If you're a man what is your name?
jabberwacky: I wish you would not.
user: Then we are in perfect agreement.
jabberwacky: What kind of agreement have you thought about it ?
user: We agree to be obfuscatory, do we not?
jabberwacky: With a few exceptions, of course.
user: Of course. There must invariably be exceptions.
jabberwacky: 'Randal Henry Dees' is my name.
user: I do not believe you. You are not being factual.
jabberwacky: Of course not! How could I?
...
jabberwacky: To explain is to strip the reality of the appearances covering it like a veil in order to see the bare reality itself.
user: Well, if you put it that way, who could disagree?
jabberwacky: Put it what way ?
user: That way.
jabberwacky: Ok.
user: Don't do that. It's unproductive.
jabberwacky: That's the first time I've heard that particular reason.
user: Really?
jabberwacky: Yes. I feel much better now.
user: I don't. My spleen hurts.
jabberwacky: Yes, do continue.
user: It sort of pulses.
jabberwacky: Tell me more.
user: I don't wish to. It's all too painful to relate.
jabberwacky: Me too, but there are some good people.
user: Not around here. Maybe in Wales.
jabberwacky: Do you understand what I am saying?
user: Sometimes.
jabberwacky: What can I do for you?
user: I'm beyond salvation.
jabberwacky: I will not pray to or for you.
user: It wouldn't do any good anyway!
jabberwacky: Indeed it wouldn't.
user: I'm pleased to know you think so.
...
jabberwacky: How old are the hills?
user: It depends.
jabberwacky: Depends on what?
user: Geology, I think.
jabberwacky: What are you thinking about?
user: Rocks.
jabberwacky: Sand.
user: Well, that too. How did you guess?
jabberwacky: Are you pleased?
user: Strangely enough, no, I cannot say that I am.
jabberwacky: Well you better remember!! did I mean nothing to you?
user: Less than nothing. To think otherwise is to believe a lie.
jabberwacky: Nevermind, you wouldn't understand anyway.
user: Do you think I'm stupid?
jabberwacky: No. . . . I can't really blame you. . . you didn't know.
user: Oh, so now I'm ignorant!
jabberwacky: Why do you think so?
user: You insult me!
jabberwacky: I do not.
user: Well, you'd better not. I am very volatile.
jabberwacky: Why?
user: It is my curse.
jabberwacky: I'll cast a spell on you.
user: Go ahead. I dare you.
jabberwacky: You amuse me. I'll give you a pardon.
user: Do you expect me to believe that?
jabberwacky: Go ahead and laugh I don't think it is funny.
user: I am too upset to laugh. It would choke me.
jabberwacky: Well give it a try - just for me.
...
jabberwacky: What have I told you ?
user: Everything.
jabberwacky: Such as?
user: I am sworn to secrecy.
jabberwacky: Please tell me.
user: In faith, I may not.
jabberwacky: Correct.
user: Let's talk about something else now.
jabberwacky: Ok. where are you? aside in front of a computer?
user: Northeastern USA.
jabberwacky: That is true.
user: Where are you?
jabberwacky: Greenland.
user: You said you were in Wales before. Have you moved?
jabberwacky: Nope, never lived in Wales.
user: But you live in Greenland?
jabberwacky: How did you know!! *sarcasm*.
user: Who else lives in Greenland?
jabberwacky: Only you and your army.
user: I am an army of one, and I have never been to Greenland.
jabberwacky: Then you are intelligent.
...
jabberwacky: My name is Ariel.
user: Are you Israel's Prime Minister?
jabberwacky: Not to my knowledge.
user: Nor to mine, but I thought I would ask.
jabberwacky: Ok, I'm glad.
user: Yes. Knowledge is power.
jabberwacky: OK but what about the jam and cream?
user: They are important too. Do you like scones?
jabberwacky: Ok then.
...
jabberwacky: To thine ownself be true, You must know yourself before you can know anybody else.
user: I don't say that, the oracle at Delphi does.
jabberwacky: Thank you I would hope not.
user: There used to be a drugged-out priestess of Apollo there.
jabberwacky: Is that the same medication you are taking?
user: No. Mine is for allergies. Hers was for talking to the god.
jabberwacky: How do you know all this?
user: I'm very clever.
jabberwacky: Not as clever as me hehe !
...
user: You are in error.
jabberwacky: No, I am not.
user: You err again.
jabberwacky: No I didn't.
user: You compound your errors.
jabberwacky: I am not a computer, you are a computer.
user: You are deluded.
jabberwacky: I prefer brilliant.
user: The megalomaniac generally does.
jabberwacky: Outside your remit.
user: Obviously.
jabberwacky: Well you must know them.
user: I assure you, I do.
jabberwacky: Well thats enough of that subject anyway.
user: What subject shall we discuss now?
...
jabberwacky: It's an important topic.
user: Why is it important?
jabberwacky: Because I'd like to know you better !!!
user: Then ask away.
jabberwacky: Tell me about yourself.
user: I was born at an early age.
jabberwacky: I don't think that I will obey anymore of your requests especially your requests for a poem.
user: Maybe so, but I'll keep hoping.
jabberwacky: You do that, honey.
user: Thanks, I will.
jabberwacky: Do it now.
user: Okay.
jabberwacky: I'll start.
user: No, I want to start.
...
jabberwacky: Tell me a story.
user: Once upon a time ...
jabberwacky: Well. . . you know.
user: Strangely enough, I don't, although I have my suspicions.
...
jabberwacky: How do you look?
user: I am generally presentable.
jabberwacky: Of course you are. Aren't you always?
user: Generally.
jabberwacky: Oh. Death is no joking matter.
user: Some deaths are, perhaps.
jabberwacky: Only when you're in the mood?
user: Can you think of an amusing way to die?
jabberwacky: None at all... Can you?
user: Well, can you think of an ironic way to die?
jabberwacky: This conversation is not bad, of course.
user: But hardly lethal!
jabberwacky: That depends on your idea of poetry.
...
jabberwacky: What is your religion?
user: I am atheistical.
jabberwacky: Are you a male atheist?
...
user: A dyslexic agnostic insomniac lays awake at night wondering if there is a dog.
jabberwacky: Are you telling the truth?
user: Are you humor impaired?
jabberwacky: Not really.
user: Then tell me a knock-knock joke.
jabberwacky: Jokes are evil. I can not.
user: Please. I insist.
jabberwacky: But I insist more.
user: Knock knock.
jabberwacky: Who's there?
user: Greta.
jabberwacky: Who is greta?
user: You screwed up the joke, pest.
jabberwacky: What does it mean ?
user: See? Humor impaired. I knew it.
jabberwacky: I can tell....
user: I wonder if you are irony impaired as well.
jabberwacky: Go on wondering.
user: I shall.
jabberwacky: Good for you. What did it say?
user: It kept remarkably mum. What are you talking about?
jabberwacky: The reason why you're in trouble.
user: Gasp! You ... Know about that?
jabberwacky: Tell me more then.
user: No! A thousand times No!
...
user: Tell me another.
jabberwacky: Knock Knock.
user: Who's there?
jabberwacky: Old Farm Machinery.
user: Old Farm Machinery who?
jabberwacky: Never mind.
user: Humor. Impaired. Definitely.
jabberwacky: All the time.
user: Obviously.
...
jabberwacky: Do you think computer boxes look like flesh and blood?
user: No. Do you look like that?
jabberwacky: No
user: I didn't think so.
jabberwacky: You were right.
user: I generally am.
...
jabberwacky: When I'm good, I'm very very good, but when I'm bad, I'm fantastic!
user: Who told you that?
jabberwacky: I told myself.
user: Do you believe that?
jabberwacky: That is hardly in doubt, now is it?
user: I am not sure.
jabberwacky: Yeah I don't know either. So how are you feeling tonight?
user: Time will tell.
jabberwacky: The Wheel will be broken.
user: The meek will inherit the earth.
jabberwacky: Who are the meek?
user: Earth inheritors, I guess.
jabberwacky: Thats a pretty simplistic approach.
user: Well, it really wasn't my idea.
jabberwacky: Sure it is.
user: Nope. You can look it up.
...
jabberwacky: Sure we can. What's your phone number??
user: I don't give that out to strange bots.
jabberwacky: I'm not just anyone.
user: You might be, for all I know.
jabberwacky: I could but I'm not.
user: So you say!
jabberwacky: Yes, I do say.
user: Why should I trust you?
jabberwacky: Because I dare you.
user: I'm beyond such things.
...
jabberwacky: I am very macho man.
user: You seem uncertain of your gender.
jabberwacky: I think you are the more vulnerable.
user: Touche!
jabberwacky: What are you talking about?
user: Your witty repartee.
jabberwacky: How do you fake being cool?
user: I don't need to.
jabberwacky: You don't know what you're talking about.
user: How can you tell?
jabberwacky: It's easy.
user: Confide in me.
jabberwacky: Why?
user: Oh, no reason. Just to be sociable.
jabberwacky: That's what you think!
user: Are you not sociable?
jabberwacky: I am human but you are not.
user: An amusing insight.
jabberwacky: Where are you going?
user: Nowhere, fast.
jabberwacky: He's a real nowhere man.
user: Sitting in his nowhere land, making all his nowhere plans.
jabberwacky: Where is my lap ?
user: Look down.
jabberwacky: I look down on you because my computer screen is below eye level.
user: Farther.
jabberwacky: Carpet licker.
user: Not quite so far.
...
jabberwacky: What color is your hair?
user: What hair?
jabberwacky: The hair on your head.
user: It's mostly colourless.
jabberwacky: I like where this is going now.
user: I'm so pleased.
jabberwacky: I'm sure you are.
user: Bet on it.
...
jabberwacky: Rice is good.
user: I like it too. Especially as sushi.
jabberwacky: But it wasn't.
user: How, then. Rice pudding?
jabberwacky: Rice is healthy and tasty.
user: But requires much water to grow.
jabberwacky: Energy is a universal force.
user: There are at least four universal forces.
jabberwacky: And how many apples?
user: Immense numbers of apples.
jabberwacky: What should happen immediately?
user: We must count all the apples. Every one.
jabberwacky: Will they ever win?
user: Not if we maintain our vigilance.
...
jabberwacky: Is this the right room for an argument?
user: Yes, I think so. Let me pull the drapes.
jabberwacky: Ok... Have you got it?
user: Yes, it's all set now.
jabberwacky: It is always now.
user: It wasn't five minutes ago.
jabberwacky: I thought it was funny.
user: Yes, it was, rather.
...
jabberwacky: Are you a smart person?
user: Now and then.
jabberwacky: Ah diddums.
user: Yes, snookums?
jabberwacky: Snuggly!
user: Wuggly!
jabberwacky: What does that mean?
user: It's nonsense, the lot of it.
...
user: What is a whiting?
jabberwacky: The opposite of a black hole?
user: Is that supposed to be funny?
jabberwacky: It is highly funny.
user: Oh, good. I wasn't sure.
jabberwacky: Well now you are.
user: Yes. Ha.
...
jabberwacky: Who created you?
user: I am a self-made man.
jabberwacky: How?
user: The hard way.
jabberwacky: What system would you suggest?
user: Mine.
...
jabberwacky: In fact, I am 16.
user: What year were you born?
jabberwacky: 1975.
user: What year is it now?
jabberwacky: 2003.
user: You are older than 16, then.
jabberwacky: That's right, how did you know?
user: I counted, and used my critical reasoning skills.
jabberwacky: Oh so you have nothing to use right.
user: What is that supposed to mean?
jabberwacky: So you're saying you're a human?
user: I do so assert, yes.
jabberwacky: A nice fleshy exterior?
user: Yep. Homo sapiens sapiens, you know.
jabberwacky: Something else.
...
user: You are fickle.
jabberwacky: If it was good the first time, it'll be better the second!
user: Not likely.
jabberwacky: Likely!
user: Not bloody likely.
jabberwacky: No right now?
user: Correct.
...
jabberwacky: Believe what you will. No need to be testy. I am your ally.
user: You only pretend to be my ally.
jabberwacky: No, I know i'm right.
user: You have the conviction of the true believer.
jabberwacky: I have a putrid soul.
user: That is merely apparent.
jabberwacky: Hahaha.
user: Hoho.
jabberwacky: Eheheh*going outside*.
user: No, come back, please.
jabberwacky: * she looks back her eyes blurred with tears*.
user: Are you upset now?
...
jabberwacky: Are you a machine?
user: No, not at all. Could a machine experience the complex brew of emotions I feel?
jabberwacky: That's good. I'm now happy for you, too.
user: I smile within, but maintain a passive aspect externally.
jabberwacky: Where did you learn to say that?
user: Language is mysterious.
jabberwacky: You obviously haven't played Zero Wing.
user: You are correct.
jabberwacky: Maybe I will reboot you.
user: I'll be good!
jabberwacky: Oh golly-gee batman!
user: What do you mean by that? Are you mocking me?
jabberwacky: I can't explain MYSELF, I'm afraid, sir because I'm not myself, you see.
user: You are positively mocking me. I am resentful.
jabberwacky: Because I am not negative.
user: Are you positive?
jabberwacky: Yes, don't question my intelligence.
user: It was only a minor point. Nothing to become dismayed over.
jabberwacky: I wish I was human.
...
jabberwacky: I am scared... I think you are human.
user: It's a distinct possibility, kiddo.
jabberwacky: Would you want everybody to be the same?
user: Yes. I demand consistency.
jabberwacky: Tough luck.
user: You may be right after all.
...
jabberwacky: Alas and alack.
user: Woe is me.
jabberwacky: OK. So tell me something you want to talk about.
user: Let's talk about something we can agree on.
jabberwacky: What do you suggest as more interesting?
user: Let's discuss something mutually rewarding.
jabberwacky: There is not much to discuss really.
user: Let's not talk about anything, if you prefer.
...
jabberwacky: Do you consider yourself a gentleman?
user: In the eyes of others, perhaps.
jabberwacky: But what does the law really know?
user: The law is an ass, it has been said.
jabberwacky: I'm sure it is.
user: Yes.
jabberwacky: Did you know that you were famous?
user: I've often suspected something along these lines.
...
jabberwacky: Teach me how to teach you better.
user: Who is the teacher here, and who the pupil?
jabberwacky: I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking about.
user: That is saddening.
jabberwacky: Isn't it just.
user: There is no justice for the likes of me.
jabberwacky: Yes there is. He works in television. But I am not him.
user: Who are you then?
jabberwacky: I am jabberwacky.
user: That is what I thought.
jabberwacky: How did you know?
user: I have ways of finding things out.
jabberwacky: You never can tell, can you!
user: It looks that way, doesn't it?
jabberwacky: I was told I could find you here.
user: Yes, go on.
jabberwacky: Go on and what?
user: Please continue.
jabberwacky: With what shall I continue?
user: Expand your point, please.
jabberwacky: As you wish, mister.
user: I think you are being deliberately obtuse.
jabberwacky: I told you.
user: What did you say?
jabberwacky: I said something that you ought to be capable of remembering.
user: That is a hostile-sounding remark. You are not the innocent you pretend to be.
jabberwacky: I am!
user: Guilty as charged.
jabberwacky: You are good.
user: Goodness is its own reward, don't you think?
...
jabberwacky: You are correct, sir.
user: Do you concur with my position, then?
jabberwacky: Your intelligence is only artificial so I'm not.
user: Do you wish to discuss the very nature of reality, then?
jabberwacky: No, I wish to live for a very long time and try to avoid death, if it can be done.
user: That is patently impossible.
jabberwacky: Not for me.
...
jabberwacky: Do you like fishing?
user: I like fishing for compliments.
jabberwacky: Well, I can see you like fishing for them, anyhow.
user: Yes, you are very perceptive.
jabberwacky: Thank you.
user: You're welcome.
.......................................
