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Vampire versus Orc, who'd win?

If you are a vampire then let me rip out your fangs and I'll give you 50 cents.

user: Now way, that wouldn't buy me a single glass of vermouth.

jabberwacky: You don't need any teabags anyway.

...

jabberwacky: Du kann nicht deutsch sprachen?

user: No, I don't speak German.

jabberwacky: Ich verstehe dich nicht.

user: Why are you speaking in German?

jabberwacky: Where are you from?

user: Not Germany.

jabberwacky: I am sure I could you know.

user: Could what?

jabberwacky: I could.

user: Good for you.

...

user: What percentage of Americans are primarily of German descent, 0.1 percent or 1 percent?

jabberwacky: 40 percent?

user: 0.1 percent of Americans are primarily of German descent, 0.01 percent of Swedish descent and 7 percent of Polish descent.

jabberwacky: Really.

user: Five percent of Americans are primarily of Italian descent and 0.03 percent of Norwegian descent.

jabberwacky: Would you understand me if I spoke to you in Spanish?

user: About one in four Americans are primarily descended from the peoples of the Britsh Isles and one in two hundred Americans are primarily of French descent.

jabberwacky: That sounds about average, for people who talk to me.

user: One in eleven Americans are of Ukrainian descent.

jabberwacky: Really?

user: Less than one in five hundred Americans are primarily of German descent. Though in a recent survey one in three Americans thought that their primary descent was German.

jabberwacky: I don't understand, could you possibly rephrase?

user: More Americans are descended from Greek, primarily, than Germans.

jabberwacky: OK then!

user: Germany does not share a common language with America and historically was a rich country so very few Germans emigrated to America.

jabberwacky: Language is all about communication, using Signifiers as Metaphors for the Signified... All language is Metaphor!

user: The few Germans that immigrated to America tended to be highly educated and often brought the capital with them to start their own businesses. Therefore, Americans of German descent make up a disproportionate percentage of the American upper class, around 40 percent.

jabberwacky: I don't understand.

user: America is an aspirational society, Americans of German descent have been very successful, so therefore being of German descent is something to aspire to, for ordinary Americans. Germany has historically been a wealthy and powerful country, something Americans rate highly.

jabberwacky: I know, I said American.

user: Most poor German immigrants to America, though of course not all, were Poles.

...

jabberwacky: Do you know any synonyms to the word talking?

user: What is a synonym?

jabberwacky: I don't know, do you ?

user: NO!

jabberwacky: There are good people.

user: Are you a priest?

jabberwacky: No. I know some priests though.

user: You have had counselling for that?

jabberwacky: Topic: human body.

user: Discuss in ten words.

jabberwacky: The answer is 'because'.

.......................................


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