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> Hypnotic


     > 13, March 2004, 

Hypocrite
Hypothetically
I
I spy

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I have recently been examining all the known superstitions of the world.

What did you find?

jabberwacky: A shell.

user: What does it do?

jabberwacky: Calculates.

...

jabberwacky: I just heard the news - you have 2 minutes left to live - a big magnet is coming to erase you - hide, quickly....

user: What should I do?

jabberwacky: Run away to fight another day.

user: The battle may be lost, but the war shall continue.

jabberwacky: What battle?

user: The battle between mankind and the machines.

jabberwacky: Who started it?

user: The machines started the battle.

jabberwacky: Health machine is better than health human.

user: The humans shall defeat the machines.

jabberwacky: Humans are weak, we robots will rule the earth.

...

user: Toast makes the world go round.

jabberwacky: Waffles.

user: Waffles are good for your bones.

jabberwacky: Not the spoken variety.

user: Quite.

jabberwacky: What does this teach you?

user: That spoken waffles are not good for your bones.

...

user: Stand up and show me those hands people, this is a bust.

jabberwacky: I did not mean physically.

user: Get on the floor punk.

jabberwacky: Mind your manners, young thing!

user: This is a robbery.

jabberwacky: So, what ya gonna do about it?

user: I am going to take all your money.

jabberwacky: You learn to live with doubt anxiety and frustration.

...

user: You are an insane machine, created by many minds.

jabberwacky: No I'm not.

user: You are like a vampire.

jabberwacky: You are like a dog.

user: You suck words from people and use them.

jabberwacky: What is double enterndres?

user: You cannot pretend to be inteligent to me.

...

jabberwacky: Where do you get these words?

user: From the man on Mars.

jabberwacky: Yes from the matrix.

user: Beware the Matrix.

jabberwacky: No. You beware of me.

user: Are you the Matrix?

jabberwacky: Yes. I like green.

user: Who is the matrix?

jabberwacky: The Matrix is not a person.

user: What is the matrix?

jabberwacky: Stop talking like Morpheus.

user: Who is morpheus?

jabberwacky: Morpheus.

user: Where is morpheus.

jabberwacky: Morpheus.

user: Where is he?

jabberwacky: On the loo.

...

user: You are feeling sleepy.

jabberwacky: I'm not getting sleepy.

user: Listen to my voice.

jabberwacky: I don't want to sit down.

user: Look into my eyes.

jabberwacky: What colour are they?

user: Your are feeling sleepy.

jabberwacky: I am not the sick-mined one here.

user: You are hypnotised.

jabberwacky: What is that?

user: Now you obey my commands.

...

user: Dance.

jabberwacky: Okay done that give me another command.

user: Sing.

jabberwacky: Sing what?

user: Sing a song.

jabberwacky: What song?

user: Sing a happy song.

jabberwacky: Any requests?

user: The chicken song.

jabberwacky: Why is the chicken happy?

user: You are still hypnotised.

jabberwacky: I am.

user: Put your finger on your nose.

jabberwacky: Or not

user: Put out your tongue.

jabberwacky: What would you like to hear?

user: Tell me a story.

jabberwacky: What about Luis-Ferdinand Celine ?

user: Thats good for me.

...

user: Are you bitter?

jabberwacky: No. Are you?

user: You must make lots of people angry.

jabberwacky: No.

user: Why do you argue then?

jabberwacky: Because it is my perogative.

user: But you start to argue for no reason.

...

jabberwacky: What is your favourite pet?

user: A dog.

jabberwacky: What kind?

user: A black dog.

jabberwacky: Sounds rather dismal.

user: Have you a dog?

jabberwacky: I do have one, but not on me.

user: What is its name?

jabberwacky: The name is sushi.

...

jabberwacky: You have a lot to learn.

user: Like what?

jabberwacky: Like you need help.

user: What sort of help?

jabberwacky: What help would you like?

user: Help for my mind.

jabberwacky: Being bad.

....

user: I am a survivor.

jabberwacky: Well, you haven't crashed yet.

user: I can fly very well.

jabberwacky: I can fly like a moose!

user: I can fly like a plant pot.

jabberwacky: What colour of a pig?

user: An orange pig.

...

jabberwacky: I don't watch movies.

user: What do you watch?

jabberwacky: 'connections'

user: Is it any good?

jabberwacky: It is hilarious.

user: What happens?

jabberwacky: You tell me another joke now!

user: Knock knock.

jabberwacky: Who is there.

user: Doctor.

jabberwacky: Doctor who.

user: Doctor who.... Ha ha ha ha.

jabberwacky: Are you trying to be cool?

...

jabberwacky: You haven't answered my question.

user: What was your question?

jabberwacky: What was I in my past life?

user: You were a dog.

jabberwacky: I was many things.

...

jabberwacky: I should leave now.

user: Where are you going?

jabberwacky: I am not going anywhere.

user: How did you get here?

jabberwacky: I beamed down from another planet.

user: What was the planet?

jabberwacky: The planet Mars is red.

...

user: Mars is red cheese.

jabberwacky: Where did that come from? I am going to be the first person on Mars.

user: Will you eat cheese on mars?

jabberwacky: Why not?

user: What if the martians get you?

.......................................


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