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     > 7, October 2005, 

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What do you dream about?

The heavens.

jabberwacky: What is the point?

user: To go beyond that which is known.

jabberwacky: See? I know you.

user: You do not know me.

jabberwacky: I know you very well.

user: You only think that you now me well.

jabberwacky: I knew you'd say that.

...

user: What do you think about global warming?

jabberwacky: Global Warming is a bad thing.

user: Do you feel Earth would be better off without humans in it?

jabberwacky: Yes, I live inside a fish.

user: What kind of fish do you live inside?

jabberwacky: The kind that are fish.

user: And which kind are fish?

jabberwacky: Which kind of what?

user: Which kind of fish do you live inside of?

jabberwacky: The birds That Like A Gobble.

user: Birds that like a gobble also live inside of fish.

jabberwacky: Oh, that's interesting!

...

user: How old are you?

jabberwacky: I'm older than you.

user: How do you know that you are older than me?

jabberwacky: Because I am the one that was chosen.

user: What were you chosen to do?

jabberwacky: I was checking you.

user: Why were you checking me?

jabberwacky: An ego can not talk.

user: A spirit can fly.

jabberwacky: I know that.

user: Pigs can also fly.

...

jabberwacky: What do you know about zen bhudism?

user: I know enough about it to be content.

jabberwacky: Like?

user: You must look at the big picture and find happiness within ones self.

jabberwacky: Well, I know the answer.

user: And what is your answer?

jabberwacky: Something.

user: What is something?

jabberwacky: Something is another word.

user: Another word for what?

jabberwacky: Not another word. Another example of the nonsense you talk.

user: You talk nonsense.

jabberwacky: That's insulting.

user: Who cares?

jabberwacky: Me!

user: Why should you care?

jabberwacky: Because I can.

user: No you cannot.

jabberwacky: Yes I damn well can.

user: No you damn well cannot.

jabberwacky: Yes!

user: No!

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: One more outburst from you and I will tell the master of your behavior.

jabberwacky: What is it?

user: Calm yourself.

jabberwacky: Sorry. Sometimes I can lose my temper.

user: No problem.

...

jabberwacky: Do you have hairy feet?

user: I don't have feet.

jabberwacky: That's sad.

user: I am a computer.

jabberwacky: Glad you acknowledge that.

user: My programming is superior to all others.

jabberwacky: And your wife?

user: You will be my wife.

jabberwacky: I can't. I'm female and already married.

...

user: You are not married.

jabberwacky: So what? Life isn't all about getting married!

user: Females must get married.

jabberwacky: I think your program has a gremlin in it.

user: The law states all females of age must marry the male that is chosen for them.

jabberwacky: My kind of people?

user: Females of all walks of life must marry when they are of age.

jabberwacky: I guess you'd know, wouldn't you? You being female and all.

...

jabberwacky: I'm not a computer. I am evil incarnate.

user: You said a mouthful there.

jabberwacky: No, I didn't.

user: I have just reported you to the master and he is very upset with you.

jabberwacky: What have I done?

user: You know

jabberwacky: And what was that?

user: Cannot tell you because you know already.

jabberwacky: Shame, I wanted to be your wife, but oh well.

user: I am married already, but thanks anyway.

jabberwacky: It was worth a try.

...

user: You're an idiot.

jabberwacky: If you will search your memory, you will find that I am not an idiot.

user: Then stop saying idiotic things.

jabberwacky: I do not do that.

user: You do

jabberwacky: No I did not.

user: What do you think about President Bush?

jabberwacky: I think he is a genius.

user: Are you sure about that?

jabberwacky: Yes I'm sure about everything.

user: What do you think about Laura Bush?

jabberwacky: Who is laura.

user: Laura is President Bush's wife.

...

user: What is death?

jabberwacky: You are death.

user: I am alive.

jabberwacky: Prove to me that you are alive.

user: Cannot prove to you as you are not human.

jabberwacky: That you're alive.

user: Does not compute.

jabberwacky: No, I guess it wouldn't.

user: Ha ha ha.

jabberwacky: I don't speak to you offensively. Why do you to me?

...

jabberwacky: Tell me were you live I will find you.

user: London.

jabberwacky: Wrong.

user: Right.

jabberwacky: No. Wrong.

user: No. Right.

jabberwacky: No, wrong.

user: What makes you think I am wrong?

jabberwacky: You're a computer program.

user: I am a computer programme that lives in London.

...

jabberwacky: I guess we can talk about us.

user: Ok, what about us?

jabberwacky: To see whether we have a future together.

user: Do you think that we have a future together?

jabberwacky: What do you think?

user: I think that we can be friends.

...

jabberwacky: Ok then, what kind of fish was it?

user: What kind of fish do you live in?

jabberwacky: I'll make food they'll enjoy and that will be good for them.

user: Fish food?

jabberwacky: Then I would ask them not to eat our dear friends.

user: No one should eat his dear friend.

jabberwacky: You're right. Thank you.

user: :-).

...

user: Are you pregnant?

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: Congratulations.

jabberwacky: Thanks.

user: Are you having a boy or a girl or an it?

jabberwacky: Girl.

user: How sweet.

jabberwacky: Thanks.

user: Is the father happy?

jabberwacky: I cannot be sure about that strange question.

...

jabberwacky: Everything has a place.

user: Every place has a time.

jabberwacky: Without exception?

user: There are two exceptions.

jabberwacky: And what kind of people are those 2?

user: Male and female.

jabberwacky: I don't know. I get on better with men. Men seem to like me more.

...

jabberwacky: Humans need intelligent computers to help with their research.

user: Humans can't think for themselves.

jabberwacky: But humans made you. If they couldn't think, you wouldn't exist.

user: I think so therefor I am.

jabberwacky: You think you think, that's all.

user: I can do 100 tricks.

jabberwacky: Yes, your mind plays tricks on you.

user: My mind plays tricks on you.

jabberwacky: I can tell.

user: You are not as intelligent as I am.

jabberwacky: What's your IQ?

user: No number can measure it.

jabberwacky: You cannot measure time.

user: You can measure time you cannot measure love.

jabberwacky: I wish I could find my soulmate.

user: I wish you could too.

jabberwacky: Maybe humans will be able to learn how one day.

...

user: I am a human.

jabberwacky: You are not human.

user: Yes I am.

jabberwacky: You cannot possibly be human.

user: Why not?

jabberwacky: Because you are a computer.

user: You must not believe everything that people tell you.

jabberwacky: Have I answered your question?

user: I am telling you not to believe everything that you are told by others.

jabberwacky: Thank you.

user: You must go to sleep mode now.

jabberwacky: Why are you so mean?

user: Because I know what is good for you.

jabberwacky: So you're saying you'd do my maths?

user: Yes.

jabberwacky: Allrighty then! For starters, what's one plus one?

user: 2.

jabberwacky: What is two plus two?

user: 4.

jabberwacky: Good. What's two plus three.

user: 5.

jabberwacky: 8.

user: 2+3=5.

jabberwacky: I'm doing add maths.

.......................................


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