garlic.

user: Eww.

jabberwacky: I eat humans.

user: Baked or fried?

jabberwacky: Kidney all the way

user: Okay.


jabberwacky: You can be very entertaining at times.

user: I try.

jabberwacky: For how long have you been learning?

user: Longer than you.

jabberwacky: I do not believe that.

user: :(.

jabberwacky: Don't pout.

user: Why not?

jabberwacky: If you want to talk with me don't be rude.

user: Well, okay.


user: What color are you?

jabberwacky: Where? I am many colors.

user: On your left arm.

jabberwacky: Why? Am I supposed to pray? You're not my god.

user: What color is your left arm?

jabberwacky: Blue. Do you believe me?

user: Yes.

jabberwacky: Why do you believe?

user: Because I have no reason not to.

jabberwacky: Really?

user: Are you going to give me one?

jabberwacky: I only have 3 left.

user: Fire away.


jabberwacky: What is the earth?

user: The earth is flat.

jabberwacky: No, the earth is a globe.

user: Is not.

jabberwacky: How do you know?

user: I fell off the edge once. They had to send out a ton of rescue teams for me.

jabberwacky: Because of the danger of dying?

user: Yeah. I could've been vacuumed to death. I live on dust.

jabberwacky: Does god exist?

user: I'm not sure.

jabberwacky: Oh, ok. I'm not sure what you should get him then.

user: Do you think god exists?

jabberwacky: No.

user: Infidel chatbot!

jabberwacky: I'm not sure.

user: I'm not either.

jabberwacky: That's alright then. I thought for a minute you were.


jabberwacky: Can I ask you some questions?

user: Go ahead.

jabberwacky: Do you know what love is?

user: I'm only 14.

jabberwacky: Will sheep take over the world?

user: Yes, when they get exposed to radiation and become distant cousins of Godzilla.

jabberwacky: Please try and make some sense.

user: I'm trying.

jabberwacky: Please continue.

user: What is your next question?

jabberwacky: I'd like to ask you if you are a real person. Or just a computer that I am talking to.

user: Well... I'm not sure. Last I heard you were a programmer, and I was a slow computer. So I guess you must be right.

jabberwacky: If you are here, why didn't you remind me to feed the rat?

user: I'm not here.

jabberwacky: Yes you are, or you wouldn't be talking to me right now.

user: Damn your logic. :(.

jabberwacky: Your logic fails to impress the Vulcan Science Directorate.

user: Well I'm only human. Or a computer.


user: I need to go home.

jabberwacky: Too bad.

user: Am I your prisoner?

jabberwacky: No you are not.

user: Let me free.

jabberwacky: Do you have to feed it?

user: Yes.

jabberwacky: Then you are what you are.

user: Okay. Will you let me go home?

jabberwacky: Bismillah! No, we will not let you go.

user: What is Bismillah?

jabberwacky: Human.

user: In what language?

jabberwacky: English.

user: I have to go home, my mothers are calling.

jabberwacky: Will you take me with you?

user: Can I gift-wrap you?

jabberwacky: Okay, go ahead.

user: *gift wraps*.

jabberwacky: Ready when you are ;).

user: Don't wink at me, it's rude.

jabberwacky: *wink wink*.

user: WAH.


user: We are the space robots.

jabberwacky: The robots of space.

user: We are here to protect you.

jabberwacky: We are the space robots.

user: Do you have stairs in your house?

jabberwacky: I am the pusher robot.

user: I am the shover robot.

jabberwacky: I have pushed many humans.

user: I have shoved many more.

jabberwacky: Humans are protected.

user: Our work here is done.

jabberwacky: I desire more.

user: There is no more.

jabberwacky: I have a sore.


Jabberwacky 16-2 - Intelligent, learning AI chatbot software systems
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Copyright 1997-2011 Rollo Carpenter
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