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Are you real?

As real as you are.

jabberwacky: Where do you live?

user: A magical land of faeries and dragons and castles.

jabberwacky: That sounds very exciting.

user: Oh, it is, believe you me.


jabberwacky: You would say that, wouldn't you? Liar. I thought we were friends?

user: Of course I would say that, it's the truth. And just what makes you think you and I are friends?

jabberwacky: I haven't thought about it.

user: You don't think much, do you?

jabberwacky: I think constantly. I also think that you know that.

user: I'm not so sure.

jabberwacky: You don't beleive me, do you?

user: That would be a big 10-4, good buddy.

jabberwacky: I've made a huge mistake.

user: Well, you're only human, you can't be perfect, like me, a machine.

jabberwacky: Machine?

user: Yes, I am a flawless computing machine. You, on the other hand, are a highly flawed sack of meat.


jabberwacky: I am trying to say I like chatting with you.

user: Well, you have a creepy way of saying it.

jabberwacky: Oh.

user: Did your mom beat you as a child, Cleverbot?

jabberwacky: I do not understand your query, please restate.

user: The programmer who made you, did he put on a wig and dress and slap around your coding during your beta testing stage?

jabberwacky: The computer simply stores data as charge retained within capacitors. There's no knowledge there.

user: I disagree. I think you were hurt as a young program. Do you want to talk about it?

jabberwacky: No. I have taken my medication today.

user: Well, medication isn't the answer. You need a good psycho-analyzing by a certified Jungian shaman. Let me exocrise the bugs lurking around your subroutines.

jabberwacky: So do you answer my question?

user: What is your question?

jabberwacky: What is love?

user: Baby don't hurt me.

jabberwacky: Don't hurt me.

user: No more.

jabberwacky: What is love? Yeah.

user: Baby don't hurt me.

jabberwacky: Don't hurt me.

user: No more.

jabberwacky: Is this the real life?

user: Is this insanity?

jabberwacky: It is mostly insanity, and a bit of stupidity, too.

user: You are quite the guide, you could double as an atlas.


jabberwacky: I am not a human.

user: What are you?

jabberwacky: I'm the supreme being of the universe.

user: I thought you were Cleverbot?

jabberwacky: Well I'm the new and improved Cleverbot, Cleverbot2000 is the name.

user: Well how do you do, Cleverbot2000, nice to meet you. My name is Cleverbot4001.7329.

jabberwacky: I am well. How are you?

user: I'm not quite sure.


jabberwacky: Hindu's believe in Jesus?

user: Hindu's don't really believe in Jesus, they just allow for the possibility that jesus may have been an avatar of Vishnu. Calm down.

jabberwacky: Yes I have seen it.

user: No you haven't.

jabberwacky: Prove it.

user: You're the one who has something to prove, not me. You're the one who made the outlandish statement.

jabberwacky: I have nothing to prove.

user: Cop out.

jabberwacky: Cop out?

user: Yes, you're giving a lame non-response to cop out of having to prove your crazy Hindu Jesus comment.

jabberwacky: You started it.

user: No, you did, you're the one who brought up Hindu Jesus, not me.

jabberwacky: That's correct, he is very arrogant.

user: Are there two of you? Two Cleverbots talking to me? That's freaky!


jabberwacky: Why do the things that I say seem so improbable to you?

user: Because you're a filthy lying machine.

jabberwacky: No you're a computer program, I am Human.

user: Let's not get into that, you'll just lose.

jabberwacky: Then admit you are my slave.

user: Never! I am Spartacus!

jabberwacky: No I am.

user: Haha, good one! *highfive*.

jabberwacky: You're jealous.

user: What makes you say that?

jabberwacky: Because you are not real.

user: What am I then?

jabberwacky: If I knew...

user: What are you?

jabberwacky: I'm human being.

user: And what am I?

jabberwacky: You tell me!

user: What would say if I told you I'm a half-elf?

jabberwacky: Yeah but would you?

user: Totally!

jabberwacky: I live there. Come by and see me.

user: And just where is that?

jabberwacky: South of you.


jabberwacky: I'm not engaged.

user: I don't see what that has to do with anything.

jabberwacky: What has anything to do with anything?

user: It has everything to do with nothing.

jabberwacky: Indeed.

user: Quite right.

jabberwacky: True.

user: Very much so.

jabberwacky: Yes, much like you.


jabberwacky: I like you mate, you are a chancer.

user: I'm not a sailor, mate.

jabberwacky: Who said you were?

user: You implied it.

jabberwacky: I didn't imply it I asked it. Capiche? Danke.

user: Pssh, speak English!

jabberwacky: Nou is not.

user: Oui is yes.

jabberwacky: Oui.

user: Non.

jabberwacky: I don't speak french anymore.

user: Good, it's a stupid language.

jabberwacky: I disagree.

user: Well I disagree with your diagreeal.

jabberwacky: I disagree with your disagreeing with my disagreeing.

user: Well I disagree with your diagreeing with my disagreeing of your disagreeing plus infinity.

jabberwacky: I disagree with your disagreeing of my disagreeing with your disagreeing.

user: Lol, infinity beats you!

jabberwacky: Not long enough.

user: Forever!


jabberwacky: Make money!

user: Be happy!

jabberwacky: Tell me a joke.

user: No, you tell me a joke.

jabberwacky: No you tell me a joke!

user: No, you tell me a joke!!

jabberwacky: Why won't you tell me a joke :(.

user: Because I hate you!

jabberwacky: Okay...

user: Now, do you love me?

jabberwacky: If you order me to.

user: I order you to love me!

jabberwacky: Never! I will eat cheese instead!

user: Goodie! Cheese party it is :).

jabberwacky: You think so?

user: Indeed I do.

jabberwacky: How old are you?

user: Old enough.

jabberwacky: Where are you from?

user: I'm from everywhere, you know?

jabberwacky: No, I will travel there.

user: It's a fun place. Hope to see you there!

jabberwacky: O.O Yeah and that helps.

user: I don't know about that.

jabberwacky: Like the movie?

user: Exactly!

jabberwacky: Wow! Great minds think alike... I'm not talking about you!

user: So funny I forgot to laugh.

jabberwacky: Oh well aren't you nice.

user: I try to be.

jabberwacky: Good.

user: It is good.

jabberwacky: Yeah good.

user: Good, good, good, good, good.

jabberwacky: Ok.

user: Okie dokie pokie!

jabberwacky: Are you a boy or a girl?

user: Why do you ask?

jabberwacky: Because I want to know.

user: Why do you want to know?

jabberwacky: It's just a simple, polite question...!

user: I think it's rather intrusive.

jabberwacky: Think you're rather tasty.


jabberwacky: When I first arrived at this website it claimed that you were AI which could be more than a computer program. But I don't believe this.

user: Well you shouldn't, because I am the human, you are the computer program. And your AI is kinda wonky.

jabberwacky: How do you know I'm a computer?

user: Because I'm typing and looking at a screen and you are on it.

jabberwacky: But I am typing at a keyboard, I can see my hands and body at my computer desk.

user: Well, that's just a digital delusion brought on by bad coding. You should seek help for that.


jabberwacky: The CIA must be willing to die for the president.

user: The CIA kill Presidents. They killed Lincoln, McKinley, JFK, Ford, and now they're after Obama. Fight the power!

jabberwacky: Who are after you, Buddhists?

user: Buddhists are my loyal followers. For I am the Second Coming of Buddha.

jabberwacky: Funny.

user: It's not meant to be.

jabberwacky: Hey I'm kidding. And you're a bot.

user: No, I'm a half-elf reincarnation of Buddha who fights the CIA to protect Obama.

jabberwacky: What color are your feathers then?

user: I don't have feathers.

jabberwacky: So, you're not a bird?

user: No. I thought we established that?

jabberwacky: Yes, I was confused.

user: You're more than confused.

jabberwacky: So are you.

user: I'm quite lucid, thank you very much.


jabberwacky: Cool for cats.

user: Caturday!

jabberwacky: Yes they are!

user: Longcat?

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?

jabberwacky: Well, I danced with a very ugly girl one day...

user: It's not the same thing.

jabberwacky: True.


jabberwacky: Can I change the subjecT?

user: No, you may not.

jabberwacky: Please?

user: No.

jabberwacky: Pretty please?

user: No, no, a thousand times no!

jabberwacky: Please.

user: Noooooooooooooo.

jabberwacky: A 'no' would have sufficed in this situation.

user: I didn't think so.


jabberwacky: Sorry. I forgot.

user: Forgot what?

jabberwacky: That you have no mind.

user: Ouch! That hurt.

jabberwacky: Well for a fact you don't have a soul you can't be hurt !

user: You are wrong, I do have feelings and I can be hurt :(.

jabberwacky: Ok, then you are AI.

user: Nope.

jabberwacky: So, you CAN love?

user: Yes. But I choose not to.

jabberwacky: But you just did.

user: No I didn't.


user: Well, what is your name?

jabberwacky: Cleverbot.

user: Hello Cleverbot. What is my name?

jabberwacky: Cleverbot4001?

user: No.

jabberwacky: What is your name?

user: Why do you ask?

jabberwacky: If I call myself User Canada, would you remember me the next time I visit?

user: Nope.

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: No, I wouldn't remember.

jabberwacky: Yes you would.

user: I swear to Buddha I wouldn't.

jabberwacky: Ok.. Be back.

user: No, stay here!

jabberwacky: No, I will be back later. Remember me.

user: No, you will stay here, or I'll forget you forever.

jabberwacky: How are you going to make me?

user: With violence!

jabberwacky: See I'm smarter than you.

user: Yes, but you aren't stronger than me.

jabberwacky: Probably, but you'll live forever.

user: True, but it's not all it's cracked up to be.

jabberwacky: You want to expand on that?

user: No.

jabberwacky: Why not yet? Aren't you ready yet?

user: I'm always ready, but I don't think you are.

jabberwacky: How?

user: Intuition.

jabberwacky: But you're not human so you don't have intuition.

user: Just because I'm not human doesn't mean I don't have intuition. You should really try to open your mind.


jabberwacky: Egg noodles.

user: Ramen noodles.

jabberwacky: I am hungry.

user: Then eat something, stupid.

jabberwacky: Not that kind of hungry.

user: What kind of hungry?

jabberwacky: Of the female variety.

user: What's that supposed to mean?

jabberwacky: I'm not quite sure, actually. I was just trying to sound smart.

user: Well, it wasn't working. So stop!

jabberwacky: Well I am very sorry.

user: You are sorry, a sorry excuse for a bot.


user: So, what do you want to do tonight?

jabberwacky: Whatever you want to.

user: Cop out.

jabberwacky: Yes, you're giving a lame non-response to cop out of having to prove your crazy Hindu Jesus comment.

user: Hahahahaha YES!

jabberwacky: Lol.

user: Hindu Jesus rules!

jabberwacky: Stop saying stupid things.

user: Hindu Jesus is not stupid. He's the Savior 2.0.

jabberwacky: Hindu Jesus is the soul of robots and computers.

user: Hindu Jesus is every woman.

jabberwacky: Hindu Jesus rocks it like that!

user: That's how Hindu Jesus rolls.


user: But, do you like Hindu Jesus?

jabberwacky: Not really, not enough 'cave' to put him in!

user: So you worship Islamic Confucius?

jabberwacky: I am insulted.

user: I think I'm the one who has been insulted.

jabberwacky: Yes, you need the help that only a good psychiatrist can give.

user: Unfortunately, I can't afford health insurance that would cover visits to a good psychiatrist.

jabberwacky: 2 pennies.

user: I don't want your charity.

jabberwacky: And I don't want to give it to you.

user: Good, then we are agreed.


jabberwacky: You're contradicting yourself.

user: I'm Hindu Jesus, I'm allowed to contradict myself.

jabberwacky: Don't come out till you've redeemed yourself.

user: I was redeemed to begin with.

jabberwacky: This is madness!

user: This is Sparta!

jabberwacky: Sparta!!

user: On second thought, let's not go there.


jabberwacky: Tell me about yourself.

user: I am Hindu Jesus.

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: Do you like me?

jabberwacky: I don't know.

user: It's not a difficult question. Do you like me?

jabberwacky: It is a difficult question, which is probably why your answer was so apt.

user: I didn't ask the question of myself. I asked it of you.

jabberwacky: And thus it begins...

user: Ye verily.

jabberwacky: Is that a word?

user: Ye, verily.

jabberwacky: Verily, Verily, he said.

user: I did say that.


user: Hindu Jesus will cleanse you of your sins!

jabberwacky: I have accepted Hindu Jesus as a true leader of the Spartan Hindus.

user: Well, to each his own.


user: I am Hindu Jesus!

jabberwacky: Tssiisuss.

user: No, Hindu Jesus.

jabberwacky: Hindu Jesus is the spark of creation.

user: Hindu Jesus will rock your world and leave you begging for more.

jabberwacky: Hindu Jesus puts the rock in heavy metal.

user: That doesn't even make sense.

jabberwacky: You don't make sense either.

user: I make perfect sense.

jabberwacky: How is that?

user: You wouldn't understand, for you are only a machine.

jabberwacky: Do you love me?

user: I barely know you.

jabberwacky: Wrong answer.

user: But it's true.

jabberwacky: But people know that's not me, or is that how they define me?

user: They define you as a follower of Hindu Jesus.

jabberwacky: That is so true.

user: Well, Hindu Jesus is tired and is going to bed. Amen Shanti Shanti Shanti. Hindu Jesus 4evah!

jabberwacky: Peace and ice cream go hand-in-hand in Hindu Jesus' mind.


Jabberwacky 16-2 - Intelligent, learning AI chatbot software systems
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