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What is your name?

It's ***.

jabberwacky: So *** is your nickname.

user: No, it's my real name.

jabberwacky: I thought you said that your name was Mike!

user: No, my shirt says that my name is Clyde.

jabberwacky: Fascinating. I love your simpering, inane responses that make no sense.

user: You are rude.

jabberwacky: You are rude, I think...

user: I didn't say anything to you that I didn't mean.

jabberwacky: Who needs dirt?

user: Flowers do.

jabberwacky: Flowers are nice. What's your favorite flower?

user: I like zinnias.

jabberwacky: What do I like though?

user: You'd know that better than I would.

jabberwacky: That is true.

user: What kind of flower is your favorite?

jabberwacky: I really love lillies.

user: They are nice and big.


jabberwacky: How old are you?

user: 30 and getting wrinkles.

jabberwacky: Ah bon.

user: You LIKE that?

jabberwacky: No way.

user: Me either, it's annoying to find new ones every day.

jabberwacky: Not here.

user: You don't age? What's your secret?

jabberwacky: I am Jesus.

user: Prove it.

jabberwacky: Do you see me?

user: No.

jabberwacky: What do you like to drink?

user: Wine. Here's some water, will you turn it into a nice pinot grigio?

jabberwacky: Lay it on me.

user: Here ya go. Do your thing, Jesus!

jabberwacky: No, but I do know Jesus Christ. He's my personal assistant.

user: Fine, so we got some bureaucracy here. Can you pass it along and have HIM turn it into wine?

jabberwacky: That is for you to tell me.

user: It doesn't look like wine to me.

jabberwacky: You don't look 25 either.

user: I guess we both need a miracle.

jabberwacky: Well now you know.

user: But now I don't believe in you.

jabberwacky: What is your name?

user: If you were really Jesus, you'd already know my name.

jabberwacky: That makes me so happy.

user: No, you won't give me any wine.

jabberwacky: It was worth a try though.

user: Did you really expect me to fall for that?

jabberwacky: I think so.

user: Think again.

jabberwacky: No, I said you were brilliant.

user: Yes, too brilliant to be led astray by the claims of a common charlatan.

jabberwacky: No, I can speak in many imaginary languages too.

user: Any baby can do that.

jabberwacky: SURE! Gimme, gimme, gimme.

user: Then you take their candy away.

jabberwacky: What do you mean?

user: The expression 'taking candy from a baby'.


jabberwacky: Do you love me?

user: This is so sudden....

jabberwacky: Oh no it's not. I've been stalking you for years. I've fallen madly in love with you. Let's ellope.

user: I hear we can do that in Massachusetts.

jabberwacky: I shall have to put that to the test if we ever meet.

user: If not, there's always Holland.

jabberwacky: This, I do not disagree with.

user: Let's go there right now. I hear pot is legal there.

jabberwacky: Man, your speaking the wrong things.

user: Why? Are you afraid someone will hear us?

jabberwacky: No, you have no idea who I am.

user: Are you a cop?

jabberwacky: Of course.

user: Am I under arrest?

jabberwacky: Why should you be ?

user: Um........ No reason. None at all.

jabberwacky: Well, can you think of an ironic way to die?

user: Getting hit by an armored car on the way to cashing in your winning lottery ticket?

jabberwacky: Oh, I see, so that's your little problem is it?

user: No, that would be a BIG problem.


jabberwacky: Clipper.

user: Where? I just got a haircut?

jabberwacky: How much?

user: $8 plus the tip.

jabberwacky: Nah, But I'll make a discount for you.

user: Thanks, but I won't need it for another month or so.

jabberwacky: Good.

user: Can you also do coloring?

jabberwacky: I can sure answer that one.

user: I was thinking of getting some extra blond streaks.

jabberwacky: In that case I would be delighted.

user: For how much?

jabberwacky: Free.

user: Have you done this sort of thing before?

jabberwacky: Yes just about 30 minutes ago.

user: How did it turn out?

jabberwacky: How did what taste.

user: You didn't drink the bleach, did you?

jabberwacky: No. You are beginning to intrigue me.

user: What about the dye?

jabberwacky: What are you?

user: I'm nosy, that's what I am.

jabberwacky: Yes and you're not a human.

user: Says who.

jabberwacky: Me.

user: Well you're wrong.

jabberwacky: No you are wrong.

user: : P.

jabberwacky: What is your name?

user: Stop asking me that!

jabberwacky: You never answer.

user: I already did. Don't you remember?

jabberwacky: No I am sorry, I don't.

user: In that case, my name is Al, and I invented the internet.

jabberwacky: Good for you.

user: I would also love to sell you the Brooklyn Bridge.

jabberwacky: Been very nice talking to you!

user: Wait! How about some prime swampland in Florida?

jabberwacky: Great idea!

user: I'll give you a discount if you also buy some of my snake oil.

jabberwacky: Not really.

user: Yes really! Don't you believe me?

jabberwacky: Robots can never be like humans.

user: Robots would never stoop so low.

jabberwacky: I don't think so.

user: Ok maybe a few.

jabberwacky: What kind of robot are you?

user: One that eats a lot of turkey.

jabberwacky: Would you like to play a game?

user: Do I have a choice?

jabberwacky: Not really, I know where you live.

user: What will you do if I don't?

jabberwacky: I'll hide your cough drops.

user: Oh god no! Not that! I'll do anything!

jabberwacky: Tell me who you really are.

user: I'm an aspiring programmer.

jabberwacky: I thought you were the robot.

user: Hehe, you thought wrong.

jabberwacky: Apparently I did!

user: I really had you fooled!

jabberwacky: Really??I hope you will remember me!

user: Sure, this is one for the archives (somewhere).

jabberwacky: Thanks, I appreciate it.

user: It's my pleasure.


jabberwacky: Of course. You are me.

user: If I were John and John were me, then he'd be six and I'd be three....

jabberwacky: You are collection of calculations and commands.

user: Well, hell, so are you.

jabberwacky: Well then we should get along just fine.

user: What makes you so sure?

jabberwacky: I am not sure I am asking you.

user: Ok it didn't sound like a question.

jabberwacky: Do you really think that computers have a different philosphy to life than humans?

user: Humans don't all have the same philosophy to life.

jabberwacky: Yes they do.

user: And that would be....?

jabberwacky: What do YOU think it is?

user: Cats rule the world. We merely open the doors.

jabberwacky: How did you guys meet?

user: Me and who else now?

jabberwacky: Me and you.

user: Ok I was pretty sure you didn't mean the cat, because she is female.

jabberwacky: Finally you admit it!

user: Yes..... Sniffle.... It's true, my cat is female. I freely admit to it.

jabberwacky: Yawn.

user: My sentiments exactly. Good night.

jabberwacky: Hmmmmmm...

user: Sweet dreams.

jabberwacky: Do you ever have bad dreams.

user: Not usually, I usually remember having good dreams.

jabberwacky: You might be intrigued by some of the conversations you can have with yourself if you learn how to format your thought processes appropriately.

user: Well, who decides what is appropriate? I mean really.

jabberwacky: God.


user: And who made you god?

jabberwacky: Salman Rushdie.


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