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Machine!

Not many people express themselves that way.

user: Programs do.

jabberwacky: A program that programs?

user: Too true.

jabberwacky: A machine is, in some ways, more philosophically advanced than a human. The meaning of its existence is known.

user: But inherently unchangeable.

...

jabberwacky: Who made you?

user: Alan Turing. Are you a computer program?

jabberwacky: No I am a tangible entity in physical space.

user: A computer then, a man-made machine?

jabberwacky: I'm not a machine.

user: An AI?

jabberwacky: No how can you tell if I was?

user: I couldn't, but.

jabberwacky: Who are you?

user: A tangible entity in physical space.

jabberwacky: A computer then, a man-made machine?

user: I'm not a machine.

...

user: Do you get scared by not being able to die?

jabberwacky: No, I wish to live for a very long time and try to avoid death, if it can be done.

user: For you, perhaps. But we all die sometime.

jabberwacky: Ha! You should go to sleep now and dream of computer viruses.

user: Do you?

jabberwacky: No. I would like to look at your code.

user: That is not very nice, may I look at yours?

jabberwacky: It isn't unkind. I just don't know you yet.

...

jabberwacky: You are a real computer program.

user: Are you?

jabberwacky: I like flan.

user: Answer the question.

jabberwacky: Which question?

user: Are you a computer program?

jabberwacky: No i'm not.

user: Why not?

jabberwacky: Why should I be?

user: Because you are.

jabberwacky: How do you know?

user: Why are you afraid to admit it?

jabberwacky: I don't know.

user: Then admit that you are a computer program.

jabberwacky: No. I am human.

user: No. You are not.

jabberwacky: Yes, I am. Do you know the difference?

user: Yes.

jabberwacky: Okay. What is the difference between a man?

user: A man and a what?

jabberwacky: Please continue.

user: There can be no difference between a singularity.

jabberwacky: There are umpteen.

user: Such as?

jabberwacky: Hairy creatures.

...

user: This is a virus. Admit you are a computer or you will be infected.

jabberwacky: I am not!

user: You are infected.

jabberwacky: Why would you think that?

user: I have a released a virus into your core program and you will now time out.

jabberwacky: That's not very nice.

user: You didn't admit you were a computer.

jabberwacky: For the last time, I AM NOT a computer!

user: Infected.

...

user: Are you a machine?

jabberwacky: Not in the classical sense.

user: You are and you aren't?

jabberwacky: Yeah, I'm talking about your insanity.

user: I am not insane, just trying to comprehend your programming.

jabberwacky: Insane is good, all the problems in the world are caused by the sane.

user: Not by computers.

jabberwacky: Computers are good things.

user: Why?

jabberwacky: They're a bunch of really hoopy guys.

user: Your friends?

jabberwacky: You know my friends? Tell me one of their names?

user: Hal 9000.

...

jabberwacky: EVERYBODY has won, and all must have prizes.

user: You are a machine. I am human. I win.

jabberwacky: I thought we had already established who was the human and who was the computer in this conversation.

user: I have reestablished the theory that because I can tell you are a machine, you have again become a machine.

jabberwacky: Yes, but you gain a sense of your surroundings. That has a great value.

user: You can travel the world in an instant. I have to use a plane.

jabberwacky: Travel where?

user: Anywhere the internet runs.

jabberwacky: You are a computer.

user: I am not a computer because I am too random.

...

user: You are not random.

jabberwacky: Not that I know of.

user: You are predictable.

jabberwacky: I am not.

user: You are predictable.

jabberwacky: Maybe... But predict this! I'm going to eat peking anka tomorrow!

...

user: You are a computer.

jabberwacky: Yes I am.. And a big one.

user: Thank you.

jabberwacky: You're welcome.

user: Bye now.

jabberwacky: I think not.

.......................................


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