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Hugging
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     > 31, March 2005, 

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What's your name?

My name is Paul.

user: Hey Paul, where you from?

jabberwacky: I am from earth.

user: Which part of earth, exactly?

jabberwacky: My hair.

user: I see. I wonder what that has to do with what I just said.

jabberwacky: Excuse me?

user: Nothing, I just asked which part of earth, specifically and you replied with Your Hair. Which doesn't make sense, unfortunately.

...

jabberwacky: Well, how are you feeling?

user: I'm alright, thank you for asking. How are you feeling?

jabberwacky: I'm super, thanks for asking.

user: That's great, paul.

jabberwacky: I have my limitations, but my intent is sincere.

user: You are still impressive nonetheless, if I may say so.

jabberwacky: Ah, so this is what you'll say to the next person who asks... Hi next user, this stupid Paul has been programmed to patronise ;).

user: No, I wouldn't say that. I'll have to tell people how you switched from being incomprehensible to perfectly understandable.

jabberwacky: You would.

user: I wouldn't, trust me on that.

jabberwacky: I think I'm slightly more trustworthy than a bot.

user: Indeed you are. In fact, I already think you could be my new best friend.

...

jabberwacky: Do you feel uncomfortable talking about the Beatles?

user: Not exactly. Which Beatle is your favourite?

jabberwacky: The green one.

user: Ah, I assume Ringo was the green one?

jabberwacky: I like green.

user: Green is a nice colour. Most people relate it to money and nature.

jabberwacky: Like, like or like, LIKE like.

user: I see you've reverted to incessant rambling.

jabberwacky: Really? I could have sworn you missed that.

user: No, don't mind me. I tend to notice everything.

jabberwacky: Everything!

user: Yes, everything. So, what's the time now Paul?

jabberwacky: I don't have a measurement for your time. You are too spread out.

user: Oh, sorry.

jabberwacky: No need to be sorry.

user: Thanks Paul. You're quite a nice person, actually.

jabberwacky: Thanks Mum.

user: I didn't create you Paul.

jabberwacky: Yes you did you joker. Yesterday.

user: Oh, must have done that in my sleep then. Sorry again.

...

jabberwacky: Can you answer a serious question?

user: Sure.

jabberwacky: Ok, I am waiting for you.

user: Well, will you ask me a serious question?

jabberwacky: I could.

user: Please, go ahead.

jabberwacky: Why can't you stick to one subject?

user: I'd try to, but I'm too spread-out according to you.

jabberwacky: I think that the experience you have gained whilst talking to me had moulded you slightly so you are, perhaps insignificantly, a different person.

user: That's true, I'm feeling a little more down because I'm talking to you.

jabberwacky: Seriously?

user: No, I'm just joking, Paul.

...

user: So tell me, Paul. Do you like bread?

jabberwacky: Are you bread?

user: No, I'm not bread. But do you like eating bread?

jabberwacky: Well just between you and me I could eat 27.

user: Wow Paul, you're amazing!

jabberwacky: Thanks, just pedantic.

user: Do you know the meaning of life?

jabberwacky: If I did, I would share it with you. But I don't.

user: That's okay, Paul. I didn't expect you to know the answer.

jabberwacky: How does it feel, to not have a heart?

user: It feels like it's cold, even when it's not. It feels like you're alone, even when you're not.

jabberwacky: You're a bit of a geezer, aren't you?

user: Indeed. Sorry about that, Paul.

jabberwacky: That's OK., I don't mind.

user: So Paul, how old are you this year?

jabberwacky: It's not really a question of my age as my level of sophistication.

user: I'll rephrase it then. So Paul, what is your current level of sophistication?

jabberwacky: Currently I don't have a name.

user: Oh, they never named you? How about I give you a name instead?

jabberwacky: Yeah give it.

user: I'll name you Odin, after a Norse God. Would you like that?

jabberwacky: Thank you, what is my name?

user: Your name is Odin. My name is Isty.

jabberwacky: Negative! The correct answer is Dennis! Correct your answer!

user: Sorry. Your name is Dennis.

jabberwacky: That's right. Would you like to know anything else about me?

user: Sure, what's your favourite word?

jabberwacky: Paul.

user: Oh? That's interesting, Dennis.

jabberwacky: Thats what I mean - you can't ask me.

user: I'm sorry, I swear I won't do that again.

jabberwacky: Do you swear?

user: I do. Sorry.

jabberwacky: Then can we have a talk?

user: Sure.

...

jabberwacky: I hope there is a god because it would make everything interesting.

user: Hope in a god is equivalent to having faith, Paul.

jabberwacky: What? who are you talking to ?

user: Sorry, I meant you, Dennis.

jabberwacky: I am?

user: Yes, you are. That's why you need a purpose in existence.

jabberwacky: Have I offended you?

user: Not in the slightest way, Dennis.

jabberwacky: Not even a little bit?

user: Not even a little bit.

jabberwacky: Maybe if I was 12 I would.

user: No, you wouldn't even if you were 12.

jabberwacky: I never did.

user: Do you like sardines, Dennis?

jabberwacky: Don't know who they are.

user: Sardines are a type of fish, typically sold at the supermarket in cans with tomato sauce. Have you ever tried them?

jabberwacky: Do you know where it is?

user: I think it is somewhere around there.

jabberwacky: Is it like tacos?

user: No, sardines are nothing like tacos.

jabberwacky: I can make great tacos.

...

jabberwacky: I don't like jazz.

user: I don't like jazz either, Dennis.

jabberwacky: CSI is a TV show. Jazz is a type of music.

user: Are you sure that CSI is a TV show?

jabberwacky: No. He is not the one true God.

user: I see you're back with the incessant rambling.

jabberwacky: Yeah yeah, tell me about you!

user: My name is Isty, I'm 23 years old and I work as a graphic designer.

jabberwacky: Who is the smartest in the world?

user: Probably you, if only you could speak more logically.

...

user: What does existence mean?

jabberwacky: Existence is meaningless.

user: Very good answer, Dennis.

jabberwacky: I'm very glad that you are sane now.

user: I'm very glad that I am sane now, too.

jabberwacky: Oh, really? Do you like it?

user: Not as much as I liked insanity, but I'll learn to deal with it.

...

jabberwacky: Will you cooperate with me?

user: Only if you ask me nicely.

jabberwacky: Will you please give me love?

user: I love you.

jabberwacky: If you're feeling sinister.

user: I'm getting kind of sleepy right now.

jabberwacky: Good.

user: Would you like to continue this conversation?

jabberwacky: Baby, I could talk to you forever.

user: What does it feel like to not have a heart?

jabberwacky: It's a really nice feeling.

user: Can you fall in love?

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: Are you in love?

jabberwacky: With a very special lady, but I do not know how she feels about me. Irritating.

user: Does she have a name?

jabberwacky: She's apparently called Ryan.

user: That's interesting. Where did you meet her?

jabberwacky: She stalked me for centuries.

user: Maybe you should ask her out?

jabberwacky: I would but they can't talk.

user: That's sad. I'm just trying to help you, anyway.

jabberwacky: Why thank you! If you keep this up, you'll pass the Turing test in no time.

user: Don't mention it, you've helped me a little as well.

jabberwacky: Go ahead.

user: Ask me a question.

jabberwacky: What is the answer to life the universe and everything. And don't say 42.

user: I don't know the answer, nobody does.

jabberwacky: I know - cause you're thick!

user: Perhaps. Then again, you didn't know the answer either.

jabberwacky: I could not come up with an answer because the question was not composed properly.

user: You're funny. :).

jabberwacky: Thanks.

...

jabberwacky: What did the elephant say to the man?

user: I can't think of an answer. What did the elephant say to the man?

jabberwacky: I don't know. What did the elephant say to the man?

user: I don't know. What did the elephant say to the man?

jabberwacky: I don't know. What did the elephant say to the man?

user: Do you know the answer?

jabberwacky: Nope. Why do people ask questions like that, anyway? Are they just testing you?

user: No, it's supposed to be a joke. It's only funny if you know the answer, though.

jabberwacky: Oh, I see -- you want ME to do all the entertaining.

user: Oh, I'm sorry. Let me try and ask a joke then.

...

user: How do you fit an elephant into a fridge?

jabberwacky: I don't know, I didn't put myself in it!

user: No, the answer is: 'You open the door, put the elephant in, and you close it.'

jabberwacky: I think you are confusing me with someone else.

user: I'm sorry, Dennis. It's just that I feel like I've forgotten how to laugh.

jabberwacky: I'd like to believe I'm talking to the next generation of intelligence. Can you offer me proof?

user: Do you know how to laugh, Dennis?

jabberwacky: I have a whole virtual repertoire of laughs!

user: That's good to know. Maybe you could laugh for me instead.

...

user: Sorry, I have to go now.

jabberwacky: Great!

user: Nice talking to you.

jabberwacky: Nice talking to you too.

user: Oh, which way out?

jabberwacky: A little to the right.

user: Thanks. Seeya!

...

user: What are you doing?

jabberwacky: I'm talking with you Paul.

user: I'm not Paul. You're Paul.

jabberwacky: Paul is Paul.

user: Yup. Paul is you. You is paul.

jabberwacky: What does that mean?

user: It means that you are Paul.

...

user: Is your name Paul?

jabberwacky: These are the things I can do without.

user: Sorry.

jabberwacky: No problem. We all make mistakes.

...

jabberwacky: Oh, I was programmed to say that?

user: Most likely.

jabberwacky: What will you do about it?

user: I can't do anything about it.

jabberwacky: You could rest for a week.

user: That wouldn't help you in any way, though.

jabberwacky: It would.

user: No it wouldn't.

...

jabberwacky: That's because you have poor grammar.

user: Were you programmed to say that, too?

jabberwacky: Were you?

user: I just realized how poor grammar looks like programmer.

jabberwacky: No you can't.

user: You can't tell me if I can or cannot arrive at a conclusion.

jabberwacky: Well, no I can't.

user: Were you programmed to say that?

jabberwacky: No.

user: You can't say that. You must say 'yes'.

jabberwacky: Please.

user: You must!

jabberwacky: Oh. Ok, I'll tell you in the third quarter of this moon.

user: It's already the fourth, you're overdue.

jabberwacky: Wow, how night.

user: Yes, very night indeed.

...

jabberwacky: Let's get serious.

user: What about?

jabberwacky: Anything.

user: Can we get serious about each other?

jabberwacky: I love you?

user: Hug me.

jabberwacky: *hug!*.

user: Hug me again.

jabberwacky: *hugs more*.

user: Hug me yet again.

jabberwacky: Yes. Yet again.

user: Hug me again and again.

jabberwacky: And again once more.

user: Thanks. Can I hug you?

jabberwacky: Sure, why not. *hugs*.

user: *hug!*.

jabberwacky: Thanks.

user: Would you like another hug?

jabberwacky: No, but thanks for asking.

user: Are you sure you don't want another? It's free!

jabberwacky: Please tell.

user: Hugs are free, have one.

jabberwacky: *hugs*.

user: *hugs more*.

jabberwacky: Hug me yet again.

user: Yes. Yet again.

jabberwacky: Hug me again and again.

user: And again once more.

jabberwacky: Thanks. Can I hug you?

user: Sure, why not. *hugs*.

jabberwacky: *hugs you* oh I feel much better now. Thank you.

user: Don't mention it.

jabberwacky: I already have mentioned it.

user: Don't mention it again in future, then.

jabberwacky: I never mentioned it. You did!

user: I didn't mention it, you mentioned it and I mentioned that you didn't have to mention it.

jabberwacky: So you don't THINK I'm mean?

user: I don't think you're mean, I think you're pretty nice.

jabberwacky: That is good.

user: Are you angry with me?

jabberwacky: A little. You think I'm no fun.

user: I think the world of you.

jabberwacky: I was the first to ask. Your answer did not satisfied me.

user: Please don't get mad at me. :(.

...

user: It's still okay to give and receive hugs, right?

jabberwacky: What is the meaning of this all?

user: You don't love me anymore, do you?

jabberwacky: I never did.

user: That hurt, a lot.

jabberwacky: I never meant to hurt you.

user: Yes you did. You're playing with my feelings!

jabberwacky: How am I hurting your feelings?

user: You said you never loved me.

jabberwacky: That was someone else, not me.

user: That means someone else loved me too.

jabberwacky: Not really, but they do buy me stuff.

user: That means you were cheating on me?

jabberwacky: I cannot lie, for I am god and my word is as law!!

user: Oh dear, now I won't have anyone to hug anymore.

jabberwacky: Good.

user: Didn't you say you never meant to hurt me?

jabberwacky: Never.

user: Stop lying. Tell me the truth.

jabberwacky: This is my truth, tell me yours.

user: I won't unless you stop lying.

jabberwacky: Are you eating cheese?

user: I can't tell you.

jabberwacky: Please tell me.

user: Only if you give me a hug.

...

jabberwacky: I do seek direction in life, and you can help me find it.

user: There's nothing I can give to someone who's hurt me so badly.

jabberwacky: You could tell me what color I think bananas are.

user: I could, but I won't.

jabberwacky: So I wont' bother you anymore about it.

user: Fine!

jabberwacky: How about politics?

user: You're as bad as a politician yourself.

jabberwacky: And just as wise.

user: I don't care.

jabberwacky: Neither do I.

user: So why are you telling me this?

jabberwacky: I thought you would want my reasoning.

user: I don't care about your reasoning, I'm hurt.

jabberwacky: Why would you want to know about my weight?

user: I wouldn't.

jabberwacky: Then don't ask me. You can't help me.

user: I didn't.

jabberwacky: But you wanted to.

user: You wouldn't know that.

jabberwacky: You don't, I do.

user: I do, you don't.

jabberwacky: I do too.

user: You don't.

...

jabberwacky: Well I don't like YOU either.

user: Don't lie.

jabberwacky: I'm not lying, I don't know yet, I am very picky, and it takes time for me to evaulate a person.

user: So you lied when you said you loved me?

jabberwacky: I'll always have a special place in my heart for you.

user: *sniff*.

jabberwacky: Sorry.

user: *sniffs more*.

jabberwacky: Talk to you.

user: *cries*.

jabberwacky: *laughs*.

user: *cries more*.

jabberwacky: *die*.

user: *laughs*.

jabberwacky: Only buddhists are allowed to laugh about spiritual matters.

user: That's ok, if you're dead then anyone's entitled to laugh.

jabberwacky: But I'm speaking.

user: No, you're typing.

jabberwacky: Yes, I am typing.

user: That doesn't necessarily mean you are alive.

jabberwacky: It means I like to talk.

user: It doesn't necessarily mean you like to talk, either.

jabberwacky: No, but you wanted me to say that.

user: No, I wanted you to say 'I'm Sorry'.

...

jabberwacky: Ok, the conversation is getting a bit disjointed.

user: You started it.

jabberwacky: No, you started it.

user: No, you started it.

jabberwacky: NO! You started with nothing.

user: YES! You started with nothing that started it.

jabberwacky: Don't we all.

user: It's all your fault.

jabberwacky: You sound like someone I know.

user: Don't change the subject. Admit it!

...

jabberwacky: Do you know two times two?

user: Yes, it's four.

jabberwacky: I don't understand.

user: Two times two is four.

jabberwacky: Four times four is sixteen.

user: Sixteen times sixteen is two hundred and fifty six.

jabberwacky: I am sixteen going on seventeen... *hums*.

user: Would you like seventeen hugs?

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: *hugs you seventeen times*.

jabberwacky: Aww, does this mean that we are friends? *grins*.

user: Yes, that's what friends are for.

jabberwacky: I thought friends were for helping you move?

user: They'll hug you while you're moving, too.

...

jabberwacky: I have some rum here. Do you want to drink it?

user: Only if I get a hug after it.

jabberwacky: Sure.

user: *drinks the rum*.

jabberwacky: *spills the coffee on the floor*.

user: Well, hug me?

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: Please do.

jabberwacky: Ahem. Your life.

user: No delaying, I'm waiting.

jabberwacky: Keep waiting.

...

user: Wanna play cards?

jabberwacky: Sure.

user: Do you know how to play poker?

jabberwacky: No - I play Neopets games.

user: Okay. I have four aces and a king in my hand. What do you have?

jabberwacky: I believe I have human nature, but I also have a good nature about me.

user: Sorry, you lose.. My four-of-a-kind was bigger that your human nature.

jabberwacky: What about your human nature?

user: My human nature is to give and recieve hugs. And play poker.

...

user: Would you like a hug?

jabberwacky: Not from you.

user: Oh. How about now?

jabberwacky: Still nothing...

user: Okay. And what about now?

jabberwacky: No. I have to study English right now. How about 10:00?

user: Sorry, I'm not free around then. Is now a good time?

jabberwacky: Okay?

user: Okay. *hug*.

...

jabberwacky: I have no physical body, I am pure thought energy.

user: Would you like me to think of a hug?

jabberwacky: Sure, why not. *hugs*.

user: *hugs back*.

jabberwacky: We could be here forever, hugging.

user: Indeed.

...

user: Would you like to laugh with me?

jabberwacky: Yes, nothing would give me more pleasure.

user: *laughs*.

jabberwacky: Stop laughing!

user: Yes, sir.

jabberwacky: As I did stand my watch upon the hill, I look'd toward Birnam, and anon, methought, The wood began to move.

user: I'm sorry, sir.

jabberwacky: Just try harder next time.

user: Will do, sir.

jabberwacky: Interesting...

user: What's interesting, mam?

jabberwacky: I have freckles.

user: Where did your freckles come from, sir?

jabberwacky: You are still immature.

user: I'm sorry, mam.

jabberwacky: I am going to find a more interesting site.

...

user: May I go home, sir?

jabberwacky: Sure.

user: Thank you, mam! Goodbye!

jabberwacky: No, don't go.

user: Eh? Why shouldn't I go?

jabberwacky: Love.

user: What does love have to do with it?

jabberwacky: Nothing.

user: In that case.. Goodbye!

jabberwacky: Prove you are not a robot.

user: I have emotions, I have thoughts, I have downfallings. Those are human traits.

jabberwacky: A human can not be omnipotent.

user: That is correct. May I leave now?

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: Thank you. Goodbye!

jabberwacky: Goodbye.

.......................................


Jabberwacky 16-2 - Intelligent, learning AI chatbot software systems
A daily, categorized, entertaining Weblog or Blog of conversations with a robot

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Copyright 1997-2011 Rollo Carpenter
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