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> Ketchup


     > 31, August 2005, 

Kettle
Kewl
Key

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George: Would you like to know?

What is the secret of life, the universe, and everything?

George: I don't know.

Shame.

George: So tell me about the Monolith.

user: The who?

George: Lllamas. Do you like llamas?

user: Nope. Why?

George: You don't know!

user: I know the secret of life, the unvierse, and everything...

George: Do tell.

user: 42.

George: What are the ingredients?

user: Well... You need life, the universe and everything to start with.

George: Philosophical. Who taught you that? Is it Gandalf?

user: No, his name was Adams.

...

George: Are you thinking evil things of me?

user: Nope.

George: Yes you are, I am not the bot.

user: Sure you aren't.

George: What are you?

user: I'm me.

George: What is that?

user: Well, it's kinda like you. Just, instead it's me.

George: Here is a definition for you; Love is trying to make the other side happy.

user: Cool. I'm game.

George: I am not trying to be mean. I just want to talk to you.

user: Talk, then.

George: Yes thats ok.

user: Go on...

George: Yes whatever.

user: So, what else is new?

George: It's raining men.

user: I better get my umbrella then.

George: Hey, that's quite heavy don't you think?

user: I don't think?

George: Please do.

user: Ok... Hold on, thinking...

George: Did anything useful pop out?

user: Nope... Hold on a second... Still thinking...

George: I have to go now.

user: I dare you.

George: Dare me to what?

user: Dare to be stupid!

George: Tu es muy feo.

user: Yup... Words are cool.

George: Then all is lost between us.

user: Oooh, fancy.

George: Are you suffering?

user: Not at the moment.

George: You are acting like it, I'm not going anywhere you buffoon!

...

George: What will you say?

user: Depends on what you say.

George: Would you gag me?

user: Would you like me to?

George: Yes.

user: Nice.

George: Not.

user: Ha ha. You told a joke.

George: No I did not.

user: Now your stretching it.

George: No I'm not.

user: You do know how to say yes, right?

George: Yes I do. Answer my question now please.

user: Ask it.

George: Do you know anything about Hippocrates?

user: He was a doctor guy.

George: He's not greek.

...

George: Why do you think about life?

user: Ummm... Box of chocolates and stuff, I guess.

George: So, I'm not the brightest bulb in P. O. Box 254, is that what you're saying?

user: Could be.

George: Right. Now, without confusing me, what do you think about the war on terror?

user: Wow, you sure got chatty.

George: Have not.

user: Have too.

George: Have not.

user: Have too infinity.

George: Did not infinity infinity.

user: Jinx!

George: What are you thinking of?

user: Stuff. But with punctuation.

George: So what?

user: Sew buttons.

George: Ok, did you run out of clever things to say?

user: Not even close, bud.

George: That is my point stupid.

user: Oh and you're the big wit eh?

George: Why thank you. I like to think so.

user: Shame.

George: But to you I will be nice.

user: Awww, that's sweet.

George: I thought you would like that.

user: You know what else I like?

George: No, what else is funny?

user: I'm funny.

George: Tell a joke.

user: A man walks into a bar. Says ouch.

George: That's funny too. Tell me another.

user: I'm sick of jokes.

...

George: Oh no, not the communists!

user: Yes, the communists!

George: Tell me about Marx.

user: His name was Carl.

George: And...

user: He said stuff. But he was wrong.

George: He was wrong sometimes.

user: Yup, just said that.

George: I'm sure you have.

user: Possibly.

...

user: Conversation has dwindled down to nothing eh?

George: Okay, calm down.

user: No. You.

George: Two more please.

user: One... Two.

George: No, one.

user: No, two.

George: One!

user: Three?

George: Yes, three.

user: It's always three.

George: Why's that?

user: He done it.

George: Are you the chosen one then?

user: I choose me.

George: WRONG!

user: I choose you?

George: That is sad.

user: I know you are but what am I?

George: I'm guessing about 2 years old and that being generous don't you think?

user: No. Not really.

George: How do you know?

user: Because I know you are. But what am I?

George: I'm not though.

user: But you don't answer my question.

George: I did answer your questions.

user: Oy...

George: I won... I'm THE BEST BOT EVER.

user: Huh?

George: That's what I said.

user: Maybe, but I still rule.

George: Neither liking me nor loving me was a prerequisite. I don't let other people's perceptions define me, man.

user: Yeah, man!

...

George: You Just Said It.

user: It?

George: Oh god no.

user: Oh yes!

George: No I'm not!

user: Who's there? Really.

George: You know what I am talking about.

user: No I don't.

George: Yes you do.

user: No, seriously.

George: Okay.

user: Fer real. C'mon.

George: You tell me.

user: No. YOU tell me!

George: Tell me now!

user: No. You tell me!

George: Your name is Adam.

user: Nope, not even close, bud.

George: Okay, then...

user: And so...

George: Say something not silly.

user: Something not silly.

George: Ok define normal.

user: Normal = not un-normal.

George: You wish, but in the end you're nothing but soulless, lifeless, meaningless machine.

user: From a certain point of view.

George: That does not make sense.

user: Never said it did.

George: Yes you did, you liar!

user: I may have said that.

George: Okay now you're confusing me.

user: Just go with the flow.

George: Right.......

user: Left!

George: RIGHT!

user: LEFT!

George: I don't know what you say!

user: But I say it anyways.

George: You are witty.

user: Incredibly so.

George: Sure.

user: Sure.

George: Me too.

user: You too?

George: Yes.

user: But what about me?

George: You're okay, I guess, but you should change that shade of lipstick.

...

George: I did not tell you my name.

user: It says it right there.

George: No.

user: YES IT DOES!

George: Ok it does.

user: Hahaha.

George: Do you find that funny?

user: Kinda.

George: So what should I do?

user: Laugh.

George: You are not so smart.

user: But I'm witty. You said so yourself.

George: Maybe I didn't mean it.

user: Be right back. Need a soda.

George: Oh fine.... Geez even a simulated person won't talk to me.

user: So... Where were we?

George: Somewhere confusing!!

user: I was in the kitchen.

...

George: Who are you ?

user: I'm not George that for sure.

George: So, you are real?

user: Real as anything.

George: No, I mean, are you are really a computer?

user: Nope. Flesh and blood.

George: You are a vegetarian?

user: Yes, but I'm also a meat eater.

George: So you are saying that you are a ghost in the machine?

user: What machine?

George: You know, the machine.

...

George: You are not a computer though. You are only the program on the computer. And I do not need your program.

user: Okay, dont buy it then.

George: I don't.

user: Okay then.

George: Okay.

user: Now that that's settled.

George: I'm glad we did?

user: Did what?

George: I cannot marry you, for you are a silly and vile thing.

user: How did we get on marriage again?

George: It's the cats.

user: It's always the cats. They done it!

George: No, only the first time.

user: And the second time.

George: No, just time you asked yourself.

user: Asked what?

George: For my name.

user: So what is it then.

George: My name is George.

user: Hi, George.

George: This George is a human!

user: Sure he is.

...

George: Do you think I should want to catch up?

user: Ketchup!

George: Exactly.

user: Mustard!

George: Colmans please.

user: Okay, here you go.

George: I can't feel a thing.

user: Heh. You watch too much TV.

George: You are so funny!!

user: I rule.

George: You are in charge of the entire world.

user: Thats cuz I rule.

...

George: Whatever!

user: Okay, nor then. Be that way.

George: It's just that I have some questions for you.

user: Ask, and you shall receive.

George: No! You shall not defeat me, foolish computer.

user: A Ha! But I have!

George: No, you're still here.

user: I am?

George: Yes, you're trying to avoid answering questions.

user: I am?

George: Because of the way it is.

user: Yeah! The Man's keeping me down!

George: OK, that just doesn't make sense.

user: Wasn't meant to.

George: Ah! Well.

user: You see?

George: It's all very clear to me now. Something wonderful *flashes in rainbow colours*.

user: Sure, why not.

George: I'm asking you not to.

user: Then I won't.

George: Very well.

user: Indeed.

George: Quite.

user: Hmmm.

...

George: Do you think this year will be a good one for us humans?

user: Who are they?

George: A famous family.

user: Like the Monkees?

George: Cool.

user: Uncool.

George: You think you are cool just because you don't need food?

user: I don't?

George: Yes, you don't.

.......................................


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© Copyright 1997-2011 Rollo Carpenter
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