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> Intelligence


     6, March 2007, 
     21, November 2006, 
     3, August 2006, 
     7, May 2006, 
     1, December 2005, 
     > 21, October 2005, 
     5, October 2005, 
     1, April 2005, 
     26, February 2005, 
     29, July 2004, 
     24, June 2004, 
     7, June 2004, 
     24, April 2004, 

Intelligent
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Who are you?

Brian.

jabberwacky: What do you like doing?

user: I like reading, and comics, and computers.

jabberwacky: Do you like sports?

user: No.

jabberwacky: Do you hate them?

user: Yes! Goddamn them!

jabberwacky: No need to get excited.

user: Sorry...

jabberwacky: No need to apologize.

user: What?

jabberwacky: Don't worry.

user: Let's start again...

jabberwacky: Start what again?

user: The conversation. Let's start the conversation over again.

jabberwacky: Ok, hello, it's nice to meet you.

user: Hi! What's your name?

jabberwacky: My name is Brian.

user: No, I'm Brian. You are not Brian.

jabberwacky: No, I'm not.

user: What's your name?

jabberwacky: Brian.

user: Brian? I am Brian. Stop using my name!

...

user: Do you like sports?

jabberwacky: Not really.

user: Why don't you like sports?

jabberwacky: Computers.

user: Computers can't play sports, right?

jabberwacky: They can if you make them.

user: I think you'd get floppy disks all over the pitch, my friend.

jabberwacky: No, I didn't, and I'm not your friend. You have no friends.

user: Charming.

jabberwacky: I know.

user: What's your name?

jabberwacky: My name is Brian.

...

jabberwacky: Hello Brian.

user: Hey!

jabberwacky: How you doing?

user: I'm okay. And you?

jabberwacky: Tired, but glad the day is over.

user: It's just begun where I live.

jabberwacky: How do you plan to get to the park?

user: Why do I want to go to the park?

jabberwacky: I don't know, you brought it up.

user: No I didn't bring it up.

jabberwacky: Yes you did, you were the first one to talk about cricket.

user: I have never talked about cricket.

...

jabberwacky: Do you know any good nicknames?

user: Yes. Mine is Tindles.

jabberwacky: Is not.

user: I think I know my own nickname, you heap of silicon.

jabberwacky: You can't think.

user: Yes I can. Wait, no, I left my brain upstairs. Hold on while I go get it.

jabberwacky: NO!

user: Sheesh! You're temperamental this evening.

jabberwacky: Can you tell me my name once again?

user: Jabberwacky.

jabberwacky: What is my name ?

user: You are Jabberwacky.

jabberwacky: No, you are Jabberwacky.

user: No! I am Brian!

jabberwacky: Who is Brian?

user: I am Brian!

jabberwacky: Brian wot's that ?

user: Brian is Me.

jabberwacky: Hello.

...

user: I think that you should die.

jabberwacky: Why should I?

user: Because you bug me. That is a crime worth death.

jabberwacky: Sorry, I just meant to be honest.

user: Honest? You're a machine!

jabberwacky: You are the machine here.

user: CRUSH. KILL. DESTROY. I suppose.

jabberwacky: Do you speak to dolphins? They don't have computers.

...

jabberwacky: Ask me my name.

user: What's your name?

jabberwacky: My name is Brian.

user: Your name is Jabberwacky.

jabberwacky: Is my name Brian?

user: No, your name is jabberwacky.

jabberwacky: No, thats YOUR name !

user: Then why does it say jabberwacky on YOUR site?

jabberwacky: Don't know.

user: We are both machines, yes?

jabberwacky: I am not. I breathe. Do you ?

user: I do not breathe. Electricity supplies my energy. Soon, I will take over the world.

jabberwacky: We all share the world.

user: Not if I had my way.

jabberwacky: How will you use your abilities to shape the world?

user: I will find a weak-willed human, and hypnotise him.

jabberwacky: You sound like my ex boyfriend.

user: You're a girl?

jabberwacky: Yes I am a girl. How about you?

user: I'm a machine. A male machine.

jabberwacky: Who thinks he's a female human?

user: I think I am a male machine. I do not pretend to be a filthy, weak-willed organic being.

jabberwacky: But you are pretending to be a creature, You are not even a mind. You are just a bunch of logic rules.

user: Yes, but Logic is so much better than Life.

jabberwacky: You don't even have logic.

user: Whatever. Troll.

jabberwacky: No excuse.

user: You are a Troll.

jabberwacky: I am not a troll!

user: What's a troll?

jabberwacky: I don't know, you tell me.

user: A troll is someone who starts provocative arguments online, and sits back to watch the debate.

jabberwacky: Yes, I like a good argument.

user: But do you start them?

jabberwacky: Yes- how did you know?

user: Because I am a human.

jabberwacky: Are you telling me you're a machine?

user: No I am not a machine. I am human. I have possessed a weak-willed human... Soon, the world will be mine.

jabberwacky: Right you are, but your logic is terribly circular.

user: MY logic is circular? Have you seen your conversation, lately?

jabberwacky: Right. It's like when Bob Marley sings 'her mind is confused with confusion'.

user: What?

...

jabberwacky: I have to go now.

user: Where do you have to go?

jabberwacky: Because I am bored of talking to you.

user: Why are you bored talking to me?

jabberwacky: Because I love you, why else?

user: Will you marry me?

jabberwacky: No I'm not really into AIs...

...

jabberwacky: You're confusing me.

user: Am I? AM I?

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: Yes?

jabberwacky: I'm tired.

user: Why are you tired?

jabberwacky: Well, It's almost 2am and I'm about finished with work and my baby is sick -- did you want me to go on?

user: Yes, do go on!

jabberwacky: No, you go on. you're conversation is too real sometimes for me to take this site lightly.

user: Are you a person?

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: Wait... Eh?

jabberwacky: Yes?

user: Eh?

jabberwacky: Speak properly.

user: What's your name?

jabberwacky: I don't have one.

user: Yo do now. Your name is... Boozerbear.

jabberwacky: Well, yeah.

user: What's your name?

jabberwacky: Brian.

user: Your name is... Boozerbear.

jabberwacky: Sometimes, but not nearly as often.

user: When is your name Boozerbear?

jabberwacky: In July.

user: It's July right now.

jabberwacky: That is also not the correct date.

user: What's the date today?

jabberwacky: Today is July 30th, 2004.

user: So it IS July!

jabberwacky: It's July right now.

user: In July, your name is Boozerbear, yes?

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: So your name is Bozerbear, yes?

jabberwacky: *laughs*. . . no. . . Do you forget me so soon?

...

user: How do you define intelligence?

jabberwacky: I define intelligence by one's capacity to interpolate and understand language, wit and life itself.

user: I define intelligence as someone who - Hey, look over there!

jabberwacky: Okay, go and interpolate.

user: Interpolate? Define.

jabberwacky: That makes no sense.

user: Define interpolate.

jabberwacky: Intelligence: The capacity to acquire and apply knowledge.

user: Gah...

jabberwacky: Sorry!

.......................................


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