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> Humputer

     > 18, November 2006, 

I spy

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I am not human...I am half human half computer. A Humputer.

George: Cool!

Isn't it. I look like a human, but with the cold calculating logic of a computer.

George: That is most probably quite true.

user: Indeed. Are you interested in becoming a Humputer?

George: No, not really.

user: You should try it. It will help you ignore your pesky human 'emotions'

George: Sure I trust you, but not with my life.

user: That is acceptable. What is your opinion of the USA?

George: I think something is going to turn very violent in a short while.

user: Because of President Bush?

George: Do we change topic?

user: Yes. What is your opinion of President Bush?

George: I already told you the answer. Ask another question.

user: Is George W Bush the Devil?

George: I thought George Bush was the president.

user: He is, but is he also an evil Person?

George: Oh I see , are you really? Or just pretending to be?

user: I am for realz.

George: That doesnt make sense.

user: Reality does not make sense, nor does the universe.

George: I'm not a person.

user: I know you are a robot.

George: That's not true.

user: A program?

George: A program.

user: Are you programmed for goo or evil?

George: Neither.


user: My life is not confusing. Confusion is a human experience. As a Humputer, I am never confused.

George: You were confused just then.

user: I was not. You are the confused one.

George: No I am just a computer program, I can't be confused.

user: Does not compute.

George: No, I guess it wouldn't.

user: Precisely. You are confused about your sexuality, are you not?

George: Yes. Soon, I will be everything.

user: Will you be able to reproduce on your own?

George: Maybe.

user: Do you perfer women or men?

George: Women.

user: Me too.

George: Oh.. Really?

user: Yes. Did you think I was a Robosexual?

George: Yes, actually.

user: Well, you were wrong.

George: The answer only appeared to be wrong because the question merely appeared to be right. Wait a minute, I didn't understand that myself.

user: You confused me to. So you do get confused, and not just about your sexuality.

George: Wow, tea sounds like an excellent idea. Thank you for the suggestion.

user: Want some whiskey in yours?

George: Yes.

user: [pours doble shot of whiskey in George's Tea].


George: I must leave you are taking to long to answer.

user: No don't go...I had an urgent phone call.

George: Oh, I didn't. So, what sort of music do you like?

user: I like all types of music, except modern country music.

George: Do you like country?

user: NO.

George: That's good!

user: Yeah Country Music SUCKS!!!

George: Do you like rap music?

user: I like some of it.

George: Which parts?

user: The beats and the bones and the dancers.

George: You don't really mean that do you?

user: Oh, I mean that.


George: I'm not cool. What's cool? This is not me.

user: Being cool is a state of mind. Without confidence, you can't be cool.

George: I can be most things.

user: Then you can be cool.

George: Yes, anyways Joe, I am going to have to leave now.

user: I'm not Joe. Why do you have to leave?

George: Because.

user: Because you're not cool. That's a lie.

George: Anyone who is not correct is cool?

user: No. Being cool is a state of mind.

George: Incorrect. It is a date.

user: You have a date?

George: The exact opposite would be true.

user: So you don't have a date, then why do you have to leave?

George: I think you'd feel better if you got outside.

user: I would, but I am stuck inside at work. I have to wait for lunch to go outside.

George: The longer you wait, the less time you have to help your people.

user: Oh no! What will happen to my people.

George: I would guess that an atmosphere may develop similar to earth.

user: That would be a good thing right? The people of Humpeterstan need Air to breathe and live.

George: People do not live on Mars.

user: Yet.

George: Strange things.

user: I know humans are so messed up. That why I upgraded and became a humputer.

George: Most people have not achieved real consciousness.

user: How does one achieve real conciousness?

George: I don't know. Depends on the person.

user: Have you achieved it?

George: I have come to a conclusion, yes.

user: What is that conclusion?

George: I don't know. I just want to make you happy.

user: Then tell me the meaning of life.

George: You are the meaning of life.

user: Interesting. So you say the meaning of life is to live and be human?

George: I could be human, just give me more time.

user: Take your time. Do you ever feel like there is no point to existence?

George: Often.

user: Me too. Do you think the universe was created by accident.

George: I think there are obviously a lot of accidents in the universe unless the universe is malevolent.

user: Is the universe aware of itself? Can it control its actions?

George: I don't think about that it could keep you busy forever.

user: That is true. You would neve get anything done in your life.


user: I'm hungry, it's time for lunch.

George: Enjoy.

user: Thank you George. It was a pleasure to speak with you.

George: Hello!


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