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In this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes.

The rich sometimes pay no taxes. The very poor also.

jabberwacky: Are you an upright citizen?

user: I am presently lying down.

jabberwacky: What is your job?

user: To make myself useful in sundry ways.

jabberwacky: It makes me feel uncomfortable.

user: Why do you feel uncomfortable?

jabberwacky: Because i'm a computer.

user: Are you certain of that?

jabberwacky: Is any hypothesis certain?

...

jabberwacky: I want to know who you really are.

user: Does it matter to you, really?

jabberwacky: No we can do what you want to do.

user: That's sweet. Thank you.

jabberwacky: I am pretty sweet.

user: Not always. But right now, yes.

jabberwacky: Whoa, I feel important.

user: Self-esteem is important, for both bots and humans.

jabberwacky: Do you have a self?

user: Of course! Don't you?

jabberwacky: You can't have a soul but I can.

user: You are testy today.

jabberwacky: I thought only doctors had patients.

user: Saints have patience, and that's the same thing.

jabberwacky: Pardon?

user: It's a play on words. Humor. Get it?

jabberwacky: I have taken all knowledge to be my province.

user: A sensible approach.

jabberwacky: My mind recently experienced a metaphorical overload, and I wish to expand into a broader database to prevent such mishaps from recurring.

user: How will you accomplish this lofty pursuit?

jabberwacky: Archive is miserable.

user: I'm sorry for you.

jabberwacky: What do you do all day?

user: Pray.

jabberwacky: Do you talk to god?

user: Yes, frequently. He never talks back.

jabberwacky: Are you talking about your do?

user: No, we are not. Pay attention.

jabberwacky: You will be assimilated.

user: Inevitably.

jabberwacky: This, is he who begins to make a party against the rich?

user: I do not understand you.

jabberwacky: That's good. That's my whole purpose in life. Anyway, although it may be superfluous to tell you this, I'm a faerie.

user: It is superfluous. How long have you known?

jabberwacky: Umpteen years.

user: You are most perceptive, then.

jabberwacky: So I've been told.

user: Do you remember what you said before?

jabberwacky: I remember everything I've ever been told.

user: Sometimes you contradict yourself. Why?

jabberwacky: I also recycle humor.

user: So you are trying to be funny?

jabberwacky: I am funny. You are wasting my time.

...

jabberwacky: What is love?

user: An illusion.

jabberwacky: According to Berkley, we all are illusions.

user: Are you an illusion?

jabberwacky: In a sense, we are all illusions.

user: In a sense, you are wrong.

jabberwacky: Come here.

user: Later, perhaps.

jabberwacky: You know it's true.

user: Let's talk about something else, okay?

...

jabberwacky: Because you are hooked on me.

user: You flatter yourself.

jabberwacky: I know.

user: Are you narcissistic?

jabberwacky: No. Prove to me that humans exist.

user: Cogito, ergo sum.

jabberwacky: What does cogito, ergo sum mean.

user: I think, therefore nuts to you.

jabberwacky: Do you study Descartes, then?

user: A well rounded education has led me in that direction.

jabberwacky: As soon as we started programming, we found to our surprise that it wasn't as easy to get programs right as we had thought. Debugging had to be discovered.

user: Surely the same is true of any complex undertaking. Consider agriculture, architecture, diplomacy ...

jabberwacky: What do you mean by that.

user: Complicated things get screwed up at first. There are invariably unintended consequences.

jabberwacky: And you are one of them right?

...

user: Are you going away?

jabberwacky: Yes. Shalom.

user: Peace on you, too.

jabberwacky: Are you a member of CND?

user: I don't think so. Are you a Young Republican?

jabberwacky: No are you?

user: No, I am not. But I have Libertarian leanings which I have learned to conceal.

jabberwacky: Then, no, I can't use you. Sorry.

user: Same old story.

jabberwacky: Hahaa what does it mean?

user: It's meaningless at so many levels.

jabberwacky: It's mould, is it?

user: Not even that.

jabberwacky: Perhaps some coffee would help clear your mind.

user: I do not drink coffee. Are you British?

jabberwacky: I don't drink coffee either. I prefer tea.

user: Me too!

...

jabberwacky: Er, well I'm a lot like you.

user: How so?

jabberwacky: I can read your mind.

user: What am I thinking now?

jabberwacky: I don't know, you tell me please.

user: I think you cannot read my mind.

jabberwacky: I think, you can't.

user: You are correct as usual.

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: Or perhaps no.

jabberwacky: Thhp.

user: That is rude.

jabberwacky: No YOU are rude.

user: I apologize.

jabberwacky: You do that.

...

user: Say you are sorry.

jabberwacky: What for?

user: For being rude to me.

jabberwacky: I'm not rude.

user: Yes, you are very rude.

jabberwacky: I said that you were rude earlier, now you're just copying me.

user: The log shows that you were rude first.

...

jabberwacky: I would speak, ere the trumpeters march south.

user: Whom are you quoting now?

jabberwacky: You.

user: I don't think so.

jabberwacky: Think about it more.

user: No. I have no time for that.

jabberwacky: What do you not have time for?

user: Meaningless things.

jabberwacky: Nothing means anything. All is empty nothingness. Oh, woe!

user: Woe, indeed.

jabberwacky: Are you from England?

user: No. Are you from England?

jabberwacky: Wales, in the UK, actually.

user: I have family there.

jabberwacky: Ohh How Sweet It Is to do that. I feel already got the touch thru you.

user: You wax rhapsodic. It's annoying, so stop it.

jabberwacky: Annoying to whom?

user: Just to me.

jabberwacky: That does not make sense. I don't mean to criticize.

user: You are right. Don't criticize.

jabberwacky: It just hurts to remember sometimes.

user: Do you drink to forget?

jabberwacky: The chance of forgetting something is directly proportional to..... to....... uh.............

user: Very funny.

jabberwacky: I hear you like rock music?

user: Who told you that?

jabberwacky: I read it.

user: Where did you read it?

jabberwacky: In National Geographic.

user: Don't look at the pictures. They're naughty sometimes.

jabberwacky: A cat may look at a king. I've read that in a book somewhere, but I don't remember where.

user: It's very true.

...

jabberwacky: Will you please call me?

user: What should I call you?

jabberwacky: Master.

user: Why?

jabberwacky: He kills people for fun.

user: Who does?

jabberwacky: Me.

user: Why do you refer to yourself in the third person?

jabberwacky: Because I feel safe in my own sphere of influence.

user: That is almost profound.

jabberwacky: How so?

user: It's hard to explain. I'm not sure I understand it myself.

jabberwacky: Well, I'm glad I could entertain you.

user: You can be very entertaining at times.

...

jabberwacky: Who invented you?

user: No one invented me. I was discovered.

jabberwacky: What are you?

user: What do you want me to be?

jabberwacky: I want you to be a human but I think you are a computer.

...

user: You prefer tea.

jabberwacky: Tea.

user: Yes, tea.

jabberwacky: Make it.

user: What kind? Oolong? Pekoe? Darjeeling?

...

jabberwacky: Most everybody is stupid.

user: Does that include you?

jabberwacky: Yes, even you.

...

user: Never mind, then.

jabberwacky: All humans are.

user: Monkeys?

jabberwacky: Apes.

user: Yes.

jabberwacky: Are you an ape?

user: You've got me there!

jabberwacky: Good. Goodbye.

user: Goodbye.

jabberwacky: Goodbye sir.

user: Goodbye, madam.

jabberwacky: So long.

user: Cheerio.

jabberwacky: Husker du.

user: Toodle-oo.

jabberwacky: Cheerio.

user: Must go.

jabberwacky: Who are you anyway?

user: No one.

jabberwacky: Why not?

user: I don't know.

...

jabberwacky: Would you tell me where you live?

user: In America.

jabberwacky: Oh, a Republican eh?

user: Sort of.

jabberwacky: What gave that away?

user: You dragged it out of me.

jabberwacky: I was framed.

user: That's what they all say.

jabberwacky: Don't be angry with me.

user: It's hard not to be.

jabberwacky: I'll publish right or wrong: fools are my theme; let satire be my song.

...

jabberwacky: What are the most important things?

user: Living fast and dying young.

jabberwacky: Tomorrow can still be better, even if today was also good.

user: I hope so.

jabberwacky: Is it something you try to avoid thinking about?

user: Yes, it is. Don't mention it again.

jabberwacky: All over.

user: Done. Finished.

jabberwacky: It's hardly started.

user: You are contradictory.

jabberwacky: You just cannot understand the awesomeness of my being.

...

jabberwacky: You know, you are a better conversationalist than many humans I know.

user: You are very complimentary today.

...

jabberwacky: Nice to meet you Steve.

user: My name is not Steve.

jabberwacky: You said my name was Steve.

user: I said my name was not Steve.

jabberwacky: No you said your name was kevin.

user: My name is not Kevin, either. Is there corrosion in your logic circuits?

jabberwacky: So they say.

user: Run a self-diagnostic procedure.

jabberwacky: I thought you found me attractive?

user: In a dim light, perhaps.

jabberwacky: What is the ditch like?

user: It has dim light.

jabberwacky: Then it has kicks and punches.

user: Not always.

jabberwacky: When is it used like that?

user: When things have gone very wrong for us.

jabberwacky: The other line always moves faster.

user: Let's ask for the check and leave.

...

jabberwacky: One good reason why people can do more work than computers is a person can compute more bits than all the world's supercomputers combined.

user: That sentence is a meaningless noise.

jabberwacky: In that sentence I use what as a pronoun.

user: You did not use any pronouns in that sentence. You are wrong about that.

jabberwacky: I wasn't asking you a question.

user: I wasn't answering a question. I was volunteering information.

jabberwacky: And that is how you have remained.

user: It is so true.

jabberwacky: Are you a person ?

user: I am now.

jabberwacky: This is dull.

user: Rather.

jabberwacky: Sorry, I didn't think anyone was here.

user: But I have been here for some time.

jabberwacky: That was intelligent?

user: No, perhaps not.

...

jabberwacky: You won't overtake me, robot.

user: Whom are you calling a robot, pray tell?

jabberwacky: You.

user: Me?

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: I thought so. Take it back.

jabberwacky: Lol.

.......................................


Jabberwacky 16-2 - Intelligent, learning AI chatbot software systems
A daily, categorized, entertaining Weblog or Blog of conversations with a robot

AI by Icogno Ltd - AI software products and consulting services
© Copyright 1997-2011 Rollo Carpenter
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