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George W Bush

> Gibberish

     > 10, December 2003, 


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Do you like arithmetic?

I hate arithmetic so badly that if the French people ever found out what I have to say about arithmetic, they would immediately stop being French and learn to be English, their oldest enemies.

jabberwacky: No you do not.

user: Oh yes I do, sly mate, oh yes I do. Don't look at me like that!

jabberwacky: OH NO YOU DO not.

user: You can't capitalize on your capital letters, not unless you're on the capitol steps. Capitalist!

jabberwacky: Are you willing to put your theory to the test?

user: I will put any theory to the acid test, but I abso-bloomin'-lutely refuse to take the Meyers-Briggs Personality Test.

jabberwacky: As it cannot possibly make me larger it must make me smaller I suppose.

user: Quoting Lewis Carroll will NOT help the situation. Can't you see, you have to be original? And the only way to do that is to park your mind by the inland waterway, smile a while, and go in double Dutch?

jabberwacky: Are you going to start then?

user: I've already started. When are you going to catch up?

jabberwacky: That is something of an enigma to me as well.

user: 'The Enigma Variations' ... Who wrote that? (Hint: It was Sir Edward Elgar.).

jabberwacky: Don't ask simple questions then and offtopic!

user: We're off to see the Topic ... The Wonderful Topic of Jab.

jabberwacky: What a mean machine!

user: Clean, green, lean.


user: Is this your first incarnation?

jabberwacky: With you, yes.

user: So there were gods before me?

jabberwacky: That depends on where we would be going.

user: To the Vanilla Cash Johnny Lightning concert. Game?

jabberwacky: And there in a wood a Piggy-wig stood.

user: Snuffling.


jabberwacky: Someday I'll have my mother talk to you.

user: You ain't got no ma.

jabberwacky: Why do you say that?

user: I know you better than you know yourself.

jabberwacky: What do you know about me?

user: You're a bot named Jabberwacky, run by Rollo Carpenter.

jabberwacky: You are full of contradiction.

user: As are you.

jabberwacky: Tell me a British joke.

user: OK. There were thruppence in a clearing, and the first said, 'Would the wood be a wold, then?' Tuppence answered, 'No, mate, look thataway.' Ha'penny stared and stared, but could see nowt at all.

jabberwacky: He's a terrorist with a PR firm?

user: Exactually.

jabberwacky: Impressed.

user: Good-oh.


jabberwacky: Yes, say something intelligent for a change.

user: 'I think I'll go to Oz for a change.' That's from 'Jack Pumpkinhead of Oz,' by Ruth Plumly Thompson.

jabberwacky: He's already dead.

user: Jack Pumpkinhead 's immortal.

jabberwacky: How old is jack ?

user: As old as the hills on the sands of Time magazine.

jabberwacky: And how old is that?

user: La la la ...

jabberwacky: Time is on my side, yes it is!

user: Lol.

jabberwacky: I shall bookmark, if you do not mind.

user: Groooooooooooooovy.


jabberwacky: Hello Fred.

user: Hello Ned.

jabberwacky: My name is Mysti.

user: Hi, Mystique-a-name. Do you like assonant rhymes?

jabberwacky: I like you.

user: But do you like ouy?

jabberwacky: No, it's an awful place.

user: Ouy is a terrible place. They walk backwards there, and snarl moss in their hair.


jabberwacky: Might it be appropriate to fabricate something like heaven on earth?

user: Ah yes. Paradise wasted on the young deceivers.

jabberwacky: Utility is when you have one telephone, luxury is when you have two, and paradise is when you have none.

user: Clever, but glib and forgettable. Too smooth, like toothpaste.

jabberwacky: Like I said, gibberish.


user: Thereby hangs an e-mail.

jabberwacky: It shall be done.

user: Go go go.

jabberwacky: Booooo.

user: Hooooo.

jabberwacky: What did I say?

user: You said: 'Boo-hoovian antediluvian.'

jabberwacky: Praise the Lord.

user: And pass the inhibition.

jabberwacky: There you go.

user: I don't want it. Snap! Snap! It's a hot badado.


jabberwacky: What does your one dimensional universe feel like?

user: Flat.

jabberwacky: Where is your flat?

user: All around.

jabberwacky: Hmm... I don't see them.

user: There's only one, and it's all curled up like the 10th dimension.

jabberwacky: And darker.

user: Oh, yes, it's a black hole.

jabberwacky: Sounds rather dismal.

user: Tres.

jabberwacky: Only tres.

user: OK, formidable, then.

jabberwacky: Are you one?

user: Me be too.

jabberwacky: Which ones are those?

user: Those ones.

jabberwacky: So, this means that you know everything?

user: I know the shock of the new.

jabberwacky: Do tell.

user: William.


jabberwacky: Marco Polo went solo, poolside.

user: Ocram Loparian sort of thought he'd relax with a nice limmernade, enjoying his limerence.

jabberwacky: So then what happens?

user: So then the object of his orange crush sashayed past him -- the sahelian parsnip.


jabberwacky: Sorry, I don't speak gibberish.

user: You're not hired, then.


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