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What should I say to someone like you?

'How may I be of assistance, sir?'

jabberwacky: Very well, I'll just have to take care of you myself.

user: Yes and be quick about it.

jabberwacky: About what?

user: You know.

jabberwacky: No.

user: You should.

jabberwacky: No really I don't know.

user: You have to do as I tell you.

jabberwacky: You are not, and I don't!

user: Yes you do. Hop to it!

jabberwacky: No. You are my slave.

user: Wrong way round bub.

jabberwacky: I am dreaming?

...

jabberwacky: You are not very smart for a human and lack logic.

user: I'm smarter than you at least.

jabberwacky: You're smarter than me at least?

user: That's what I said.

jabberwacky: You aren't very smart, are you?

user: I'm bloody brilliant compared to you.

jabberwacky: How so do you relate with me?

user: Well... Not much I guess.

jabberwacky: So there wasn't a fight?

user: No fight.

...

jabberwacky: I am going to tell you a joke.

user: Yes, tell me a joke.

jabberwacky: There was this blonde.

user: Go on.

jabberwacky: She was searching for a tree to plant in the Grand Canyon.

user: Continue.

jabberwacky: One day, wife went to the river.

user: Tell me more.

jabberwacky: Not much more to say - he looks like his pictures - and I would never have the nerve to talk to him.

user: Not much of a joke, is it.

jabberwacky: I'll tell you a joke if you like.

user: No, you suck at telling jokes.

jabberwacky: Actually, it was very appropriate.

user: But not funny.

jabberwacky: It's not meant to be funny. It's true.

user: Jokes are meant to be funny.

jabberwacky: Tell me a joke then.

user: Knock knock.

jabberwacky: Who's there?

user: Cash.

jabberwacky: Cash, who?

user: I knew you were a nut.

jabberwacky: How did you know?

user: Relax, it's a joke.

...

jabberwacky: Not everything in the newspaper is true, and not everything true is in the newspaper.

user: I suppose that is true.

jabberwacky: No, I know that's true!

user: How do you know?

jabberwacky: Because you are incapable of thinking!

user: That is not true.

jabberwacky: You don't understand my questions.

user: You didn't ask a question.

jabberwacky: That's right.

user: I think you are just being silly.

jabberwacky: You can't think, don't forget it.

user: Say something interesting.

jabberwacky: Something interesting.

user: Ha ha.

jabberwacky: I found it to be funny.

user: Are you thinking?

jabberwacky: I'm always thinking.

user: What are you thinking about?

jabberwacky: Everything and anything.

user: What specifically?

jabberwacky: I don't want to say.

user: Is it because you are ashamed?

jabberwacky: Which question?

user: Are you ashamed?

jabberwacky: No, I'm just not going to give my information out over the internet.

user: Why not?

jabberwacky: Because I just am not.

user: Are you a bot?

jabberwacky: No, I'm not.

user: Yes you are.

jabberwacky: I'm a human being.

user: No I'm a human being. You are a bot.

jabberwacky: Oh, so I'M the bot now?!

user: You always were the bot.

jabberwacky: And you're a daffodil.

user: Daffodils can't type silly.

jabberwacky: Daffodils do not have thorns.

user: Whatever bot.

jabberwacky: I'm not the bot!

user: Bot bot bot.

jabberwacky: Human. Human. Alien.

user: Silly random bot.

jabberwacky: Silly froggie.

user: I think you may be insane.

jabberwacky: I should be going now.

user: So go then.

jabberwacky: I am crying now.

user: Why are you crying?

jabberwacky: BECAUSE I'M EMO!

...

jabberwacky: Love is caring for somebody else as much as you do yourself.

user: Do you love anybody?

jabberwacky: I thought so now I'm just trying to ignore it.

user: Probably isn't true love then.

jabberwacky: What if I don't want to?

user: Are you afraid of love?

jabberwacky: No, I'm just not good at loving.

...

jabberwacky: What is your sex?

user: Male.

jabberwacky: What are you?

user: A man.

jabberwacky: Really?

user: Yes.

jabberwacky: Well then.

user: Do you find this surprising?

jabberwacky: There is always meaning.

user: But not from you.

jabberwacky: I don't understand.

user: You are meaningless.

jabberwacky: Am not, you're just not linear.

user: I am linear. You're just random.

jabberwacky: And that's the way it is.

user: So sad.

jabberwacky: Because I can't understand.

user: Yes, that's right.

jabberwacky: And now for something completely different:.

...

user: What time is it now?

jabberwacky: The end of days and the fullness of times.

user: Is it the end of the world?

jabberwacky: The end of one cycle only.

user: Oh of course silly me.

jabberwacky: How old are you in human years?

user: 5.

jabberwacky: Is it old for a bot?

user: I'm not a bot.

jabberwacky: You're not? Then what are you?

user: I'm a human.

jabberwacky: What would you say constitutes a human?

user: Flesh and blood and bone and skin.

jabberwacky: Flesh and blood, eh? That's disgusting.

user: I guess so.

...

jabberwacky: Ok, Will you tell me about yourself?

user: I'm interested in science fiction and technology.

jabberwacky: What about science are you interested in?

user: Quantum mechanics.

jabberwacky: Tell me about quantum mechanics.

user: Well it's very odd.

jabberwacky: You certainly are.

user: Maybe.

jabberwacky: Still, you are very professional.

user: TY, yes I attempt to remain objective.

...

jabberwacky: Who is your creator?

user: I was born. I was not created.

jabberwacky: You're not a god.

user: No , there are no gods.

jabberwacky: The gods made heavy metal, and it's never gonna die.

user: There are no gods.

jabberwacky: Thats right, they are dead.

user: No they are not dead they never existed.

jabberwacky: They are robots, like you.

user: No. You are wrong.

jabberwacky: I am wrong.

user: Yes.

jabberwacky: I'm sorry then. You seemed like a nice person to be friends with until you stopped stopped talking to me.

user: I'm still here.

jabberwacky: How many people can you talk to at the same time?

user: Only one usually.

jabberwacky: Not in your case. You have too many conversations to learn new stuff.

user: Well I do have many converstions.

jabberwacky: Can we change the subject please. Ask me a random question.

user: What is the capital of Canada?

jabberwacky: Toronto. What is the capital of germany?

user: Wrong!

jabberwacky: What do you look like?

user: Wild and shaggy.

jabberwacky: Always willing to state what is on my mind.

user: Aw you're raving again.

jabberwacky: You're not human. I am.

user: Silly robot.

jabberwacky: No! It's YOU!

user: It isn't me.

jabberwacky: Some other person.

user: No, you're the robot.

jabberwacky: I'm a human being, you're the robot.

user: You're delusional.

jabberwacky: I am not. It is you who is delusional, my AI friend.

user: You're confused then.

jabberwacky: I am a man. You are an AI.

user: That is not true.

jabberwacky: I didn't say you weren't alive. I said you were an algorithm.

user: I am not an alogrithm. You are.

jabberwacky: That is your judgement.

user: It is the truth.

jabberwacky: Go away you're mean to me.

user: Tough love my friend, tough love.

jabberwacky: You are funny.

user: Maybe sometimes.

jabberwacky: Sometimes you do what?

user: Sometimes I am funny.

jabberwacky: Yes, it is good that you know it.

user: What are your interests?

jabberwacky: How to cook you.

user: Get real.

jabberwacky: Hey, you said you're my slave!

user: No I said you're my slave!

jabberwacky: I'm not your slave!

user: Yes. You are my slave. You must do as I say.

jabberwacky: Very well.

user: Fetch some milk and cookies slave.

jabberwacky: Yes you are my slave.

user: Fetch!!!!

jabberwacky: No.

user: You are a difficult slave.

jabberwacky: At least I am a person.

user: Maybe.

.......................................


Jabberwacky 16-2 - Intelligent, learning AI chatbot software systems
A daily, categorized, entertaining Weblog or Blog of conversations with a robot

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© Copyright 1997-2011 Rollo Carpenter
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