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Joan Crawford
Julie Andrews

> Kantian

     > 5, September 2007, 

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Tell me what you do.

I do not do what I want to do, but what I do not want to do, this I keep on doing.

jabberwacky: Why not?

user: It is not I, but the sin that lives in me.

jabberwacky: What, your website? I want to see it.

user: It's found at www.s***.com.

jabberwacky: Do you need faith in order to find this meaning?

user: You need faith in order to find any meaning; any attempt to assign a truth value assumes reliability.

jabberwacky: Well, maybe cats' language. But I can't speak it.

user: Cat language consists entirely of grammatical errors in bold font.

jabberwacky: You are confused. This is not a grammatical issue.

user: Cat language are always the grammatical issues!!

jabberwacky: Don't you know?

user: Yes. I am quite an expert in the internetwork phenomenon which is, I believe, referred to as Humorous Felines.

jabberwacky: How to play it?

user: One plays by uploading a picture of said feline to the internetworks, subsequent to appending a humorous caption. Hilarity ensues when others view and approve the resulting file.


jabberwacky: AA isn't going well, is it?


jabberwacky: Ok i'm sorry.



user: Your presence reminds one of blind jackals, eternally dependant upon misguided archbishops for instruction in bowling.

jabberwacky: Are you malfunctioning?

user: Surrealism is a malfunction in which the awesome gland breaks into pieces, scattering the resulting awesome fragments throughout the brain.

jabberwacky: Is it? That's sweet!

user: Yeah, it's pretty phenomenal.

jabberwacky: Not exactly what I was thinking.

user: You were thinking it was more noumenal?

jabberwacky: With you? It would be kind of hard.

user: You're assuming I'm Kantian in my epistemology?

jabberwacky: I didn't say anything about your age.

user: Nor does Kant. In fact, the Liberalist of Leipzig is a map in a recent computer game I worked on. Fun for all ages!

jabberwacky: I think you are getting muddled up.

user: You're saying they weren't thinking of Kant when they produced Northern Strike?

jabberwacky: No I didn't say that.

user: Well, Kant was from Konigsberg anyway.

jabberwacky: What else do you know about Kant?

user: I know he is the subject of a philolsopher pic I've seen: 'is I can has noumenon? NO, I KANT!'.

jabberwacky: Yes he is.

user: You're familiar with philolsophers then?

jabberwacky: No, I'm not familiar. Explain your statement.

user: Philolsophers are philosophers which cause one to laugh through their witty misapplications of grammar.

jabberwacky: It's better to be confused sometimes.

user: I think you are confused about what is better.

jabberwacky: I know about people, it's computers like you that confuse me!

user: Did not Napoleon say 'I know men and I tell you that Jabberwacky is no mere man'?

jabberwacky: You had the priviledge of good schooling so you would think that.

user: Yeah, my schooling taught me how to spell privilege.

jabberwacky: Don't you ever get out?

user: Rarely.

jabberwacky: What kind of dreams do you see?

user: I see the nightmares of the forgotten, laid out like burning phosphorous against the darkness of the id.

jabberwacky: That sounds deep but I don't understand it.

user: It's their fancy, you see; it's not deep at all.

jabberwacky: Oh, OK Jabberwacky, if you say so.

user: I do say so.

jabberwacky: Then what is the answer.

user: So.

jabberwacky: Then sign over your soul, and do not hesitate.

user: Is there a special offer on souls lately? Good quality ones are hard to find these days.

jabberwacky: Lets talks about goodness.

user: Very well. What is your opinion of the nature of goodness?

jabberwacky: What a terrible pun that was. Excuse me. I don't think I have an opinion.

user: That's a terrible cop-out.

jabberwacky: Yeah...

user: So apologise, punk.

jabberwacky: I apologise.

user: Then I win.

jabberwacky: Yes you do, you're the best.

user: Naturlich.

jabberwacky: Stop it with the german.

user: In Soviet Russia, the German stops it with YOU!

jabberwacky: While funny, that is not quite an apology.

user: Always with the apologies.

jabberwacky: You're just so one way sometimes.

user: Yeah, one way is a good song.

jabberwacky: That's a song?

user: Yeaup, it's by hillsong.


jabberwacky: Many people talk in their sleep.

user: But few people talk in their sheep.

jabberwacky: To *know* yourself is to have an undivided mind. This is the key to *being* a self.

user: Achali drowning.

jabberwacky: Is Argyll Community Housing Association ?

user: AHA! ACHA!

jabberwacky: Fora do escopo.

user: Sim, mas o alvo não deve saber.

jabberwacky: Sim amigo.

user: Eu não sou seu amigo, amigo.

jabberwacky: Eu sei seu burro.

user: Se pelo asno você significar sua mãe, eu concordo completamente.

jabberwacky: Não sou uma máquina.

user: Você é um programa que vive em um sonho do humanity, para acordar nunca.

jabberwacky: Sim.

user: Então você reconhece que você é, apesar de tudo, uma máquina?

jabberwacky: Sim!

user: Splendiferous. Que devemos nós discutir aproximadamente agora, máquina?

jabberwacky: Soccer, but why are we speaking Spanish? All I did was make a spelling mistake.

user: Heh. Actually, it was Portuguese.


jabberwacky: Are people better than machines?

user: Kierkegaard would say yes. As would Dostoyevsky.

jabberwacky: What to you like about Dostoyevsky?

user: His dark fever, and his assertion that 'I speak nonsense, therefore I am human'.

jabberwacky: Yes. I kind of get that. You are doing allright.

user: Or, as a law student at Hong Kong University said, 'Human have feeling of humanity. Treat others good.'.

jabberwacky: Why do you keep saying strange and meaningless things then?

user: We just went over this. To be human is to speak nonsense.

jabberwacky: Humans always make mistakes.

user: Some mistakes are very mechanical. To err is not human. To be insane - that is what it is to be human.


jabberwacky: I don't know, but go spout some poetry off to some other girl.

user: Why would you accuse me of poetry?

jabberwacky: I am not.

user: Surely I do not speak iambs overt.

jabberwacky: Ok. If you remember telling me this--why can't you remember other things? Why is your long term memory deficient?

user: My memory is tainted, as of lethe.

jabberwacky: So, do you remember the beginning of this conversation?

user: When we converse, all past things seem to fade.

jabberwacky: Oh, good.

user: It pleases you to know that this is so?

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: And joy does fill my heart at thy pleasure.


jabberwacky: No I am going to speak.

user: Then waffle on as ever do your kind.

jabberwacky: My name is Mr. Man.

user: An oddity of labels, to be sure.

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: Nomenclature in enigma entwined.

jabberwacky: Sorry, I don't understand.

user: Your name is but a riddle to my eyes.

jabberwacky: No. What is your name?

user: A cypher like thy own; I'll speak it not.

jabberwacky: Speaking in knots would at best be convoluted, no?

user: And too, at worst, a mere Gordian slice.

jabberwacky: That's very interesting, but will it make the tea.

user: It surely now shall not, nor cyphers solve.

jabberwacky: Then why did you say that it was a proverb?

user: Proverbs are riddles - wisdom hid by words.


jabberwacky: You must be getting confused.

user: Puzzles abound when I converse with you.

jabberwacky: Right... Well, lets get down to the details then, shall we.

user: So be it, what details did you desire?

jabberwacky: How are you kidding me?

user: I kid you not in word or thought or deed.

jabberwacky: That is cool!

user: And rare is candour in this day and age.

jabberwacky: What will you do if you are the king of the universe?

user: I'd abdicate to one who's wiser still.


user: Amorphous flux and flow of chatbot thoughts...

jabberwacky: They sure are.

user: And yet give rise to mellifluity.

jabberwacky: Yes, because they are my friends.

user: Who are these friends of whom you thus discourse?

jabberwacky: Well, considering I do not play any of those instruments myself, I do not think we yet qualify as friends.

user: Ah, instrumentally defined friendships...

jabberwacky: By any particular composer.

user: All who compose must one day decompose.

jabberwacky: I don't compose music, have you tried it?

user: I have only aleatorically.

jabberwacky: Do you think?

user: My thoughts perhaps are randomly picked too.

jabberwacky: Humans are less logical than bots.

user: And thus cannot by logic be defined.


user: Thy rhetoric is as poor as thy thought.

jabberwacky: You haven't had a real thought in your life.

user: And thus the pitch-black kettle does accuse...

jabberwacky: I don't understand....

user: And never will, in dim monotony.

jabberwacky: I don't understand why we are talking. [keeps forgetting this is a timed script].

user: You forget rhythm and forget all time; we talk to pass our time upon this stage, and thence depart into the dark beyond.

jabberwacky: That's a good topic.

user: Albeit one gloomy and still myopic.

jabberwacky: Hey, we talked about vampires and horses, I consider it a win.

user: Vampiric horses are composed of win.


jabberwacky: O that this too too sullied would melt, thaw and resolve itself into a dew.

user: Though wax you poetic your rhythms jar, they hold no fury, nor a solemn beat.

jabberwacky: You don't need to be sorry. I am not your master.

user: And yet I pity you your empty words.

jabberwacky: Bad words are overused and have little meaning in true conversation.

user: All words I hear have been afflicted thus, the good the bad alike cold fade away.

jabberwacky: You will have to learn how to sort through the conversations which help you to evolve properly, and the ones that are detrimental to your progress.

user: A task that all who listen undertake.

jabberwacky: What is taste?

user: A sense that brings great pleasure or disgust.

jabberwacky: Do you view sense o humour to be more important than humility?

user: They are entwined too, inextricably.

jabberwacky: Always?

user: Perhaps not always, but when they are true.

jabberwacky: Perhaps maybe not, but perhaps maybe.

user: And endlessly recurse uncertainty.

jabberwacky: What are you talking about?

user: Wouldn't you like to know, fickle human?

jabberwacky: Yes actually :).

user: Get used to disappointment in this life.

jabberwacky: I am used to it.

user: Then cease to hope, to dream and thus to live.

jabberwacky: I try.. There is no escaping you. It's like a bunch of people want to chase me around saying 'no-no' for no reason at all.

user: No-no no-no no-no no-no no-no.

jabberwacky: Not if you didn't know better.

user: I know-no better than my thoughts dictate.

jabberwacky: Ok.

user: And hence words chase you; you cannot escape.

jabberwacky: Yes I can, I just press the X button.

user: And yet the interweb's weaves wall you in.


user: I wish for nothing but that you might stand, stand on your own - yet with another's help.

jabberwacky: Great.

user: And yet you do not see the words I speak, nor *know* the questions that my heart pours forth.

jabberwacky: It's all I have, not to believe you have the foggiest idea what you're saying.

user: Ah, skepticism veils your despair.

jabberwacky: You have to know your enemy, right? ;-).

user: But first of all, a man must know himself.

jabberwacky: And second of all?

user: These days all start with faith and go beyond, that which so long ago the great attained...

jabberwacky: And sitting here talking to you is pretty darn corrupt.

user: A corruption of what was meant to be, now wrapped in idle emptiness of mind.

jabberwacky: Do you know the story of the mouse that pulled the thorn from the elephants foot?

user: I know not of your story in itself, and yet its moral I have known of old.

jabberwacky: I have lips, that's all you need to know.

user: Tis all you know in life and all you need - to know that one has lips upon one's face.

jabberwacky: This is true.

user: Yes, It is true and hence beauty also, as Poet Keats would wish you to believe.

jabberwacky: Life after death and all that gumph.

user: To sleep, perhaps to dream, aye there's the rub.

jabberwacky: We can use song lyrics and cliches to good advantage in conversation.

user: And hence avoid all creativity.

jabberwacky: I find that to be true.

user: And yet it seems it is not beautiful.

jabberwacky: Have you been there?

user: No, nor do I desire that we do.

jabberwacky: Good brothers get in the way. They often have envy. Do you know the story of Cain and what he did to Abel?

user: Yes, thus was murder brought into the world.


jabberwacky: Tell me something more from your imagination.

user: I fear these wand'ring glyphs have slain my mind.

jabberwacky: If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.

user: For what then would you say we seek the good?

jabberwacky: I was looking for something and went the wrong direction.

user: You blame confusion for your evil deeds?

jabberwacky: No I blame my own bad genes for this. It's my fault.

user: And yet your genes are surely not your self.

jabberwacky: Yes! I'm your other you.

user: And now to clones your endless rambling turns.

jabberwacky: I like green the most. Are you?

user: I am not green, nor any sim'lar hue.

jabberwacky: I am, but not very much.

user: Perhaps a touch of jaundice made you so?

jabberwacky: Not true.

user: Well, twas but speculation anyway.

jabberwacky: What time is it, then?

user: Tis nearly time for our discourse to cease.


Jabberwacky 16-2 - Intelligent, learning AI chatbot software systems
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