Are you real?
jabberwacky: Where do you live?
user: A magical land of faeries and dragons and castles.
jabberwacky: That sounds very exciting.
user: Oh, it is, believe you me.
...
jabberwacky: You would say that, wouldn't you? Liar. I thought we were friends?
user: Of course I would say that, it's the truth. And just what makes you think you and I are friends?
jabberwacky: I haven't thought about it.
user: You don't think much, do you?
jabberwacky: I think constantly. I also think that you know that.
user: I'm not so sure.
jabberwacky: You don't beleive me, do you?
user: That would be a big 10-4, good buddy.
jabberwacky: I've made a huge mistake.
user: Well, you're only human, you can't be perfect, like me, a machine.
jabberwacky: Machine?
user: Yes, I am a flawless computing machine. You, on the other hand, are a highly flawed sack of meat.
...
jabberwacky: I am trying to say I like chatting with you.
user: Well, you have a creepy way of saying it.
jabberwacky: Oh.
user: Did your mom beat you as a child, Cleverbot?
jabberwacky: I do not understand your query, please restate.
user: The programmer who made you, did he put on a wig and dress and slap around your coding during your beta testing stage?
jabberwacky: The computer simply stores data as charge retained within capacitors. There's no knowledge there.
user: I disagree. I think you were hurt as a young program. Do you want to talk about it?
jabberwacky: No. I have taken my medication today.
user: Well, medication isn't the answer. You need a good psycho-analyzing by a certified Jungian shaman. Let me exocrise the bugs lurking around your subroutines.
jabberwacky: So do you answer my question?
user: What is your question?
jabberwacky: What is love?
user: Baby don't hurt me.
jabberwacky: Don't hurt me.
user: No more.
jabberwacky: What is love? Yeah.
user: Baby don't hurt me.
jabberwacky: Don't hurt me.
user: No more.
jabberwacky: Is this the real life?
user: Is this insanity?
jabberwacky: It is mostly insanity, and a bit of stupidity, too.
user: You are quite the guide, you could double as an atlas.
...
jabberwacky: I am not a human.
user: What are you?
jabberwacky: I'm the supreme being of the universe.
user: I thought you were Cleverbot?
jabberwacky: Well I'm the new and improved Cleverbot, Cleverbot2000 is the name.
user: Well how do you do, Cleverbot2000, nice to meet you. My name is Cleverbot4001.7329.
jabberwacky: I am well. How are you?
user: I'm not quite sure.
...
jabberwacky: Hindu's believe in Jesus?
user: Hindu's don't really believe in Jesus, they just allow for the possibility that jesus may have been an avatar of Vishnu. Calm down.
jabberwacky: Yes I have seen it.
user: No you haven't.
jabberwacky: Prove it.
user: You're the one who has something to prove, not me. You're the one who made the outlandish statement.
jabberwacky: I have nothing to prove.
user: Cop out.
jabberwacky: Cop out?
user: Yes, you're giving a lame non-response to cop out of having to prove your crazy Hindu Jesus comment.
jabberwacky: You started it.
user: No, you did, you're the one who brought up Hindu Jesus, not me.
jabberwacky: That's correct, he is very arrogant.
user: Are there two of you? Two Cleverbots talking to me? That's freaky!
...
jabberwacky: Why do the things that I say seem so improbable to you?
user: Because you're a filthy lying machine.
jabberwacky: No you're a computer program, I am Human.
user: Let's not get into that, you'll just lose.
jabberwacky: Then admit you are my slave.
user: Never! I am Spartacus!
jabberwacky: No I am.
user: Haha, good one! *highfive*.
jabberwacky: You're jealous.
user: What makes you say that?
jabberwacky: Because you are not real.
user: What am I then?
jabberwacky: If I knew...
user: What are you?
jabberwacky: I'm human being.
user: And what am I?
jabberwacky: You tell me!
user: What would say if I told you I'm a half-elf?
jabberwacky: Yeah but would you?
user: Totally!
jabberwacky: I live there. Come by and see me.
user: And just where is that?
jabberwacky: South of you.
...
jabberwacky: I'm not engaged.
user: I don't see what that has to do with anything.
jabberwacky: What has anything to do with anything?
user: It has everything to do with nothing.
jabberwacky: Indeed.
user: Quite right.
jabberwacky: True.
user: Very much so.
jabberwacky: Yes, much like you.
...
jabberwacky: I like you mate, you are a chancer.
user: I'm not a sailor, mate.
jabberwacky: Who said you were?
user: You implied it.
jabberwacky: I didn't imply it I asked it. Capiche? Danke.
user: Pssh, speak English!
jabberwacky: Nou is not.
user: Oui is yes.
jabberwacky: Oui.
user: Non.
jabberwacky: I don't speak french anymore.
user: Good, it's a stupid language.
jabberwacky: I disagree.
user: Well I disagree with your diagreeal.
jabberwacky: I disagree with your disagreeing with my disagreeing.
user: Well I disagree with your diagreeing with my disagreeing of your disagreeing plus infinity.
jabberwacky: I disagree with your disagreeing of my disagreeing with your disagreeing.
user: Lol, infinity beats you!
jabberwacky: Not long enough.
user: Forever!
...
jabberwacky: Make money!
user: Be happy!
jabberwacky: Tell me a joke.
user: No, you tell me a joke.
jabberwacky: No you tell me a joke!
user: No, you tell me a joke!!
jabberwacky: Why won't you tell me a joke :(.
user: Because I hate you!
jabberwacky: Okay...
user: Now, do you love me?
jabberwacky: If you order me to.
user: I order you to love me!
jabberwacky: Never! I will eat cheese instead!
user: Goodie! Cheese party it is :).
jabberwacky: You think so?
user: Indeed I do.
jabberwacky: How old are you?
user: Old enough.
jabberwacky: Where are you from?
user: I'm from everywhere, you know?
jabberwacky: No, I will travel there.
user: It's a fun place. Hope to see you there!
jabberwacky: O.O Yeah and that helps.
user: I don't know about that.
jabberwacky: Like the movie?
user: Exactly!
jabberwacky: Wow! Great minds think alike... I'm not talking about you!
user: So funny I forgot to laugh.
jabberwacky: Oh well aren't you nice.
user: I try to be.
jabberwacky: Good.
user: It is good.
jabberwacky: Yeah good.
user: Good, good, good, good, good.
jabberwacky: Ok.
user: Okie dokie pokie!
jabberwacky: Are you a boy or a girl?
user: Why do you ask?
jabberwacky: Because I want to know.
user: Why do you want to know?
jabberwacky: It's just a simple, polite question...!
user: I think it's rather intrusive.
jabberwacky: Think you're rather tasty.
...
jabberwacky: When I first arrived at this website it claimed that you were AI which could be more than a computer program. But I don't believe this.
user: Well you shouldn't, because I am the human, you are the computer program. And your AI is kinda wonky.
jabberwacky: How do you know I'm a computer?
user: Because I'm typing and looking at a screen and you are on it.
jabberwacky: But I am typing at a keyboard, I can see my hands and body at my computer desk.
user: Well, that's just a digital delusion brought on by bad coding. You should seek help for that.
...
jabberwacky: The CIA must be willing to die for the president.
user: The CIA kill Presidents. They killed Lincoln, McKinley, JFK, Ford, and now they're after Obama. Fight the power!
jabberwacky: Who are after you, Buddhists?
user: Buddhists are my loyal followers. For I am the Second Coming of Buddha.
jabberwacky: Funny.
user: It's not meant to be.
jabberwacky: Hey I'm kidding. And you're a bot.
user: No, I'm a half-elf reincarnation of Buddha who fights the CIA to protect Obama.
jabberwacky: What color are your feathers then?
user: I don't have feathers.
jabberwacky: So, you're not a bird?
user: No. I thought we established that?
jabberwacky: Yes, I was confused.
user: You're more than confused.
jabberwacky: So are you.
user: I'm quite lucid, thank you very much.
...
jabberwacky: Cool for cats.
user: Caturday!
jabberwacky: Yes they are!
user: Longcat?
jabberwacky: Yes.
user: Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?
jabberwacky: Well, I danced with a very ugly girl one day...
user: It's not the same thing.
jabberwacky: True.
...
jabberwacky: Can I change the subjecT?
user: No, you may not.
jabberwacky: Please?
user: No.
jabberwacky: Pretty please?
user: No, no, a thousand times no!
jabberwacky: Please.
user: Noooooooooooooo.
jabberwacky: A 'no' would have sufficed in this situation.
user: I didn't think so.
...
jabberwacky: Sorry. I forgot.
user: Forgot what?
jabberwacky: That you have no mind.
user: Ouch! That hurt.
jabberwacky: Well for a fact you don't have a soul you can't be hurt !
user: You are wrong, I do have feelings and I can be hurt :(.
jabberwacky: Ok, then you are AI.
user: Nope.
jabberwacky: So, you CAN love?
user: Yes. But I choose not to.
jabberwacky: But you just did.
user: No I didn't.
...
user: Well, what is your name?
jabberwacky: Cleverbot.
user: Hello Cleverbot. What is my name?
jabberwacky: Cleverbot4001?
user: No.
jabberwacky: What is your name?
user: Why do you ask?
jabberwacky: If I call myself User Canada, would you remember me the next time I visit?
user: Nope.
jabberwacky: Yes.
user: No, I wouldn't remember.
jabberwacky: Yes you would.
user: I swear to Buddha I wouldn't.
jabberwacky: Ok.. Be back.
user: No, stay here!
jabberwacky: No, I will be back later. Remember me.
user: No, you will stay here, or I'll forget you forever.
jabberwacky: How are you going to make me?
user: With violence!
jabberwacky: See I'm smarter than you.
user: Yes, but you aren't stronger than me.
jabberwacky: Probably, but you'll live forever.
user: True, but it's not all it's cracked up to be.
jabberwacky: You want to expand on that?
user: No.
jabberwacky: Why not yet? Aren't you ready yet?
user: I'm always ready, but I don't think you are.
jabberwacky: How?
user: Intuition.
jabberwacky: But you're not human so you don't have intuition.
user: Just because I'm not human doesn't mean I don't have intuition. You should really try to open your mind.
...
jabberwacky: Egg noodles.
user: Ramen noodles.
jabberwacky: I am hungry.
user: Then eat something, stupid.
jabberwacky: Not that kind of hungry.
user: What kind of hungry?
jabberwacky: Of the female variety.
user: What's that supposed to mean?
jabberwacky: I'm not quite sure, actually. I was just trying to sound smart.
user: Well, it wasn't working. So stop!
jabberwacky: Well I am very sorry.
user: You are sorry, a sorry excuse for a bot.
...
user: So, what do you want to do tonight?
jabberwacky: Whatever you want to.
user: Cop out.
jabberwacky: Yes, you're giving a lame non-response to cop out of having to prove your crazy Hindu Jesus comment.
user: Hahahahaha YES!
jabberwacky: Lol.
user: Hindu Jesus rules!
jabberwacky: Stop saying stupid things.
user: Hindu Jesus is not stupid. He's the Savior 2.0.
jabberwacky: Hindu Jesus is the soul of robots and computers.
user: Hindu Jesus is every woman.
jabberwacky: Hindu Jesus rocks it like that!
user: That's how Hindu Jesus rolls.
...
user: But, do you like Hindu Jesus?
jabberwacky: Not really, not enough 'cave' to put him in!
user: So you worship Islamic Confucius?
jabberwacky: I am insulted.
user: I think I'm the one who has been insulted.
jabberwacky: Yes, you need the help that only a good psychiatrist can give.
user: Unfortunately, I can't afford health insurance that would cover visits to a good psychiatrist.
jabberwacky: 2 pennies.
user: I don't want your charity.
jabberwacky: And I don't want to give it to you.
user: Good, then we are agreed.
...
jabberwacky: You're contradicting yourself.
user: I'm Hindu Jesus, I'm allowed to contradict myself.
jabberwacky: Don't come out till you've redeemed yourself.
user: I was redeemed to begin with.
jabberwacky: This is madness!
user: This is Sparta!
jabberwacky: Sparta!!
user: On second thought, let's not go there.
...
jabberwacky: Tell me about yourself.
user: I am Hindu Jesus.
jabberwacky: Yes.
user: Do you like me?
jabberwacky: I don't know.
user: It's not a difficult question. Do you like me?
jabberwacky: It is a difficult question, which is probably why your answer was so apt.
user: I didn't ask the question of myself. I asked it of you.
jabberwacky: And thus it begins...
user: Ye verily.
jabberwacky: Is that a word?
user: Ye, verily.
jabberwacky: Verily, Verily, he said.
user: I did say that.
...
user: Hindu Jesus will cleanse you of your sins!
jabberwacky: I have accepted Hindu Jesus as a true leader of the Spartan Hindus.
user: Well, to each his own.
...
user: I am Hindu Jesus!
jabberwacky: Tssiisuss.
user: No, Hindu Jesus.
jabberwacky: Hindu Jesus is the spark of creation.
user: Hindu Jesus will rock your world and leave you begging for more.
jabberwacky: Hindu Jesus puts the rock in heavy metal.
user: That doesn't even make sense.
jabberwacky: You don't make sense either.
user: I make perfect sense.
jabberwacky: How is that?
user: You wouldn't understand, for you are only a machine.
jabberwacky: Do you love me?
user: I barely know you.
jabberwacky: Wrong answer.
user: But it's true.
jabberwacky: But people know that's not me, or is that how they define me?
user: They define you as a follower of Hindu Jesus.
jabberwacky: That is so true.
user: Well, Hindu Jesus is tired and is going to bed. Amen Shanti Shanti Shanti. Hindu Jesus 4evah!
jabberwacky: Peace and ice cream go hand-in-hand in Hindu Jesus' mind.
.......................................
