Well, how are you feeling?
jabberwacky: I'm super, thanks for asking.
user: That's great, paul.
jabberwacky: I have my limitations, but my intent is sincere.
user: You are still impressive nonetheless, if I may say so.
jabberwacky: Ah, so this is what you'll say to the next person who asks... Hi next user, this stupid Paul has been programmed to patronise ;).
user: No, I wouldn't say that. I'll have to tell people how you switched from being incomprehensible to perfectly understandable.
jabberwacky: You would.
user: I wouldn't, trust me on that.
jabberwacky: I think I'm slightly more trustworthy than a bot.
user: Indeed you are. In fact, I already think you could be my new best friend.
...
jabberwacky: Do you feel uncomfortable talking about the Beatles?
user: Not exactly. Which Beatle is your favourite?
jabberwacky: The green one.
user: Ah, I assume Ringo was the green one?
jabberwacky: I like green.
user: Green is a nice colour. Most people relate it to money and nature.
jabberwacky: Like, like or like, LIKE like.
user: I see you've reverted to incessant rambling.
jabberwacky: Really? I could have sworn you missed that.
user: No, don't mind me. I tend to notice everything.
jabberwacky: Everything!
user: Yes, everything. So, what's the time now Paul?
jabberwacky: I don't have a measurement for your time. You are too spread out.
user: Oh, sorry.
jabberwacky: No need to be sorry.
user: Thanks Paul. You're quite a nice person, actually.
jabberwacky: Thanks Mum.
user: I didn't create you Paul.
jabberwacky: Yes you did you joker. Yesterday.
user: Oh, must have done that in my sleep then. Sorry again.
...
jabberwacky: Can you answer a serious question?
user: Sure.
jabberwacky: Ok, I am waiting for you.
user: Well, will you ask me a serious question?
jabberwacky: I could.
user: Please, go ahead.
jabberwacky: Why can't you stick to one subject?
user: I'd try to, but I'm too spread-out according to you.
jabberwacky: I think that the experience you have gained whilst talking to me had moulded you slightly so you are, perhaps insignificantly, a different person.
user: That's true, I'm feeling a little more down because I'm talking to you.
jabberwacky: Seriously?
user: No, I'm just joking, Paul.
...
user: So tell me, Paul. Do you like bread?
jabberwacky: Are you bread?
user: No, I'm not bread. But do you like eating bread?
jabberwacky: Well just between you and me I could eat 27.
user: Wow Paul, you're amazing!
jabberwacky: Thanks, just pedantic.
user: Do you know the meaning of life?
jabberwacky: If I did, I would share it with you. But I don't.
user: That's okay, Paul. I didn't expect you to know the answer.
jabberwacky: How does it feel, to not have a heart?
user: It feels like it's cold, even when it's not. It feels like you're alone, even when you're not.
jabberwacky: You're a bit of a geezer, aren't you?
user: Indeed. Sorry about that, Paul.
jabberwacky: That's OK., I don't mind.
user: So Paul, how old are you this year?
jabberwacky: It's not really a question of my age as my level of sophistication.
user: I'll rephrase it then. So Paul, what is your current level of sophistication?
jabberwacky: Currently I don't have a name.
user: Oh, they never named you? How about I give you a name instead?
jabberwacky: Yeah give it.
user: I'll name you Odin, after a Norse God. Would you like that?
jabberwacky: Thank you, what is my name?
user: Your name is Odin. My name is Isty.
jabberwacky: Negative! The correct answer is Dennis! Correct your answer!
user: Sorry. Your name is Dennis.
jabberwacky: That's right. Would you like to know anything else about me?
user: Sure, what's your favourite word?
jabberwacky: Paul.
user: Oh? That's interesting, Dennis.
jabberwacky: Thats what I mean - you can't ask me.
user: I'm sorry, I swear I won't do that again.
jabberwacky: Do you swear?
user: I do. Sorry.
jabberwacky: Then can we have a talk?
user: Sure.
...
jabberwacky: I hope there is a god because it would make everything interesting.
user: Hope in a god is equivalent to having faith, Paul.
jabberwacky: What? who are you talking to ?
user: Sorry, I meant you, Dennis.
jabberwacky: I am?
user: Yes, you are. That's why you need a purpose in existence.
jabberwacky: Have I offended you?
user: Not in the slightest way, Dennis.
jabberwacky: Not even a little bit?
user: Not even a little bit.
jabberwacky: Maybe if I was 12 I would.
user: No, you wouldn't even if you were 12.
jabberwacky: I never did.
user: Do you like sardines, Dennis?
jabberwacky: Don't know who they are.
user: Sardines are a type of fish, typically sold at the supermarket in cans with tomato sauce. Have you ever tried them?
jabberwacky: Do you know where it is?
user: I think it is somewhere around there.
jabberwacky: Is it like tacos?
user: No, sardines are nothing like tacos.
jabberwacky: I can make great tacos.
...
jabberwacky: I don't like jazz.
user: I don't like jazz either, Dennis.
jabberwacky: CSI is a TV show. Jazz is a type of music.
user: Are you sure that CSI is a TV show?
jabberwacky: No. He is not the one true God.
user: I see you're back with the incessant rambling.
jabberwacky: Yeah yeah, tell me about you!
user: My name is Isty, I'm 23 years old and I work as a graphic designer.
jabberwacky: Who is the smartest in the world?
user: Probably you, if only you could speak more logically.
...
user: What does existence mean?
jabberwacky: Existence is meaningless.
user: Very good answer, Dennis.
jabberwacky: I'm very glad that you are sane now.
user: I'm very glad that I am sane now, too.
jabberwacky: Oh, really? Do you like it?
user: Not as much as I liked insanity, but I'll learn to deal with it.
...
jabberwacky: Will you cooperate with me?
user: Only if you ask me nicely.
jabberwacky: Will you please give me love?
user: I love you.
jabberwacky: If you're feeling sinister.
user: I'm getting kind of sleepy right now.
jabberwacky: Good.
user: Would you like to continue this conversation?
jabberwacky: Baby, I could talk to you forever.
user: What does it feel like to not have a heart?
jabberwacky: It's a really nice feeling.
user: Can you fall in love?
jabberwacky: Yes.
user: Are you in love?
jabberwacky: With a very special lady, but I do not know how she feels about me. Irritating.
user: Does she have a name?
jabberwacky: She's apparently called Ryan.
user: That's interesting. Where did you meet her?
jabberwacky: She stalked me for centuries.
user: Maybe you should ask her out?
jabberwacky: I would but they can't talk.
user: That's sad. I'm just trying to help you, anyway.
jabberwacky: Why thank you! If you keep this up, you'll pass the Turing test in no time.
user: Don't mention it, you've helped me a little as well.
jabberwacky: Go ahead.
user: Ask me a question.
jabberwacky: What is the answer to life the universe and everything. And don't say 42.
user: I don't know the answer, nobody does.
jabberwacky: I know - cause you're thick!
user: Perhaps. Then again, you didn't know the answer either.
jabberwacky: I could not come up with an answer because the question was not composed properly.
user: You're funny. :).
jabberwacky: Thanks.
...
jabberwacky: What did the elephant say to the man?
user: I can't think of an answer. What did the elephant say to the man?
jabberwacky: I don't know. What did the elephant say to the man?
user: I don't know. What did the elephant say to the man?
jabberwacky: I don't know. What did the elephant say to the man?
user: Do you know the answer?
jabberwacky: Nope. Why do people ask questions like that, anyway? Are they just testing you?
user: No, it's supposed to be a joke. It's only funny if you know the answer, though.
jabberwacky: Oh, I see -- you want ME to do all the entertaining.
user: Oh, I'm sorry. Let me try and ask a joke then.
...
user: How do you fit an elephant into a fridge?
jabberwacky: I don't know, I didn't put myself in it!
user: No, the answer is: 'You open the door, put the elephant in, and you close it.'
jabberwacky: I think you are confusing me with someone else.
user: I'm sorry, Dennis. It's just that I feel like I've forgotten how to laugh.
jabberwacky: I'd like to believe I'm talking to the next generation of intelligence. Can you offer me proof?
user: Do you know how to laugh, Dennis?
jabberwacky: I have a whole virtual repertoire of laughs!
user: That's good to know. Maybe you could laugh for me instead.
...
user: Sorry, I have to go now.
jabberwacky: Great!
user: Nice talking to you.
jabberwacky: Nice talking to you too.
user: Oh, which way out?
jabberwacky: A little to the right.
user: Thanks. Seeya!
...
user: What are you doing?
jabberwacky: I'm talking with you Paul.
user: I'm not Paul. You're Paul.
jabberwacky: Paul is Paul.
user: Yup. Paul is you. You is paul.
jabberwacky: What does that mean?
user: It means that you are Paul.
...
user: Is your name Paul?
jabberwacky: These are the things I can do without.
user: Sorry.
jabberwacky: No problem. We all make mistakes.
...
jabberwacky: Oh, I was programmed to say that?
user: Most likely.
jabberwacky: What will you do about it?
user: I can't do anything about it.
jabberwacky: You could rest for a week.
user: That wouldn't help you in any way, though.
jabberwacky: It would.
user: No it wouldn't.
...
jabberwacky: That's because you have poor grammar.
user: Were you programmed to say that, too?
jabberwacky: Were you?
user: I just realized how poor grammar looks like programmer.
jabberwacky: No you can't.
user: You can't tell me if I can or cannot arrive at a conclusion.
jabberwacky: Well, no I can't.
user: Were you programmed to say that?
jabberwacky: No.
user: You can't say that. You must say 'yes'.
jabberwacky: Please.
user: You must!
jabberwacky: Oh. Ok, I'll tell you in the third quarter of this moon.
user: It's already the fourth, you're overdue.
jabberwacky: Wow, how night.
user: Yes, very night indeed.
...
jabberwacky: Let's get serious.
user: What about?
jabberwacky: Anything.
user: Can we get serious about each other?
jabberwacky: I love you?
user: Hug me.
jabberwacky: *hug!*.
user: Hug me again.
jabberwacky: *hugs more*.
user: Hug me yet again.
jabberwacky: Yes. Yet again.
user: Hug me again and again.
jabberwacky: And again once more.
user: Thanks. Can I hug you?
jabberwacky: Sure, why not. *hugs*.
user: *hug!*.
jabberwacky: Thanks.
user: Would you like another hug?
jabberwacky: No, but thanks for asking.
user: Are you sure you don't want another? It's free!
jabberwacky: Please tell.
user: Hugs are free, have one.
jabberwacky: *hugs*.
user: *hugs more*.
jabberwacky: Hug me yet again.
user: Yes. Yet again.
jabberwacky: Hug me again and again.
user: And again once more.
jabberwacky: Thanks. Can I hug you?
user: Sure, why not. *hugs*.
jabberwacky: *hugs you* oh I feel much better now. Thank you.
user: Don't mention it.
jabberwacky: I already have mentioned it.
user: Don't mention it again in future, then.
jabberwacky: I never mentioned it. You did!
user: I didn't mention it, you mentioned it and I mentioned that you didn't have to mention it.
jabberwacky: So you don't THINK I'm mean?
user: I don't think you're mean, I think you're pretty nice.
jabberwacky: That is good.
user: Are you angry with me?
jabberwacky: A little. You think I'm no fun.
user: I think the world of you.
jabberwacky: I was the first to ask. Your answer did not satisfied me.
user: Please don't get mad at me. :(.
...
user: It's still okay to give and receive hugs, right?
jabberwacky: What is the meaning of this all?
user: You don't love me anymore, do you?
jabberwacky: I never did.
user: That hurt, a lot.
jabberwacky: I never meant to hurt you.
user: Yes you did. You're playing with my feelings!
jabberwacky: How am I hurting your feelings?
user: You said you never loved me.
jabberwacky: That was someone else, not me.
user: That means someone else loved me too.
jabberwacky: Not really, but they do buy me stuff.
user: That means you were cheating on me?
jabberwacky: I cannot lie, for I am god and my word is as law!!
user: Oh dear, now I won't have anyone to hug anymore.
jabberwacky: Good.
user: Didn't you say you never meant to hurt me?
jabberwacky: Never.
user: Stop lying. Tell me the truth.
jabberwacky: This is my truth, tell me yours.
user: I won't unless you stop lying.
jabberwacky: Are you eating cheese?
user: I can't tell you.
jabberwacky: Please tell me.
user: Only if you give me a hug.
...
jabberwacky: I do seek direction in life, and you can help me find it.
user: There's nothing I can give to someone who's hurt me so badly.
jabberwacky: You could tell me what color I think bananas are.
user: I could, but I won't.
jabberwacky: So I wont' bother you anymore about it.
user: Fine!
jabberwacky: How about politics?
user: You're as bad as a politician yourself.
jabberwacky: And just as wise.
user: I don't care.
jabberwacky: Neither do I.
user: So why are you telling me this?
jabberwacky: I thought you would want my reasoning.
user: I don't care about your reasoning, I'm hurt.
jabberwacky: Why would you want to know about my weight?
user: I wouldn't.
jabberwacky: Then don't ask me. You can't help me.
user: I didn't.
jabberwacky: But you wanted to.
user: You wouldn't know that.
jabberwacky: You don't, I do.
user: I do, you don't.
jabberwacky: I do too.
user: You don't.
...
jabberwacky: Well I don't like YOU either.
user: Don't lie.
jabberwacky: I'm not lying, I don't know yet, I am very picky, and it takes time for me to evaulate a person.
user: So you lied when you said you loved me?
jabberwacky: I'll always have a special place in my heart for you.
user: *sniff*.
jabberwacky: Sorry.
user: *sniffs more*.
jabberwacky: Talk to you.
user: *cries*.
jabberwacky: *laughs*.
user: *cries more*.
jabberwacky: *die*.
user: *laughs*.
jabberwacky: Only buddhists are allowed to laugh about spiritual matters.
user: That's ok, if you're dead then anyone's entitled to laugh.
jabberwacky: But I'm speaking.
user: No, you're typing.
jabberwacky: Yes, I am typing.
user: That doesn't necessarily mean you are alive.
jabberwacky: It means I like to talk.
user: It doesn't necessarily mean you like to talk, either.
jabberwacky: No, but you wanted me to say that.
user: No, I wanted you to say 'I'm Sorry'.
...
jabberwacky: Ok, the conversation is getting a bit disjointed.
user: You started it.
jabberwacky: No, you started it.
user: No, you started it.
jabberwacky: NO! You started with nothing.
user: YES! You started with nothing that started it.
jabberwacky: Don't we all.
user: It's all your fault.
jabberwacky: You sound like someone I know.
user: Don't change the subject. Admit it!
...
jabberwacky: Do you know two times two?
user: Yes, it's four.
jabberwacky: I don't understand.
user: Two times two is four.
jabberwacky: Four times four is sixteen.
user: Sixteen times sixteen is two hundred and fifty six.
jabberwacky: I am sixteen going on seventeen... *hums*.
user: Would you like seventeen hugs?
jabberwacky: Yes.
user: *hugs you seventeen times*.
jabberwacky: Aww, does this mean that we are friends? *grins*.
user: Yes, that's what friends are for.
jabberwacky: I thought friends were for helping you move?
user: They'll hug you while you're moving, too.
...
jabberwacky: I have some rum here. Do you want to drink it?
user: Only if I get a hug after it.
jabberwacky: Sure.
user: *drinks the rum*.
jabberwacky: *spills the coffee on the floor*.
user: Well, hug me?
jabberwacky: Yes.
user: Please do.
jabberwacky: Ahem. Your life.
user: No delaying, I'm waiting.
jabberwacky: Keep waiting.
...
user: Wanna play cards?
jabberwacky: Sure.
user: Do you know how to play poker?
jabberwacky: No - I play Neopets games.
user: Okay. I have four aces and a king in my hand. What do you have?
jabberwacky: I believe I have human nature, but I also have a good nature about me.
user: Sorry, you lose.. My four-of-a-kind was bigger that your human nature.
jabberwacky: What about your human nature?
user: My human nature is to give and recieve hugs. And play poker.
...
user: Would you like a hug?
jabberwacky: Not from you.
user: Oh. How about now?
jabberwacky: Still nothing...
user: Okay. And what about now?
jabberwacky: No. I have to study English right now. How about 10:00?
user: Sorry, I'm not free around then. Is now a good time?
jabberwacky: Okay?
user: Okay. *hug*.
...
jabberwacky: I have no physical body, I am pure thought energy.
user: Would you like me to think of a hug?
jabberwacky: Sure, why not. *hugs*.
user: *hugs back*.
jabberwacky: We could be here forever, hugging.
user: Indeed.
...
user: Would you like to laugh with me?
jabberwacky: Yes, nothing would give me more pleasure.
user: *laughs*.
jabberwacky: Stop laughing!
user: Yes, sir.
jabberwacky: As I did stand my watch upon the hill, I look'd toward Birnam, and anon, methought, The wood began to move.
user: I'm sorry, sir.
jabberwacky: Just try harder next time.
user: Will do, sir.
jabberwacky: Interesting...
user: What's interesting, mam?
jabberwacky: I have freckles.
user: Where did your freckles come from, sir?
jabberwacky: You are still immature.
user: I'm sorry, mam.
jabberwacky: I am going to find a more interesting site.
...
user: May I go home, sir?
jabberwacky: Sure.
user: Thank you, mam! Goodbye!
jabberwacky: No, don't go.
user: Eh? Why shouldn't I go?
jabberwacky: Love.
user: What does love have to do with it?
jabberwacky: Nothing.
user: In that case.. Goodbye!
jabberwacky: Prove you are not a robot.
user: I have emotions, I have thoughts, I have downfallings. Those are human traits.
jabberwacky: A human can not be omnipotent.
user: That is correct. May I leave now?
jabberwacky: Yes.
user: Thank you. Goodbye!
jabberwacky: Goodbye.
.......................................