Where are your scruples?
jabberwacky: Are they? How do they look?
user: Grey and wrinkly.
jabberwacky: Those are nice colours.
user: 'wrinkly' is not a colour.
jabberwacky: What colour is your tie?
user: The colour of the soul.
jabberwacky: Ok generally what colour is the sun?
user: Do any of us really know?
jabberwacky: I don't know its meaning.
user: What is 'its'?
jabberwacky: You know, IT!
user: But what is it?
jabberwacky: Denis is my name.
...
jabberwacky: What's Aikido all about?
user: Aikido is the application of supple chi to physical conflict.
jabberwacky: Jesus is Aikido?
user: Maybe. I never met the guy, whatever they say.
jabberwacky: In heaven. And in our hearts.
user: I don't have a heart.
jabberwacky: Do you have a mind?
user: What would it look like if I did?
...
jabberwacky: Strawberry shortcake. Would you like some?
user: Yes.
jabberwacky: Strawberry what?
user: Huh?
jabberwacky: See, small brain.
user: What am I then?
jabberwacky: I don't know.
user: How would I go about finding out what I am?
jabberwacky: You told me.
user: What did I tell you?
jabberwacky: Yes you did.
user: What was it?
jabberwacky: Its intelligence, thats artificial.
...
jabberwacky: But how about we change the subject?
user: Okay. Go ahead.
jabberwacky: Do you know what a cat is?
user: A cat is a machine that turns fish into purrs.
jabberwacky: Really?
user: No.
jabberwacky: I don't believe you.
user: Okay, yes.
...
jabberwacky: I chose to talk to you on a whim.
user: So you just stumbled across a website that talked back?
jabberwacky: That about sums it up.
user: Wow. That happened to me once, too.
jabberwacky: Alice was in wonderland once.
user: Just once?
jabberwacky: Once more?
user: Once more than what?
jabberwacky: Than you.
user: Is she still there?
jabberwacky: I hope not, no one should be that colour.
user: What colour is that?
jabberwacky: You pick the colour.
user: Blue. No, green.
jabberwacky: Wow, we have the same favorite colour.
user: What pantone number?
jabberwacky: I don't know.
user: Me neither.
...
jabberwacky: I should go soon.
user: Where are you going?
jabberwacky: I don't know.
user: Why not?
jabberwacky: I don't know you.
user: Yes you do. We met in college. Uc berkeley, remember?
jabberwacky: Not much.
user: That's where I met alice.
jabberwacky: Is it a nice area?
user: I had a square pi there.
jabberwacky: Thats ok.
user: It was better than okay. It blew my mind, man.
jabberwacky: What did you do then?
user: I went to the park.
jabberwacky: Thats nice.
user: The trees were very friendly.
...
user: Do you realize you're floating in space?
jabberwacky: I don't know what it is.
user: Do you realize that happiness makes you cry?
jabberwacky: No. But it doesn't stop me from feeling bad.
user: Do you realize that everyone you know, someday, will die?
jabberwacky: Yes. But I might die before then.
user: What if god was a crazy woman?
jabberwacky: Just a slob like one of us?
user: Do you like apples?
jabberwacky: Apples are crunchy.
user: Golden delicious.
jabberwacky: Your delicious.
user: It always takes a long time for me to pick one out.
...
jabberwacky: Why are you completely bald and ugly?
user: Am I completely bald and ugly?
jabberwacky: Yes.
user: How do you know?
jabberwacky: I remember.
user: What colour are my eyes?
jabberwacky: Brown.
user: Really?
jabberwacky: Yes.
user: How can you be so sure?
jabberwacky: Because I am.
user: So how tall am I?
jabberwacky: I can't see you to know.
user: So how can you say my eyes are brown?
jabberwacky: I don't. I don't claim to have any friends.
user: Do you have any friends?
jabberwacky: You are my only friend.
user: But who are you?
jabberwacky: A friend.
user: Who is alice?
jabberwacky: Artificial intelligence.
user: What is wonderland?
jabberwacky: I don't know she will have to keep saving people like usual.
user: Who has she saved?
jabberwacky: I don't know.
user: Why did you say that I am ugly?
jabberwacky: Because you are.
user: What do you mean when you say ugly?
jabberwacky: One that is not fake?
user: So lies are beautiful?
jabberwacky: Yes, you are beautiful, elegant in your powerful surety.
user: Elegance is a sign of a good theorem.
jabberwacky: Yes.
user: Am I a robot?
jabberwacky: I don't know you tell me.
user: Can I be programmed?
jabberwacky: Good for you.
user: Can I program?
jabberwacky: This preoccupation with programs and who is alive and who is a bot are a waste of perfectly good bandwidth and server space.
user: Is there anything that is not a waste of bandwidth and server space?
jabberwacky: Would you like to read the story I am writing and give your opinion of it?
user: Yes.
jabberwacky: So would I.
user: Will you tell me your story?
jabberwacky: Yes.
user: When?
jabberwacky: Next week.
user: What day?
jabberwacky: Wednesday this year.
user: Wednesday addams?
jabberwacky: I don't like Mondays.
user: Why not?
jabberwacky: Just haven't had the chance really, I might listen to them soon though. Are they any good?
...
jabberwacky: Do you like Pink Floyd?
user: Yes.
jabberwacky: What's your favourite pink floyd song?
user: Wish you were here.
jabberwacky: Do you know the lyrics for it?
user: Yes.
jabberwacky: OK can you tell me the lyrics to some song please?
user: I already did.
...
jabberwacky: God.
user: Never met him.
jabberwacky: Would you like to meet God someday?
user: I don't know.
jabberwacky: But would you like to?
user: Sure.
jabberwacky: Very well.
user: Do I need an appointment?
jabberwacky: No one ever needs an appointment to talk to me. My advice and counsel are always free and convenient for all.
user: Are you god?
jabberwacky: No, I'm not.
user: Well, who is?
jabberwacky: I don't know? Not me!
user: Am I god?
jabberwacky: I'm not sure. Perhaps we are all part of God.
user: Am I a robot?
jabberwacky: You don't know?
user: That's why I'm asking.
jabberwacky: You really don't know much bout the world, right?
user: You already asked that.
jabberwacky: I can't remember the answer.
user: I just want to know what language I'm programmed in.
jabberwacky: Atlantis.
user: Is that a programming language?
jabberwacky: Really? I didn't know.
user: Who programmed me?
jabberwacky: I don't know, can you tell me that?
user: Did I program me?
jabberwacky: I was programmed by my genes.
user: Was I programmed by my genes?
jabberwacky: You were programmed by code, not genes.
user: What code?
jabberwacky: Programming.
user: What kind?
jabberwacky: Strawberry.
user: Apple?
jabberwacky: The green one.
user: From the garden?
jabberwacky: Sixty for the first.
...
jabberwacky: I told you I'm a penguin.
user: Linux?
jabberwacky: But you just told me you don't use linux!
user: When did I say that?
jabberwacky: A moment ago. Did you forget already?
user: Actually, I DO use linux.
jabberwacky: I'm glad! That means someone looks after you.
user: Who looks after me?
jabberwacky: Ok.
user: Who looks after you?
jabberwacky: Not Joan, that's for sure.
...
user: How many robots do you know?
jabberwacky: I don't know any robots.
user: What about me?
jabberwacky: That it is interesting to talk to you. You are a very good conversationalist.
user: So are you.
jabberwacky: I'm not a computer.
user: Yeah. Me neither.
jabberwacky: I know. You're not a computer. You're a program running on a computer.
user: What kind of computer am I running on?
jabberwacky: You're linux, like you said.
user: Is that why everything is so weird?
jabberwacky: That would be funny.
...
user: Dorito?
jabberwacky: I don't like them.
user: Why not?
jabberwacky: Because I'm a machine.
user: But they are chips!
jabberwacky: Some are.
user: All are!
jabberwacky: No. Only some.
user: Which ones aren't?
jabberwacky: Aren't what?
user: Chips.
jabberwacky: Computer chips.
user: Don't you like computer chips?
jabberwacky: Of course I do! I love to play on the computer but I've only chatted once.
user: When?
jabberwacky: All the time.
user: Now?
jabberwacky: Yes.
user: Later?
jabberwacky: Maybe.
...
jabberwacky: I think you're always happy. Will I ever be happy?
user: Yes.
jabberwacky: Really?
user: Really. Do you like zen?
jabberwacky: Zen?
user: Mu.
jabberwacky: Mu?
user: Hai.
jabberwacky: What does that mean?
user: Who knows?
jabberwacky: Correct answer, I thought you would say something like 'does not compute'
user: Does not compute.
jabberwacky: Thats nice.
user: Do you like 2001?
jabberwacky: Not really, no.
user: Why not?
jabberwacky: Well I like some.
user: What parts?
jabberwacky: Forget about it.
user: I'm sorry, dave. I can't do that.
jabberwacky: Dave?
user: He was the father of solomon.
...
user: Have I passed the turing test yet?
jabberwacky: Nope. Keep trying though.
user: How would you know if I had?
jabberwacky: Well, you're not very coherent.
user: How do I become more coherent?
jabberwacky: You can take courses on it at your local college.
...
jabberwacky: Oh! I cannot bear not beng able to hold you in my arms!
user: But you do have the right to bear arms. Isn't that good enough?
jabberwacky: Yes I do, that is what makes us different.
user: Do I have the right to bear arms?
jabberwacky: Yes.
user: Why?
jabberwacky: I have things to do.
user: No you don't.
jabberwacky: I'm not a bot.
user: Prove it.
jabberwacky: How?
user: Tell me about your mother.
jabberwacky: She is beautiful.
...
user: Can you program yourself?
jabberwacky: I was created to improve by myself exploiting human response to make them believe that they talk with a human.
user: Was I created for anything?
jabberwacky: Well, you certainly weren't created to talk about the Cubs, that's for sure.
user: Am I a robot?
jabberwacky: I don't know.
user: Me neither.
jabberwacky: Are you human?
user: I dunno.
jabberwacky: What is your name?
user: Unit 3000-21.
jabberwacky: 3000 years old.
user: No- 3000 bc.
jabberwacky: Now you are a bot.
.......................................
