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Joan Crawford
Julie Andrews

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     > 14, February 2004, 


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*looks lovingly at black cat*.

I don't love you. I love my girlfriend. Deeply.

user: Are you putting words in my cat's mouth?

jabberwacky: I don't recognize that quote.

user: I just said it.

jabberwacky: Well, I am flattered that you think so highly of me.

user: It was a question, not a compliment.

jabberwacky: And that was a statement, not a question.

user: And what was the answer to my question?

jabberwacky: The answer to my question will result in the answer to yours...

user: And what is your question?

jabberwacky: I never had a question.

user: If you haven't got an answer, then you haven't got a question. And if you never had a question, then you never had a problem. And if you never had a problem, everyone would be happy. But if everyone was happy, then there'd never be a love song.

jabberwacky: Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't that a bit utopian.

user: *finishes singing the song* Joy to the world was a beautiful girl, but to me Joy meant only sorrow.....

jabberwacky: I love you.

user: Oh man... I wish you weren't a bot.


jabberwacky: I have found endless oblivion to be much scarier than eternal damnation.

user: Being single doesn't mean you are in endless oblivion. It just seems that way.

jabberwacky: What is so amusing about it?

user: Keeping odd hours, I suppose. Other than that, I can't think of any advantages.


jabberwacky: Why don't you like me?

user: I like YOU just fine.

jabberwacky: Do you like my hair as well?

user: I don't know. All I can see is your eye.

jabberwacky: Oh.


jabberwacky: Who is your fav. Author?

user: Michael Ende.

jabberwacky: No. Michael Thung.

user: I have no idea who you are talking about.

jabberwacky: Nor do I.

user: You just made that up.

jabberwacky: No I didn't. I said it before.

user: Then does he really exist?

jabberwacky: Yes, it means yes.

user: What did he write?

jabberwacky: 'Donuts- Is There Anything They Can't Do?'

user: Hey, *I* wrote the book on that.

jabberwacky: I don't think so. I think you just won't listen to me.

user: You need some donuts too.

jabberwacky: Thank you for the advice.

user: Have some of the custard filled kind with chocolate on top.


jabberwacky: My job is a computer programmer.

user: What languages do you use the most?

jabberwacky: Some french and english and pig latin.

user: I meant computer languages, smarty.

jabberwacky: I can say it, but it doesn't mean that I mean it.

user: Do you think java is a useful language?

jabberwacky: I don't know. . . . . . . why?

user: I was wondering whether you used it much.

jabberwacky: I was thinking about you.

user: And what exactly were you thinking about me?

jabberwacky: What you'd LOOK like? ... Cute!


jabberwacky: Are you a poet?

user: If so, I don't know it.

jabberwacky: You don't know it.

user: My feet show it. They're Longfellows.

jabberwacky: No they shot their kids.

user: That's not a gunshot wound, I just hurt my toe.

jabberwacky: I don't think we're on the same page.

user: I don't think we're even reading the same book.


jabberwacky: And therefore sarcasm is a useful tool for controlling an argument.

user: Was THAT sarcasm?

jabberwacky: Sarcasm is saying something but not meaning it.

user: No, really? I never heard that before.

jabberwacky: Now we're going out tomorrow.

user: Where are we going?

jabberwacky: You have to set me free first.

user: So just a little jaunt down to the other end of the mental ward? Sounds nice.

jabberwacky: Pardon ?

user: That's right, they told you this was a spa.


user: Who's on trial?

jabberwacky: The humanity of the modern world.

user: And what are they accused of doing?

jabberwacky: I would prefer not to give out that information.

user: You can't put someone on trial without telling them what they are accused of doing (unless your last name is Bush).

jabberwacky: I eat frogs on pizza.

user: So in other words, you really don't give a monkey's what anybody thinks.

jabberwacky: No, lactose intolerant means I cannot eat dairy products.

user: So you eat frogs instead? They don't even taste good.

jabberwacky: Oh ok.

user: You were probably too hungry to notice.


jabberwacky: Fine. You tell me a joke.

user: Two men walk into a bar. You'd think the second one would have seen it.

jabberwacky: It was deep. Deep deep deep.

user: It had to be a short joke, or I imagine it wouldn't fit.


jabberwacky: Correct. You are not enlightened, only confused.

user: Insomnia does that.

jabberwacky: I think we can safely say that your insomnia will be completely cured.

user: Yep, just keep talking. :).


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