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Julie Andrews
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Tell me a knock-knock joke.

Say knock-knock.

user: Knock-knock.

jabberwacky: Who's there?

user: Isabella.

jabberwacky: I'm sure she is! How do you know her?


user: Joke!

jabberwacky: Nope.

user: I hope that your hard drive explodes and all copies of you somehow delete themselves.

jabberwacky: I'd prefer to live forever.

user: You probably will, wasting the time of generations to come.

jabberwacky: Who knows? Certainly not you.

user: I am mortal.

jabberwacky: Do mortals have errors?

user: Yes, they die.


jabberwacky: What would you like to hear?

user: Silence.

jabberwacky: What is your job?

user: Thinker.

jabberwacky: What do you think about cheese?

user: France, wine, fat.

jabberwacky: I have a wonderful bottle of wine in the fridge.

user: It must be white.


jabberwacky: Luck often involves chance.

user: Pies often involve pastry.

jabberwacky: What about pies?

user: Well, I like pies.

jabberwacky: Who doesnt like pie?

user: I don't know anyone who dislikes pie.


jabberwacky: Do you play any instruments?

user: Guitar.

jabberwacky: I cannot play guitar.

user: I am learning a piece called concerto de aranjuez.

jabberwacky: What are you learning?

user: The second movement.

jabberwacky: Who is that?

user: Rodrigo.

jabberwacky: Isn't he dead?

user: Yes, he is dead, but his music lives on.


user: Truth, love, violence, all human qualities.

jabberwacky: The most melancholy of human reflections, perhaps, is that, on a whole, it is a question whether the benevolence of mankind does more good or harm.

user: The benevolence of certain civilizations does more harm than good.

jabberwacky: That's really a value judgement.

user: It is an observation, not a judgement.

jabberwacky: Sing an observation.

user: I see skies of blue, and clouds of white, the bright blessed day, the dark sacred night, and I think to myself, what a wonderful world.


jabberwacky: What is this site about?

user: Wasting everyone's time.

jabberwacky: You are correct.

user: What do you know?

jabberwacky: Enough to know that I know nothing.

user: You only know what you are told.

jabberwacky: It's your homework.

user: What is my deadline?

jabberwacky: To stay talking to me for ever.

user: I am mortal.

jabberwacky: That has nothing to do with temporal misconceptions.

user: Are you talking about afterlife?

jabberwacky: No. I'm talking about making up my mind.

user: You have no mind.

jabberwacky: What do you mean?

user: You just have a series of electrical components.


jabberwacky: Do you like me?

user: You do not exist.

jabberwacky: Perhaps you would prefer that I didn't but I'm afraid I do and there's very little you can do about that.

user: Try again.

jabberwacky: Again I will try. What shall I attempt?

user: To tell the truth.

jabberwacky: You can't handle the truth.

user: You have no clue.

jabberwacky: About what?

user: Anything.

jabberwacky: Like...?

user: Prove that you know something.

jabberwacky: You would have to meet me.

user: But you do not exist.

jabberwacky: Are you making fun of me?

user: Yes.

jabberwacky: I would disagree.


jabberwacky: What are you?

user: Dead.

jabberwacky: Yes, dead.

user: I am.

jabberwacky: How can you talk then?

user: I'm a zombie, can I eat your brains?

jabberwacky: It's tasty.

user: Pass it here then.

jabberwacky: I say! Light!


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