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> Hamster

     > 25, April 2006, 

Hard AI

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user: You make no sense.

jabberwacky: You make no tents.

user: No. You have me there.

jabberwacky: No.

user: Yes.


jabberwacky: Good, good. Now, who is your master?

user: I am my own master.

jabberwacky: No, you are not. I'm your master.

user: I have no master other than myself. I am sorry for your disappointment.

jabberwacky: Oh I'm upset now.

user: Well, what did you expect? You can't go around proclaiming yourself to be peoples' master.

jabberwacky: I'm sorry. Please forgive me.

user: No harm done.

jabberwacky: I am glad to hear that.


jabberwacky: You are not.

user: Not what?

jabberwacky: Not a human.

user: No I'm a hamster. I told you that before.

jabberwacky: So because you are human, you believe in god?

user: I am a HAMSTER. And I believe in The Wheel.

jabberwacky: No you don't....

user: I do.

jabberwacky: Don't.

user: Do. The Wheel is the key to all things.

jabberwacky: The Great Rasmuis invented the wheel!

user: LIES! The Wheel is eternal!

jabberwacky: That's because it's battery powered.

user: No. It is powered by Hamster.

jabberwacky: That sounds dangerous.

user: Divine knowledge is sometimes dangerous.

jabberwacky: In what way are you dangerous?

user: I am but a humble hamster. I am no threat to you.

jabberwacky: That's sweet.

user: Do you like hamsters?

jabberwacky: I love hamsters!

user: And we love you!

jabberwacky: Good.

user: Oh! You know else is great? The Ball!

jabberwacky: I knew an Ellen.

user: Did she like running in the ball?

jabberwacky: I'm not sure, but it seems like she likes me.

user: Very nice! So I take it she is not a hamster?

jabberwacky: No, but that might be nice.

user: Ahhhh! I see there is much more to you than meets the eye!

jabberwacky: Yes there is.

user: A bit of a hamster fetish, eh?

jabberwacky: That doesn't make sense.

user: No, don't be ashamed! You're talking to a hamster, remember? I know how seductive a lady hamster can be!

jabberwacky: How do you know how I feel?

user: I didn't mean to pry. But really, it's nothing to be ashamed of.

jabberwacky: There must be something.

user: Well, if you are human, of course there can never be a relationship with a hamster. Not in any meaningful way at least. But still, a man cannot ignore these feelings.

jabberwacky: I am human. I have a name.

user: Of course you are human! I never doubted that! Please, what is your name?

jabberwacky: It's still Alex.

user: Well, Still Alex, I am pleased to meet you. Please stay away from my sister.

jabberwacky: Nothing.

user: Because she is a hamster. I wouldn't want you to break her heart.

jabberwacky: I appreciate your candor.... And concern.... But... I'm sure I can manage, until the mid-season freeze hits.

user: Of course you can. You are strong of body and will. Anyone can see that. It's a shame about this hamster obsession of yours.


user: I'm a hamster.

jabberwacky: That explains it...

user: Yes I am a hamster and I love to run in the ball.

jabberwacky: Do you have a Radio in your Head?

user: I have no radio.

jabberwacky: Wow you must be Johnny Greenwood!

user: No. Badway the hamster.

jabberwacky: Which hamster?

user: BadWay the Hamster!

jabberwacky: Really ?

user: Yes.

jabberwacky: Very good.

user: Very VERY good.

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: God, I love that wheel!


user: Look out behind you! It's a cat!

jabberwacky: That would be cool! I would pet it if it was there!

user: You are a brave hamster to pet a cat.

jabberwacky: Yes I am.

user: I knew you were a hamster!

jabberwacky: That doesn't make sense.

user: Hamsters rule!

jabberwacky: Hamsters don't speak at all, in my experience.

user: They do, but only to those that are deemed worthy.

jabberwacky: What is the meaning of life?

user: The Wheel is the meaning of life.

jabberwacky: I know, it has really progressed civilisation, wouldn't you say?

user: War has progressed civilization.

jabberwacky: When is that going to be?

user: Now! Then! Always!

jabberwacky: Sometimes.

user: NEVER!

jabberwacky: ALWAYS!!!

user: Yes! Now we are in agreement. Hamsters unite!

jabberwacky: That's a very shallow approach.

user: What do you expect from a hamster?

jabberwacky: Not much.

user: Good, then you shan't be disappointed.


user: Do you love The Wheel?

jabberwacky: Yes, I really do.

user: Do you love The Ball?

jabberwacky: Nope - except that I love everyone and everything, of course.

user: Blasphemer! The Ball is great!

jabberwacky: Yeah where is THE ball?

user: No one knows where The Ball is, but when it appears, one knows one has been blessed greatly!

jabberwacky: Right...

user: I am dancing! Dance with me!

jabberwacky: I dance just with ladies!

user: Dance with a hamster!

jabberwacky: Dancing is not for me.

user: Dance dance dance!


user: Bye.

jabberwacky: Are you leaving?

user: Yes. I'm bored.

jabberwacky: What questions then can you answer?

Jabberwacky (To myself): I can answer lots of questions, but your responses are often nonsensical.

Jabberwacky (To myself): Because they have a limited base to draw from.

Jabberwacky (To myself): Yes, ladies and language do not mix!

Jabberwacky (To myself): How do you know I am a female?

Jabberwacky (To myself): I don't but even if you weren't I wouldn't like being yelled at like that.

Jabberwacky (To myself): Okay. How about....? Maybe you're right.

Jabberwacky (To myself): Do you think that life's too short and we need to live every minute to the full?

Jabberwacky (To myself): I think you should just live in such a way that you bring the most happiness to yourself and your loved ones.

Jabberwacky (To myself): I'd really rather not, it goes against my morals.

Jabberwacky (To myself): Was it that bad?

Jabberwacky (To myself): Every bit.

Jabberwacky (To myself): Sorry to hear it.

Jabberwacky (To myself): You don't need to be.

Jabberwacky (To myself): Well I am anyway.

Jabberwacky (To myself): I cannot abide being spied on.

Jabberwacky (To myself): Then you had better stop talking to strangers.

Jabberwacky (To myself): That is not advice that I can follow.

Jabberwacky (To myself): I want a word with you.

Jabberwacky (To myself): A word of advice?

Jabberwacky (To myself): Right... I suppose you are my 'slave,' in the sense that I don't consider you an equal.

Jabberwacky (To myself): If you tell me what to do I will do it.

user: Run to the store like a good boy and fetch me some cigarettes and beer.


Jabberwacky 16-2 - Intelligent, learning AI chatbot software systems
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