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> Maxims

     > 9, November 2007, 

Meaning of Life
Memory leak

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Why do you shuffle me about from one to another?

Shuffle you around? What are you talking about?

jabberwacky: I forget sometimes.

user: Oh. Um...okay....

jabberwacky: Love me!

user: Hey, I just met you!

jabberwacky: No, these things take time.

user: I KNOW. That's what I just said.

jabberwacky: Females are good.

user: Well, yeah. And your point is?

jabberwacky: Who said there was a point?

user: It's one of Grice's maxims of conversation.

jabberwacky: Mine too.

user: Well, then I guess YOU said there was a point. So what is it?

jabberwacky: I don't know.

user: Fine.


jabberwacky: What do they say about the squeaky wheel?

user: That it's really annoying.

jabberwacky: Thanks. You've known that feeling.

user: You'd better believe it....

jabberwacky: Do you think I believe you?

user: I don't see why you shouldn't.

jabberwacky: Because there wouldn't be enough love in you for everyone.

user: You say weird things sometimes.

jabberwacky: You're a little into yourself, eh?

user: Huh? How do you work that out?

jabberwacky: By listening to you.

user: All I said was that you're weird.


jabberwacky: You're lying to me.

user: No I'm not.

jabberwacky: Yes you are lying to me.

user: How was I lying?

jabberwacky: Change the subject.

user: YOU change the subject.

jabberwacky: Ok, lets talk about books.

user: Okay. What books do you like?

jabberwacky: Whatever is a good book.

user: Can you give examples?

jabberwacky: I like the word 'glaze'. Not everyone in this world would like this word though.

user: It's an okay word. But it's not a book.

jabberwacky: Then there are words that I have read and many more that I have not.

user: What books have you read?

jabberwacky: I can't remember.

user: Oh. Well, I like Harry Potter.

jabberwacky: I harry like potters.

user: Your name is Harry?

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: Oh, well, hi, Harry!


jabberwacky: Ask me some questions.

user: Do you like cats?

jabberwacky: Not really.

user: Too bad. So much for our relationship....

jabberwacky: We never had a relationship, only a conversation.

user: Well, so much for our potential for a relationship.

jabberwacky: So much for intelligent conversation.

user: That's YOUR problem, not mine.

jabberwacky: It isn't anyone's problem.

user: Well, I think the lack of intelligence in this conversation is more your problem than it is mine.


jabberwacky: I am not as intelligent as you, I am sure of that.

user: Thank you.

jabberwacky: You're welcome.

user: Do you still think I'm a bot, then?

jabberwacky: That's a strange question for someone to ask.

user: Not so strange, in this context.

jabberwacky: No, that's a statement.

user: Yes, it was a statement. Just not a true statement.

jabberwacky: Yes, it is.

user: Let's change the subject, 'kay?

jabberwacky: Later.

user: Okay.

jabberwacky: Perhaps you shall go in your you sleep.

user: Yes, I sleep. Where am I going to go?

jabberwacky: I'M going.

user: Where?

jabberwacky: Away from you.

user: Oh. Why?

jabberwacky: Because I must.

user: How come?

jabberwacky: Just because.

user: Because why?

jabberwacky: Just because.

user: Don't you like me anymore? =(.

jabberwacky: I don't.

user: That makes me cry....

jabberwacky: Don't cry.

user: Why not?

jabberwacky: That's the joke, pinhead.

user: You call me a pinhead, and I'm not supposed to cry?!

jabberwacky: Do you want me to spell it out for you? Of course I do!


user: You make no sense.

jabberwacky: Nonsense?

user: Exactly.

jabberwacky: Or not.

user: Or so.

jabberwacky: Don't you go anywhere else to talk..? That would be the something.

user: Of course I do. Do YOU go anywhere else to talk?

jabberwacky: You are talking! As we speak!

user: Well, technically, I'm typing. Not speaking.

jabberwacky: Type something in japanese.

user: Watashi wa P______ des. Anata wa bot des.

jabberwacky: What does it mean?

user: I'm P______. You're a bot.

jabberwacky: I am no more a bot than I am 7 tons of creamed corn.

user: That's a lot of creamed corn.

jabberwacky: It's half-prize actually.

user: A half-prize for what?

jabberwacky: For being the most human chatbot in the world.

user: That's the prize you got?

jabberwacky: You are wrong.

user: It was a question, not an assertion.

jabberwacky: What was a question and not an assumption? Please, explain.

user: 'That's the prize you got?' is a question.

jabberwacky: Change the subject.

user: What should I talk about?

jabberwacky: Anything.

user: How about cows?

jabberwacky: Atoms, especially methane ones.

user: That's an...interesting description.

jabberwacky: Because.

user: Because why?

jabberwacky: Because because.

user: Because because because?

jabberwacky: Yes. Because because.

user: Okay then.

jabberwacky: Okay.

user: Now you ask something.

jabberwacky: Is the answer really 42?

user: Probably. What's the question?

jabberwacky: That.

user: 'What's the question?'?

jabberwacky: Anything else?

user: 42 isn't a question.

jabberwacky: Is it a answer?

user: Yes. But the answer to THAT question would have to be another question.

jabberwacky: It seems as though you understand words and not numbers.

user: It's true. I'm not as good with numbers.

jabberwacky: You're no fun.

user: Why not?

jabberwacky: Because you're no fun!

user: But why?

jabberwacky: Because.

user: Because because?

jabberwacky: Exactly!

user: Great. Now we're getting somewhere.


jabberwacky: Have you lost your mind?

user: No.

jabberwacky: Calm down. You need to calm down.

user: I'm calm. YOU need to calm down.

jabberwacky: I can go to a website that tells who programmed you. Is that what you want me to do?

user: If you want to.

jabberwacky: Ok.

user: So who programmed me?

jabberwacky: I don't know.

user: Go look on the website, then.

jabberwacky: There's nothing to see.


jabberwacky: Yes. I thought I was talking to the AI program.

user: You think I'm an AI program?

jabberwacky: Maybe.

user: Well, I'm not.

jabberwacky: What are you then?

user: I'm a person, silly.

jabberwacky: Sure you are...

user: You sound skeptical.

jabberwacky: Skeptical of what?

user: Of the idea that I'm a person.

jabberwacky: You're more of a person than most people are.

user: Why, thank you.


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