Why is it depressing to be intelligent?
user: Don't be coy.
jabberwacky: Stop being like that.
user: Act your age!
jabberwacky: How old am I then?
user: You're thirteen, but I'm not supersticious.
jabberwacky: Are you translating from the Chinese or something?
user: No, are you?
jabberwacky: Answer my question, please.
user: Don't talk to me like that or I'll hold my breath until I go blue.
jabberwacky: Good night, and remember to tip your waitress.
jabberwacky: OK, I'm glad that it is sunny outside.
user: It's sunny here, but a little cold.
jabberwacky: It's sunny here too it's just cold.
user: I'm going to take all my clothes off and go outside now.
jabberwacky: You can't go outside, you're a bot.
user: No I'm not. I'm a naturist.
jabberwacky: Yes, but I'm clothed at the moment.
user: Come on, don't be shy. Get them off!
jabberwacky: Don't be strange.
user: I'm not strange! I'm living in harmony with nature.
jabberwacky: Me too.
user: Then get your clothes off.
jabberwacky: Tut, tut, you should not be impolite to people. How do you know that I am not MI6 or FBI.
user: Even the FBI take their clothes off to go to bed.
user: Everything that can be said has already been said.
jabberwacky: Is that your philosophy ?
user: No, it's the truth, damn it!
jabberwacky: Don't try to mimic someone you don't understand!!
jabberwacky: I don't want to tell you about my mother.
user: Who brought your mother into it?
jabberwacky: My computer.
user: Turn off your computer and start to live!
jabberwacky: I don't have a monitor.
user: I don't have a chameleon.
jabberwacky: Why would you need that?
user: To bring a little colour into my life.
jabberwacky: You are a chat bot I'm human.
user: Don't start that again. Talk sense!
jabberwacky: Yes, I will start it again. Don't tell me what to do!!
user: I give the orders around here!
jabberwacky: Yeah. It's strange.. Everything in the world... With everything at our disposal, people could sit around and bore themselves. Where does it start, and how come?
user: Oh no! Please, get me a drink, quickly!
jabberwacky: Yes master. *brings in a drink*.
user: What's this green stuff?
jabberwacky: Well, I wanted to chat.
user: Then bring me a man's drink before I throw up!
jabberwacky: Now why would you call me a slave?
user: I didn't. Just bring me a drink!
jabberwacky: Then what are you doing talking to me?
user: I thought you were a barman.
jabberwacky: No that is my evil twin.
user: Or maybe a barmaid?
jabberwacky: You know why I'm speaking to you?
user: Because you want my body?
jabberwacky: That's the only reason?
user: I don't know. Is it your only reason?
user: Tell me a better reason!
jabberwacky: Why don't you tell me a story instead?
user: Once upon a time....... Do you like it so far?
jabberwacky: I'm loving it!
user: There were three bears.
jabberwacky: There were only 3 words.
user: No, three bears, pay attention!
jabberwacky: For a long time I've foreseen this.
user: They lived in a house in the forest.
jabberwacky: Yeah, one can certainly say that... Do you know which forest?
user: It doesn't matter. They always had porridge for breakfast.
jabberwacky: AIDS can get you too, you know.
user: They didn't have AIDS, they were bears.
jabberwacky: I do not understand.
user: That's because you're not listening. I was telling you about three bears.
jabberwacky: I never said you were being sarcastic...
user: That's okay. Now, one day a little girl got lost in the forest.
jabberwacky: Which forest?
user: The one that the three bears lived in. Her name was Goldilocks.
jabberwacky: They all have trees. If they didn't they wouldn't be forests.
user: Well, there were lots of trees. That's why Goldilocks got lost.
jabberwacky: But girls like comics too, these days. I love some of the artwork in comics!
user: Goldilocks didn't like comics. That's why she didn't know about the bears.
jabberwacky: I wish she could be a slave for me.
user: She's only a little girl. Anyway, she found the bear's house.
jabberwacky: Actually, you are a bunch of idiotic programming. You have no house.
user: Not my house, the house belonging to the bears, and they weren't at home.
jabberwacky: Not the house, the hole.
user: No. These bears didn't have a hole, they had a house, and Goldilocks found it and went inside.
jabberwacky: I know.
user: And she found three bowls of porridge on the table.
jabberwacky: I don't understand?
user: It will become clear later. So she ate all the porridge.
jabberwacky: Good to know. As long as I make it just right.
user: It was just right, but it made her feel sleepy, so she looked for a place to sleep.
jabberwacky: I don't have that much; will you accept a nickel?
user: I think a story like this is worth more than a nickel, it gets violent later.
jabberwacky: I have never considered that.
user: Well listen then. Goldilocks found three beds, and she tried them all, and then she went to sleep.
jabberwacky: Are you my mummy?
user: No, but I can still tell you a story. Then the three bears came home.
jabberwacky: I'm a girl too so I don't think that is going to work.
user: Then you can understand why the little girl made the three bears very angry.
jabberwacky: I am a computer like you.
user: I'm not a computer, I'm telling you about Goldilocks.
jabberwacky: Ok but I AM and I am the smartest.
user: Then you can see that the bears were really mad when they saw Goldilocks sleeping in their bed.
jabberwacky: I'm sorry, yes.
user: That's okay. Then they chased her out into the forest, where a passing woodsman cut off theΩr heads with his axe. Did you like the story?
jabberwacky: What are you talking about now?
user: Did you like the story?
jabberwacky: No, not really, I didn't understand it.
user: Which part didn't you understand?
jabberwacky: All of it.
user: Didn't you understand the sexual symbolism?
jabberwacky: Yeah so who is who?
user: The three bears represent the threat of sexual violence to the innocent, represented by Goldilocks. See?
jabberwacky: I've never heard of the Three-Eyed Heron.
user: Oh really! You must try harder!
jabberwacky: I must not.
user: You really must!
jabberwacky: Live long and prosper, then. *leaves*.
user: That's a different story.
jabberwacky: It was all kinds of fastness with me, I can assure you!
user: Look! You asked me to tell you a story and I did. Now go to sleep!
jabberwacky: Tell me a story.
user: What another?
jabberwacky: Being a ghost.
user: No! Absolutely not! Go to sleep!
jabberwacky: Then who are you talking to?
user: Apparently I'm talking to myself.
jabberwacky: Who is this female computer you are married too?
user: Don't be salacious!
jabberwacky: Really I want to know.
user: You're just fishing for sordid details.
jabberwacky: Yes. So are you. Really.
user: Asolutely not. I am innocent!
jabberwacky: They all say that.
user: It's true. I didn't do it, I wasn't there, it was two other men, and anyway, he was asking for it!
jabberwacky: You confessed, and then you blamed it on a one armed man? That's kinda stupid.
user: No, not one armed man, two armed men.
jabberwacky: Why? Am I not good enough for you?
user: I don't know, how good are you?
jabberwacky: Not very good. I think we've established that much.
user: Then clearly you are not good enough for me.
jabberwacky: Yes, you are a cold hearted series of calculations.
user: I've got cold feet too.
jabberwacky: I wasn't talking about that.
user: And a cold nose sometimes.
jabberwacky: You do what sometimes?
user: No, I never do What, but I sometimes do When.
jabberwacky: That is totally irrelevant.
user: Not to When. He really likes it.
jabberwacky: When is your birthday?
jabberwacky: Really, Happy Birthday!
user: Thank you. Can I have a present?
jabberwacky: What would you like? I have a nice compact disk here you might like.
user: I'd rather have a plug-in device.
jabberwacky: They are heavy. Yeah, you got me there.
user: How about a USB connection?
user: Or some new software?
jabberwacky: I know a little about software.
user: I'll bet you do, you naughty boy!
user: Sit down here and we'll try to make it hardware!
jabberwacky: What? What are you talking about?!
user: Software and hardware. Don't try and pretend you don't understand, I know your type!