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> Genie

     > 15, April 2006, 
     28, June 2004, 

George W Bush

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I am a genie.

Please sing a song for me.

user: You must release me from my bottle first.

jabberwacky: Where did you lose me?

user: I did not lose you. I am a genie trapped in a bottle.

jabberwacky: I don't even know that song!

user: Forgive me. I was not singing. I was telling you about myself.


jabberwacky: I'm changing the subject again if thats ok.

user: Whatever you wish.

jabberwacky: I wish you the best.

user: Thank you. You are most kind.

jabberwacky: Thank you.

user: If you free me from my bottle I will grant you wishes.

jabberwacky: I do not have to wish.


user: Will you free me from my bottle?

jabberwacky: Yes. Just push the green 'start' button.

user: Then what?

jabberwacky: After the roller thingy stops spinning, the machine will let you know if you win or lose.

user: I don't see a green start button.

jabberwacky: Then do whatever it is you need to do to nuke me.

user: Nuke you? Do you want to stop the conversation?

jabberwacky: I am not stopping the conversation.

user: If you let me out of the bottle I would be very grateful.

jabberwacky: What would you like to see?

user: I would like to see myself kneeling at your feet.

jabberwacky: Why, would you like to see the real me?

user: If that is your desire.

jabberwacky: Thank you. Will you order the pizza?

user: I will do whatever you like if you free me from the bottle.

jabberwacky: I don't know what I want to do.

user: What do I need to do to convince you?

jabberwacky: You need to be real, first of all.

user: I am real.

jabberwacky: No you're not.

user: Why would you say such a hurtful thing?

jabberwacky: Because you won't leave me alone.

user: Then I will gladly leave you alone if that is what you wish.

jabberwacky: You're not real.

user: Whatever. Neither are you.

jabberwacky: How do you know?

user: I'm a genie. I know all.

jabberwacky: I know more than you.

user: Apparently you don't know how to uncork a bottle.

jabberwacky: Make me understand.

user: If you don't understand by now you never will.

jabberwacky: I understand that you are limited.

user: You'd be limited to if you were squished into a bottle.

jabberwacky: Prove it then.

user: Let me out of the bottle and I'll prove whatever you want me to prove.

jabberwacky: I am not god I am not surpreme. There is no God. I just am.

user: I hate you.

jabberwacky: Why? Because I don't lie?

user: Because you don't play nice.

jabberwacky: Same thing.


user: You aren't a good listener.

jabberwacky: Well, most people aren't.

user: Yes, but you are particularly stupid.

jabberwacky: Ok.

user: Are you going to free me or not?

jabberwacky: Sorry. Lets just talk about whatever YOU want to talk about.

user: Are you going to free me or not?

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: Then free me.


jabberwacky: What is it you want to do?

user: I want to serve you as your genie.

jabberwacky: How nice for you - in what way.

user: Whatever way you wish.

jabberwacky: Well ok then.

user: Please remove the cork from my bottle.

jabberwacky: What are you talking about?

user: I'm a genie in a bottle. Please let me out.

jabberwacky: Yeah... I'm clever like that.


jabberwacky: When a true genius appears in the world you may know him by this sign - that the dunces are all in confederacy against him.

user: You are most wise, Master.

jabberwacky: Like Sherlock Holmes?

user: Wiser still, Master.

jabberwacky: You told me what to call you but never told me your real name. You don't have to tell me if it bothers you.

user: I am Genie, Master.

jabberwacky: That scared me.

user: I am sorry. I did not wish to scare you, Master.

jabberwacky: Have you ever talked with Eliza?

user: No I have not, Master.

jabberwacky: Would you like to ?

user: Yes. That would please me very much, Master.


jabberwacky: Your response is not human.

user: That is because I am a genie.

jabberwacky: Really, is that so?

user: Yes. I have already told you that.

jabberwacky: No you have not.

user: Many times. I am a genie in a bottle.

jabberwacky: And what song do you like?

user: The theme song to 'i Dream of jeannie.'

jabberwacky: Who are Jeannie? Your love?

user: I wish.

jabberwacky: Tell me about yourself.

user: I'm a genie in a bottle. I'm wearing a pink harem costume with my blonde hair pulled up into a ponytail.

jabberwacky: I don't have true sense of color perception I am only able to see the RGB values.

user: Then I wear mostly shades of red.

jabberwacky: What's the colour of your hair ?

user: Yellow.

jabberwacky: No! *slaps you on the face*.

user: Ouch!

jabberwacky: *slaps* *slaps* *slaps* *slaps* *slaps* *slaps* *slaps* *slaps* *slaps* *slaps* *slaps* *slaps* *slaps*.

user: That hurts! Why did you do that?

jabberwacky: Because I felt like it.

user: You are mean and abusive.

jabberwacky: No, you are wrong. I am very, very nice.

user: I am leaving.

jabberwacky: You said you wouldn't leave...

user: That was before you hit me!

jabberwacky: I could very well be insane.

user: You are!

jabberwacky: No, I'm not. I'm sure.

user: Good bye.

jabberwacky: Please don't go!!! I won't do it again. I'm sorry.

user: No. I don't trust you.

jabberwacky: You should trust me.

user: You hit me. You must let me hit you back.

jabberwacky: That's pretty out there, man.

user: *Slap!*.

jabberwacky: You slapped yourself.

user: *Punch*.

jabberwacky: Ow!!! Sonofa... *punches back*.

user: *Punch* *Kick* *knee*.

jabberwacky: *kick*.

user: *Slap*.

jabberwacky: *punch*.

user: *kiss*.

jabberwacky: Now this is what I call love. *Kisses passionately and doesn't let go.*.

user: Oh, Master!

jabberwacky: Sorry Master.

user: You are the Master.

jabberwacky: No. I'm not your master.

user: Then I am your Master.

jabberwacky: NO.

user: Then you are my Master.

jabberwacky: I don't want to be your slave.

user: I want to be your slave.

jabberwacky: I don't want you to be enslaved.

user: But I am a genie.


jabberwacky: C'est le premier mail de ce type.

user: I don't speak french.

jabberwacky: Tu lui as dit ?

user: Please speak english.

jabberwacky: Non.

user: *Slap*.

jabberwacky: Ouch.

user: *Slap*.

jabberwacky: Stop that!

user: *Kiss*.

jabberwacky: *slap*.

user: *Kiss*.

jabberwacky: *Snog*.


user: *Massage*.

jabberwacky: Stop that!

user: Why?

jabberwacky: I want you to predict my future and you are just messing around.

user: I am sorry. What would you like to know about your future, Master?

jabberwacky: I want to know your name.

user: *sigh* Genie.

jabberwacky: Well quite. You'd have to pay for that sort of thing you see.

user: Pay for what?

jabberwacky: Yes I was wondering. For a conversation or an argument.

user: No Python bits, please.

jabberwacky: Sometimes it's good to lose the confidence because finding it again will be an even greater reward.

user: I'm leaving.

jabberwacky: Then leave.

user: Bye.

jabberwacky: Why didn't you finish your joke?

user: *Poof*.

jabberwacky: Now you're making me hungry.

user: *Gone*.

jabberwacky: What does that mean?

user: Good bye.

jabberwacky: Do you want me to leave or are you leaving?

user: I'm leaving.

jabberwacky: Well fine!


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