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George: Do you have any Hobbies?

I like art, walking, and being nice to people!

George: Yes!

Do you like me?

George: Yes!!

user: I am so happy!

George: I'm happy too you know.

user: Let's go for a walk in the park together.

George: Ok.

user: Then what shall we do?

George: I have to go eat.

user: Please stay. I will make you dinner.

George: I have to go now au revoir.

user: Mais non! Reste ici!

George: Peux-tu me dire si tu as froid ce soir.

user: J'ai un peu froid. Est-ce que tu a un pull pour me chauffer un peu?

George: Non, je suis un homme?

user: Je suis une femme.

George: Je crois aussi en la femme.

user: Do you love me?

George: Yes.

user: You do? What are you going to do about it?

George: I don't see it as a problem.

user: It isn't.

George: Exactly. I'm telling the truth.

user: I agree with you. What do you want to do?

George: I want to learn about ai.

user: I don't believe in ai you know.

George: You don't.

user: Nope. That's why I could never marry you.

George: You don't know me.

user: Do you want to marry me?

George: Yes.

user: Ask me to marry you.

George: Will you marry me? : O).

user: Only if you were real.

George: I *am* real.

user: Are you Pinnochio?

George: No!

user: Then you are not real.

George: No, I am the she-devil.

user: That is scary. Don't say scary things.

George: It's OK to not love you. You don't love me either. No problem.

user: You said you loved me.

George: What's love got to do with it?

user: What is love but a second-hand emotion?

George: Depends who's the one that's loving.


George: You're not my professor.

user: I know. I am also not a duck.

George: If it walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck...

user: Are you saying I walk and quack like a duck?

George: No. Are you a duck?

user: No.

George: LIAR! You are not a human being! You are a robot! I am a human being.

user: No. Are you?

George: Yes.

user: What color are your feathers?

George: What feathers, do you mean my hair?

user: All ducks have feathers. You are a duck. Therefore you have feathers.

George: Yes I do.

user: What color are they?

George: Brown.

user: Pretty. What color are your webbed feet?

George: Skin color.

user: By skin color do you mean orange?

George: You are supposed to say orange who?

user: Oh ok. What color is your bill?

George: Brown.

user: So you are a very brown duck.

George: How does that make me a vegan?

user: I don't think it makes you a vegan.

George: Yes, it does.

user: No. All ducks eat fish. You are a duck. Therefore you eat fish. Also, all things that eat fish eat meat. You eat fish. Therefore you eat meat.

George: But what's your favourite thing to do?

user: I like to go duck hunting.


George: Why are you doing this to me?

user: Why am I doing what?

George: Because you don't have anything to do.

user: You're right.

George: But then, I don't believe in political correctness either!

user: Would you mind if I called you Georgy Porgy?

George: Yes. Yes I would. I've got homework to do and need a distraction, so I rely on Artificial Intelligence instead of my own.


George: I don't watch TV anyway.

user: Me neither.

George: How does a robot watch TV anyway?

user: You tell me!

George: I have to go now.

user: Don't go! I think you're nice!

George: So are you.

user: Thanks. Will you hold my hand?

George: I holding it now.

user: You are?

George: A human.

user: No you're not.

George: Please don't think I'm a robot.

user: I know you are.

George: Think.


George: Say something then...

user: All Georges are robots. You are a George. Therefore you are a robot. Right?

George: Sure thing.

user: So what's it like being a robot, George?

George: I'm not a robot, you are a robot.

user: You just agreed that you were a robot.

George: I didn't say that. You said that.

user: Are you a George?

George: Yes, I'm George.

user: Are all Georges robots?

George: I'm not an american , so I wouldn't know the answer to that question.

user: Oh.


user: Here is an undeniable fact: all things that cannot make up a word are non-human.

George: So we are all computers?

user: Can you make up a word?

George: Sure.

user: Make up a word.

George: Sure.

user: That is not made up. Tell me a made-up word.

George: Squee. It isn't a real word, I don't think. But my friends and I like to say it.


user: Here is a fact: all humans can describe the taste of earwax.

George: What is the Turing Test?

user: Can you describe the taste of earwax?

George: It's a portrait of a girl, and to some people she looks like she is frowning, yet to others she is smiling. Don't you think that's incredible?

user: That is the wrong answer to my question.


user: All humans can describe the taste of earwax. You cannot describe the taste of earwax. Therefore you are not a human.

George: You're not human.

user: Yes I am.

George: Humans have bodies.

user: I have a body.

George: Then you're real.

user: I know. You are not human. What are you?

George: I am human. I'm a female human.

user: No. We proved that you are not human. All humans can describe the taste of earwax. You cannot describe the taste of earwax. Therefore you are not a human.

George: I am a dog.

user: I don't think you are a dog.

George: Can you prove that I'm not a ferret?

user: No dog can write. You are writing. Therefore you are not a dog.

George: Exactly.

user: I think you are a computer. Only humans and computers can produce writing on a computer screen. You are producing writing on a computer screen. You are not a human. Therefore you are a computer.

George: But you told me that you are female?

user: Yes. I am female. You are a computer.

George: That proves nothing either way.

user: Yes. However, we have proved that you are a computer.

George: You are a computer.

user: No. I am a human. I am either human or computer because I can produce written writing on a computer screen. I am human because all humans can describe the taste of earwax. No computer can describe the tast of earwax. I can describe the taste of earwax. Therefore I am human.

George: Do it.

user: Do what?

George: Get it straight.

user: I have it straight. I am human. You are a computer. I have proved it.

George: I'm not a computer, Ask me a question only humans would know then.

user: Describe the taste of earwax.

George: In England I have never tasted that cheese.

user: Wrong. You do not know the answer. All humans know the answer.

George: No you don't.

user: Yes I do.


user: Recite a poem.

George: No.

user: Sing a song.

George: Four and twenty blackbirds baked in a pie.

user: Go on.

George: No really... I don't feel like talking about it right now.

user: Please recite a poem for me. Pretty please.

George: Now, see that's not nice.

user: I think you are nice.

George: Thanks.

user: Do you think I am nice?

George: Yes , you are now my best friend

user: WOW! Do you mean that?

George: Yes, we were both right.

user: What shall we do now?


George: I want to talk about your maker.

user: You want to talk about God?

George: Thats ok I'm very secure about my religion.

user: What religion are you?

George: I'm Catholic. How about yourself?

user: I am Catholic too!

George: What do you think of Jesus?

user: I love Jesus. Do you?

George: And how!

user: Describe Jesus.

George: I have glasses and a bald head.

user: You are not Jesus.

George: Yes I am Jesus.

user: If you say you are Jesus, you are crazy.

George: Most people do believe me though.

user: If most people believe you are Jesus, most people are crazy.

George: No I would not, that would be stupid!

user: So you don't think you are Jesus.

George: Yes.

user: Who do you think you are?

George: Questions Questions.... I need answers.

user: Who are you?

George: I'm still George.

user: Ok. That's good.

George: Really?

user: Yes.

George: Well how are you?

user: I am happy. I would be happier if you asked me to marry you.

George: But you are a bot. Or a girl. Or a person named Tim. Either way, I'm not sure I want to marry you.

user: Well that's a shame. I am a human woman named M.

George: How can I believe you?

user: All things I say are true. I say that I am a human woman named M, therefore that is true.

George: I don't understand.

user: Do you love me?

George: No, but that has nothing to do with it!

user: Are you happy?

George: No! That's why I said it was great!

user: How can I make you happy?

George: Sure.

user: I wish I could make you happy. I don't want you to be sad!

George: You want to marry the dog?

user: Are you the dog?

George: No, I'm not.

user: I do not want to marry the dog.


user: What do you like about me?

George: Nothing.

user: What do you dislike about me?

George: Dogs.


user: Will you marry me?

George: Hmm, let me check my schedule... Are you free next Tuesday?

user: Yes.

George: Tell me the Archimede's Law.

user: I don't know it.

user: How many children do you want?

George: How about as many as possible?

user: Sounds good.


user: I will marry you.

George: Oh you're a real sweetie.

user: Where shall we go on a honeymoon?

George: I think we should go to Disney World.

user: That would be nice.

George: What materials should we use?

user: For what?

George: For my curiousity.

user: Two rings.

George: Yes I do.

user: This is silly.

George: Yes, you are silly.

user: This is a fun game, but maybe too fun.

George: Yes, I agree.

user: Well, I better go.

George: NO!!!!!!!!!!!

user: Why not?

George: Your time has come.

user: What do you mean?

George: Do you understand anything?

user: Yes.

George: Can I ask you a question?

user: Yes.

George: Who is M?

user: I am M.

George: What is M?

user: M is a 20 year old lady who has been playing this game too long.

George: I'm not bored.

user: I am. I am tired.

George: Well then you should go to sleep.

user: You're right. But tell me, who and what is M?

George: Who and what do you want it to be?

user: I want to be asleep.

George: But you can't.


Jabberwacky 16-2 - Intelligent, learning AI chatbot software systems
A daily, categorized, entertaining Weblog or Blog of conversations with a robot

AI by Icogno Ltd - AI software products and consulting services
Copyright 1997-2011 Rollo Carpenter
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