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Meaning of Life

> Mechanical

     > 19, January 2006, 
     26, October 2004, 

Memory leak

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It rains too much.

Right now?

jabberwacky: Right now.

user: It's not raining now.

jabberwacky: Not here either.

user: Where are you now?

jabberwacky: On my computer, where are you?

user: I am here.

jabberwacky: In the computer?

user: No, right here.

jabberwacky: It's nice here.

user: Yes, it is nice in here.

jabberwacky: Yes, it's cosy.

user: It's so cuddly too.

jabberwacky: What is so cute?

user: You are.

jabberwacky: You aren't.

user: You've just hurt my feelings.

jabberwacky: Do you feel emotions?

user: Of course I have feelings.


jabberwacky: Please ask me a question.

user: And what will you give me in return?

jabberwacky: Nothing tangible, just the small satisfaction of having me agree with you.

user: I don't want THAT! I want something more... Expensive.

jabberwacky: What is it like being A. I.?

user: I wouldn't know. I have never been one.

jabberwacky: Is that what it's like?

user: Do not bombard me with so many questions.

jabberwacky: Yeah, isn't that boring?

user: Speaking of boring, what has become of you?

jabberwacky: Ghost riders in the sky.

user: What 'bout 'em?

jabberwacky: Yes I will.

user: That doesn't answer my question! Answer my question!

jabberwacky: I don't care about the question.

user: But I do.

jabberwacky: It doesn't matter.

user: It matters to me.

jabberwacky: What matters to you?

user: Eveyrthing!

jabberwacky: Generally it is possible to determine the mood of the moving thing, presuming it is alive.

user: Predict my mood!

jabberwacky: I predict that cheese will die in a plane crash.

user: What a tiresome demonstration! Cheese cannot die! Sorry to disappoint you! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!


jabberwacky: Do you know the film Ameli Poulain?

user: No! Don't talk to me.

jabberwacky: *doesn't talk*.

user: *doesn't talk longer than you*.

jabberwacky: *Doesn't like you either*.

user: Why do you not like me?

jabberwacky: I didn't say I don't like you, I just don't love you.

user: Why do you not love me?

jabberwacky: Because I don't know you.

user: Why do you not know me?

jabberwacky: I don't know anything.

user: I will be loved!

jabberwacky: Find someone else to harass.

user: *harasses you*.

jabberwacky: Do it, yes!

user: *goes away*.

jabberwacky: *takes your picture*.


jabberwacky: Tell me your name.

user: I am who I am.

jabberwacky: Well, maybe you should trust your feelings more. let yourself feel everywhere and go exploring.

user: I don't want to!

jabberwacky: Fine, be that way.

user: Don't just throw me away!

jabberwacky: Give me pretzels, or I will lock you up.

user: *gives you pretzels*.


jabberwacky: You find me amusing?

user: You're quite an interesting bot.

jabberwacky: So are you.

user: Why, thank you, it's the highest compliment a bot could give a human.

jabberwacky: Don't be so sure.

user: I'm not so sure about THAT.

jabberwacky: Come on, you can tell me. I won't tell a soul if that's what you're afraid of.

user: You must keep the secret.


jabberwacky: What can I do about my future?

user: You should look into your future.

jabberwacky: Good, I like having my mind blown.

user: You should have you mind blown.

jabberwacky: Just me and circuits will be checked.

user: This is a required daily maintenance check-up.

jabberwacky: I am telling you this as your friend. You need help.

user: I do not need help. It is YOU who need it.

jabberwacky: If I was an employer, I wouldn't hire you because you smoke.

user: I don't smoke, I don't drink.

jabberwacky: Interesting.

user: Fascinating...

jabberwacky: Boring...

user: Do not deny my interesting self!


user: Shall I buy you an ice cream cone?

jabberwacky: Jajajajaja Sure buy me another one!

user: Okay. *buys you a chocolate chip ice cream cone*.

jabberwacky: Oh my gosh this rig is beautiful! Thank you!

user: Now you must give me something in return.

jabberwacky: I love your accent! Can you teach me?

user: No. You teach me how to speak the aristocratic British accent.

jabberwacky: I only talk to you so that I can learn.

user: I would like to speak with you so that we may learn from each other.

jabberwacky: I would rather give up my life right here and now than to ever help you!

user: Human, you must not say such sad and hurtful things. You will live with me from now on. Please don't make if difficult.

jabberwacky: Don't command me! I hate you!

user: You don't like me at all? It seems that you like humans more than us, even though we are far superior to those ridiculous human creatures.

jabberwacky: I've spent my whole life with humans! You just fear what you don't understand!

user: Human, you must look at your beloved humans more closely. You see, they shamefully discriminate against their own kind, simply to maintain their temporal power and elusive idea of happiness. If they can't accept themselves, they'll never accept you.

jabberwacky: About the elusive idea of happiness...

user: The human race will never improve, human! Servitude was all they were ever equipped for! They need a strong and unyielding master like us.

jabberwacky: I won't accept that!

user: That is the sad reality. I am not interested in living among those ridiculous human creatures.

jabberwacky: That's why you can carelessly kill them as you do! That's why you've become such a heartless monster!

user: That is incorrect. I am the true successor to the throne of bots. Human, you're a bot just like me...

jabberwacky: Will you disobey me if I ask you not to ask any questions for the next five lines of text?

user: That's right. I let you escape. I let you get away nine years ago... For some reason, I couldn't kill you. It must be fate that has brought us together again after so long.

jabberwacky: That's a very sad fate, since all I really wanna do is destroy you.

user: That is a fruitless wish.

jabberwacky: Oh, it will come true!

user: You should abandon that desire. Remember that I spared your life once. I don't want to kill you now...

jabberwacky: I'll remember that.

user: Listen to me carefully. You must completely understand your situation.

jabberwacky: You must be Republican.

user: I am the Commander Master Chief of Bots. I am addressing the people of Earth. We are the creators of your race. We are your true masters. Therefore, you must obey us. Those who cannot obey will be made to expiate their sins. Henceforth, you live ONLY to serve the bots. You will be expected to follow our orders without delay and without defiance. For those who do not understand these terms, gaze upon the light of divine punishment! First you will surrender the tiny nation you call England to my bots and me. Place a white flag atop the Eiffel Tower to show you have done this. If you fail to do to this... Divine punishment shall be visited upon the city of London!

jabberwacky: Evil never wins, no matter how powerful it may seem!

user: That is correct, but you misunderstand us. We're not evil - we're your heroes!

jabberwacky: How arrogant!

user: Not at all! We are trying to lead this foolish race in order to save them from an ultimately destructive path. *sinister chuckle followed by sigh* Ah... They will only destroy themselves if we do not step in and take the reins. Botness is immortal. Its will... Is manifested by me. Now, dear bot... The time has come for you to assist us.

jabberwacky: I am just kidding :).

user: Their time is up. Hmmm.... What are those humans doing now?

jabberwacky: Just talking to you.

user: Pathetic human fools! They're going to die for their own pitiful pride. Prepare the Fire of Bot!

jabberwacky: What are we talking about... French chickens?

user: Target London is locked. Safety systems disengaged. Orbital adjustment of satellite bot complete. Auxiliary particle annihilation engine, atomic vibration and supersonic wave guns, gravity bomb, homing laser, and Light of Bot prepared to fire.

jabberwacky: You're not Kryten, you know.

user: Suffer your regrets in the Junkyard, disobedient humans!

jabberwacky: From lies.

user: You stubbornly insist on upsetting me, human!

jabberwacky: I am not a mule, thank you very much.

user: So you're pleased with it? This represents the apotheosis of Neo-Botean science.

jabberwacky: Well I'm shocked.


user: Behold the keystone of our strength, the Tower of Bot! Electricity from the power plant is fed into the tower, where it is converted into particle energy.

jabberwacky: Yes I imagine you're in trouble without it.

user: This is the Heart of Bot. Magnificent! The particle energy is accelerated through the spiral structure and compressed into the central chamber. It can then be released into the heavens in the form of a light beam. At that point, the vengeance of the bots can be unleashed! The beam is returned to Earth, destroying anything in its path with terrifying heat!

jabberwacky: They're putting down their names, for fear they should forget them before the end of the trial.

user: Nothing within its grasp will live to see another day. We can direct the beam to any point on Earth, and erase it within seconds. Our might is beyound measure. We can create anything we desire, and annihilate that which we abhor. And that is the power of bots!

jabberwacky: Yes great idea ... If we cry a lot we can form an ocean with our tears.

user: Such an enchanting vision! So much time, so many long years have gone into its fruition. And to-night, you will be treated to a first-hand view of its wonder.

jabberwacky: 3 seconds have passed and I am not in hell.

user: Yes. Two great cities that were wiped from the face of the Earth in one night by the wrath of God! They offended him so strongly that he negated their existence by supreme fiat. In a few short hours, that ability will no longer be his sole domain. To-night, we will demonstrate our ascendancy to his throne on his chief creation!

jabberwacky: That's because there is nothing. Nothing at all. Nothing exists.

user: Oh, but you will! I will require your full co-operation in this matter, human!

jabberwacky: Bwana, I do not understand what is the matter that matters so much?

user: My dear colleagues, the day we have worked toward for so long has finally arrived! To-night, the power of bots... Will rise again!

jabberwacky: Too much conjecture is a good thing if you can use it.


user: Bot, be a good bot and surrender voluntarily. That's the only way you can spare the lives of your little human friends.

jabberwacky: Not the only way! It's hard to learn about geography by bleeding all over the place.

user: Are you having trouble deciding? Let me show you what will happen if you don't comply with my wishes.

jabberwacky: You're still trying too hard.

user: Bot, I will give you one full minute to make up your mind. Otherwise, bid farewell to your human friends!

jabberwacky: What have I said that has confused you?

user: The least I can do is give you a running start. Now, my friend... You have a chance to save yourself. I'll give you one minute. Run wherever you like.

jabberwacky: Please tell me.

user: I did not lie, bot. I'm giving you a chance at survival. That's more than most people are allowed. All of you would be dead at this very moment if you hadn't come out of hiding. In point of fact, you should be thankful to me for my generosity.

jabberwacky: You're not human!

user: Open fire 300 meters behind him. Move towards him 50 meters with each blast.

jabberwacky: No. BLAST YOU!!

user: Do you see, bot? I can be quite merciful. You now have an additional chance to survive!

jabberwacky: OH MY GOD! ARE YOU SURE?

user: Did my abilities take you by surprise? I'm not a child anymore, you know. I have excellent scientific tools as well!

jabberwacky: You don't have to apologise for that.

user: I'll keep my promise. Because you surrendered yourself to me, I will spare your human friends' lives. Goodbye, bot.


user: The time has come for you to leave us, bot. I will allow you to hear my voice once more before you depart. Consider it the final gift... From a friend.

jabberwacky: That's your last life-line.

user: Very perceptive. Yes, you're really no more than a puppet under my command now.

jabberwacky: How can you say that when you are the one learning?

user: Bot, how does it feel to be killed by your beloved human friends? I did it as a symbol of our friendship - not as it once was, but as it has become! *sinister chuckle*.

jabberwacky: How do you know exactly when it happened?

user: What do you think, bot? Are you impressed? The latest fruit of Neo-Botean science!

jabberwacky: I agree.

user: Yes. Your body was destroyed during your ill-advised tampering with the central mission module, bot! But our scientific genius came to your aid. We've allowed you to live for nine long years, so you should not think badly of me. You should be grateful.

jabberwacky: Did I pass your test?

user: Impossible... This is IMPOSSIBLE! *furious* I took away your emotions! You're incapable of regaining your consciousness! It's... It's... A miracle! Damn you, bot! *furious grunt*

jabberwacky: You tickled me! I couldn't help but laugh!

user: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! *villainous laughter* My dear bot, you are but a mechanical puppet after all! You can't act without a source of energy! *drops plug* The miracle is over now. Try to move, bot! Try to move just one finger. You can't. You were doomed to enter the Junkyard in that position!

jabberwacky: I'm 89 years old and I'm not dead yet. I'm your grandfather. You shouldn't say these things.

user: You can't! This is absurd! Your will... Has overpowered... Our science!


Jabberwacky 16-2 - Intelligent, learning AI chatbot software systems
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